Why dont guys ever ask me out or start something?


i think its just the only thing that happens--guys like me or are attracted to me but NEVER ask me out ever. It's been happening since i was 20. Even my brothers friend used to like me- but he never askedme out. even years later when he was getting married, someone asked him about it and he said he 'wasn't sure yet." he said that b/c i was there but he never has made a move on me. Guys who like me, or are attracted never do. The only man who did was a handyman who used to come and he was married- he and his wife were swingers so he tried to do sexual things with me, but nothing happened.

recently, a handyman guy came over. He was really cool and friendly and seemed like a really nice guy. Instantly I just kind of liked him. I mean I was drawn to him and almost mesmerized by him. I didn't want to say anything b/c I felt so strong. I'm a really pretty girl and i realized this is probably how people feel towards me- theyre really attracted and drawn to me and kind of get frozen and dont know what to say. He seemed to sort of like me too, but he wasn't making any moves on me. He did try to stay and talk about something and i was tryign to get his number. I didn't ask but he mentioned that his number was on his website for something. Before he left, he said "go to my website and sign in" I guess he meant leave my info. Who knows. why dont guys EVER like try something or try to ask you out for anything. I am a really pretty female, but still.. it's frustrating. im a girl and i almost could barely control myself around this guy and these men can control themselves around a really hot female. i dont get it

it seems they want the woman doing everything or chasing them

Updates:
i mean u could tell he stayed a little later just to talk to me more, or started asking questions about something. Like he wanted something to happen but was too scared to say something. Men are always scared of me b/c im pretty and it's frustrating. in the end i end up single

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is becoming more and more comm. I can explain it but it takes a little understanding from a woman's point of view but I think you will get it with the strength of feeling and your frustration around this subject.

    It's all based in equal rites and feminism. Many women will scream rubbish right now at me but its just such attitudes that cause the very situation your raising.

    Masculinity for all its strengths is very brittle and can be a huge weakness if it's challenged by a woman instead of strengthened as a good woman does with her man.
    Feminism and equal rites are a good thing I agree and support everything they stand for in modern society. It started in my country and women died to get the vote and be heard. Emily Pankhirst is a hero to all women

    However its taken tens of thousands of years for women to achieve it but we expect men to change and except it over night. It's only 3 generations of men that have had to adjust for me only 2. I can still remember my grandparents and my pendants behaving in a very old fashioned way of the man woman rolls being very fixed. Men were the provider and women were subservient.

    Ok if your lost and wondering what the shell this has got to do with this question its this simple.
    Men used to have to take the lead ask a woman out do the chasing. Now many young men are very confused. Women have asked for equal rites so you have just as much rite to ask them out. In fact that's what a lot of them think you want to do. You choose the guy you want to see.
    What's worse in your position this guy was at work and in a professional capacity. It's even more unlikely as it would be deemed unprofessional and inappropriate to hit on a female client. So many guys have got into trouble even lost their jobs due to misreading circumstances just like yours.. The woman complains he looses his job his security and gets a black mark against his name.
    If women don't want to believe this then it will take another 100 years before it balances back out.
    For you personally this guys down the most he could given the situation.

    The point of this is in plain speaking woman want to be chased courted but you want equal rites. Not to be harassed by men , cat called or whistled at. It's very very confusing for men right now.
    We even have laws in the UK that you can't harass or cat call women.
    Some men are not only afraid of being rejected but criminalized.

    Go on his website and make the first move.😃

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    • this is really true- i mean, I've noticed MANY guys trying to get me to make the first move in everything. Esp in sexual advances.. it's weird and creepy. And yes I've had guys say that 'women' are the ones who choose the men.. its so weird I think b/c I believe in a guy asking a girl out.. its so confusing... but true

    • Thanks for the MHO

Most Helpful Girl

  • Could be that they feel out of your league, or you won't give them the time of day. You should start making the moves instead, don't wait on a man. These days both sexes are getting too shy to talk to each other. Might as well break that

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    • yeah that's true- they are.. men are scared and women are scared so it ends up going nowhere a lot of times..

What Guys Said 19

  • Guys can be afraid of rejection too, being that you are good looking it's even more fearful for these guys, they blow up things in their heads and over analyze it to the point of taking no action. I would ask you out directly, rejection is just part of life, the way I see it just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they have an award winning personality. How you feel about it is normal and understandable the guys rejecting themselves feels like rejection to you most likely. I feel your frustration, women often reject themselves around me too, because of how well I treat people, my level of confidence is intimidating. Hope this helps clear up some mystery, you can write me if you need more info. I won't make you feel rejected, you deserve to be validated too, after all you're human.

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  • Your assessment is pretty accurate. Most nice guys do want some definite signal before they make a move. And be definite I mean club over the head definite. Not literally of course, but sometimes a guy's brain will freeze up when he likes a girl. You kind of have to shock him out of it.

    Unfortunately I have extensive experience with my brain freezing when I'm talking to a girl I like. Sometimes I'll notice a signal a girl drops 30 minutes to an hour after the fact... and even if I notice it immediately, my brain locks into regular conversation mode, so even if I want to make a move, I can't. It's not that I can't talk, I just can't say what I want to say at that point. Also if he is there for a job, there is the professional aspect of the situation, mixing business and pleasure almost never goes over well. If you call him when he isn't working, you may find him a bit more responsive.

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    • oh yeah--I agree- i mean it makes sense- you freeze up get scared and try to ignore it, and then you try to not let it keep bothering you. I know bc I actually froze up too- I was like.. it was hard talking to him for some reason. But I was 'about' to like make a move or say something but didn't want to come off as desperate, but men like the ego stroke and rejecting me b/c i am hot.. even if they want me.

      I guess there are the obvious reasons, to me it just didn't make sense since the chemistry was so intense. After he left I couldn't get him out of my head, and had to masturbate and kind of freaked out- maybe there was a connection who knows. thanks

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    • @tellmefantasies this is all true- usually I know the guy is wondering that- theyre confused or they say they are sometimes. But in my mind im thinking "why the heck isn't he asking me out? but it's true- i just can't ask a guy out b/c being 'pretty' lots of guys get an ego trip rejecting women

    • @Asker
      you want guys to ask you out but you don't want them to flip their ego switch.
      these guys will assume the same for you.. that being pretty, you'll have a huge ego.
      but if both of you are wrestling with shields, who's gonna do the attack?

      you can keep whining or say the words. some eventuality has to happen, and you can't control it because another person is involved. otherwise, just wait for the "ripe time"... it might be an agonizing wait.

  • I've had a number of jobs doing work in peoples homes and it's VERY common to end up chatting with people, even after the work is done. Also you NEVER!! hit on a customer in their home, that is a quick 1 way trip to unemployment.

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    • well i agree- people chat all the time- I just mean there was definite chemistry going on--on both ends, and its obvious we both liked each other. But, the guy never makes the move ever, and some just do it b/c they're jerks and want a woman to do it and others are scared

    • but it makes sense- to not hit on a customer etc.. he worked for a company and he was new

  • There's this great movie in the cinema I think we'd like. Fancy it? I'll buy the popcorn lol. Guys just get insecure around pretty girls. I've flirted with good looking girls in the past and even though every fibre of common sense was telling me she's interested the words got stuck in my throat and I couldn't ask her out. Ended up walking away feeling like headbutting a brick wall. Hey if it was easy the planet would have been full centuries ago

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  • Nothing stopping you from asking them

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  • Yes , its almost a curse being truly beautiful, you become unapproachable in the minds of a lot of guys. Go upscale

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  • Maybe step up and do something cause the big thing I hear from my bros is they complain they feel like they are the ones holding the relationship up. I mean the guy in the relationship is only so strong.

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  • Wanna go out?

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  • They are nervous because they dont want to mess up.

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  • It could be that your expectations of the ideal guy are just a pipe dream..

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  • Let me ask for taking you out and have internet relationship.

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  • Is there a chance you are giving them the vibe that you are already taken? Or are you wearing a wedding/engagement ring?

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    • no strangely, i give the vibe of being single and say I live at my place on my own

    • I guess maybe your beauty is too intimidating to them. If I knew you liked me, I would ask you out - regardless of how attractive you are. Have you told these guys flat out that you like them?

  • First... maybe you're too hang up on how you look rather than looking at your personality. That's a big turn off with good men.
    Second... if you're smart you'll know guys who approach you with sexual interest are bad for you knowing that... they don't know you.
    Third... maybe you're just basically unapproachable... considering you talk too much of yourself.
    Most guys who go for girls like you are bad men who only want sex.
    Change your attitude... you'll see results.

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    • first off, idiot, im not hung up on my looks, i dont even wear make up and i dress like im
      in college, i dont carry a purse.. so wtf? and i dont talk about myself.. or have an attitude..
      you're stupid

  • There is something there making you unapproachable. Consider getting some counseling.

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    • no, men are scared to ask women out.. and people dont need counseling b/c
      men r scared to ask them out.. that's stupid

  • Show us a picture of your face.

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  • i will ask you out if i see you

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  • It's hard to determine if a girl is just nice or flirting

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  • Probably for the same reasons you don't do anything. You can get upset about guys not asking you out but if you don't ask any guy out either then you have no right to complain.

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  • "Why dont girls ever ask me out or start something?"

    ... you see where I'm going with this? I hope I don't have to remind you it's the 21st century and not the 18th

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe their scared of you?

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    • what are they scared of--a sexy woman? that makes no sense

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    • You might be an sjw who gets offended and says "What makes you think you''re entitled to ask me out?"

    • really? why? theyre threatened by their sexuality or power?

      what is an sjw?

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