Do guys actually have feelings?

I'm just wondering if guys actually have feelings or get feelings for someone because almost every guy I've met only wants sex, nothing else. I'm 18 and I've never had a boyfriend. So I don't know if guys actually do get feelings or just want hookups and stuff for fun? Tbh I think I'm probably gonna be single forever because I don't think a guy would ever like me (idk why I'm nice friendly, loyal, fun... etc) and because most guys seem to not have feelings and only want one thing


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope. Guys don't have feelings. You know that saying "Men are from mars, women are from Venus." ? That's actually true, though the government has spent billions trying to cover it up. Men and women are actually aliens from separate planets. Women evolved to have emotions, and men evolved to rape women.

    It's all in the history books. Don't be misled by husbands giving their lives protecting their wives. They're only doing it because they have determined that should they let their wife die, they will no longer be able to get other pussy. Do not be misled by boyfriends dying to protect girlfriends from some crazed psychopath who goes on a shooting spree. They are simply protecting their property. It doesn't mean they actually care about the women.

    Also, seriously though, guys namely care about attractiveness. Don't project your sexual preferences onto them. That's like guys sending you dick pics. And honestly, it's just as disgusting. If there is no attraction, there is no reason to pursue anything. This is in contrast to women who are much more conceptual about how willing a guy might be to die for them or how much ambition or confidence he has, or how much he could possibly entertain her. Women can more readily sacrifice physical attraction for other attributes. Men, in the majority of circumstances, will not.

    Yes. We do have feelings. We have relatively the same feelings. However, we have different instinctual sexual goals. In addition, sex is high risk to women. It is low risk to men.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course they do, but here's the thing: sexual desire is a feeling. Is it perhaps less emotional at times? Yes. But it is very human. Sure I get it, I hate guys just wanting to fuck and run too, but that doesn't mean they are unemotional, it means that they are a little immature and are running with the most easily identifiable feelings.

    You just need to find the right guy and be upfront with the guys that try to approach you boner first; you'd be amazed at the guys that'll run when you say no and the ones who stay even when you say no. So chin up.

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What Guys Said 90

  • It is understandable that you feel frustrated at your age. Most guys who are 18-19 years old do only want one thing but, even at that age, there are some guys who are looking for more than another notch to carve on their bed post. If you are consistently encountering the same kind of guy who keeps a scorecard for the competition with other guys, then you may be doing something subconsciously that results in you finding the same guys. Where do you look for guys - bars, clubs, etc? Guys there are primarily looking for hookups. Meeting guys on Tinder? Same reputation. Thin about the kind of guys who you want to meet, try to imagine their mind set, and think about where those guys would be hanging out. Also, you may want to expand you age limits a bit. Guys have a tendency to become more serious as they get older and maybe you should consider dating guys who are 3-4 years older than you.

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  • Girl, you're wayyyyyy too young to get bitter about the opposite sex. Patience!

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  • Yes, we do but don't normally talk about them because of how we get treated when we do talk about them. So we close up.

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    • I wish guys would share their feelings more often.. They need someone to talk to and someone who will listen. Don't you think? Would it bother you if a girl wanted you to share your feelings and she just wanted to listen to you a lot? How does a guy view that?

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    • @Fairy21 you only allow messages from people you are following. So you can follow me or comment on one of my questions and we can talk there.

    • @Fairy21 Be careful what you wish for. It's not as great as you think it is. An old sitcom example that made fun of this kind of situation was Bruce Willis' final moments in Friends.

      Been there. Done that too. It's not that great for anyone involved.

  • Sure do. I have confused many things and made a lot of mistakes, especially in my presumptions of dating and relationships.

    Whatever you're doing to meet guys, or wherever you're going or whoever you're spending time with might just not be the kind of people/things that will introduce you to the type of person you want to meet.

    Wanting to have sex, that's pretty natural. Our species wouldn't exist otherwise I'd imagine. Most people, men and women, do.

    I'd been with several women when I first started dating a woman who wasn't interested in sex. I knew I'd be missing something that I knew I enjoyed, which ended up being hard and sad. I tried, but it was a mistake, it was too hard and it felt like she really only cared about herself after a while - and I was being painted in the same light. It felt like I was being used for my money, as she'd just complain about my obvious sexual attraction towards her. She made me feel terrible about myself.

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  • if it makes you feel any better, when you hit your 40's and are divorced, women turn into men. I have been dating for a year and a half. Seems every women just wants to fuck. they have no desire for a relationship. When I get serious, they dump me.
    no joke... WTF?

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    • It's true then. As time passes, generally guys become like girls and girls become like guys. You could take advantage of the older women, but I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole. Who knows what they have in terms of baggage and disease. Especially with the hookup sites.

  • Well I am not the same as most other guys, I have strong feeling's for all my women friends this includes dates as well.. I try and treat them the way they want to be treated.. I have had no complaints ever.. so I figure I must be doing something right... and I for sure do not go after women just for sex but I know the type you are talking about.. many of them are out there... I think that I do get lots of dates because I treat them right, am honest, and listen to them when they speak, I am not a pushy person.. and it works for me

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  • Yes they have feeling and they can even gauge cuteness however depending on where you are and how you come off many guys will only want sex. When you meet a new guy just tell him that your waiting for marriage. That is a good way to weed out the losers who are only looking for sex.

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  • Yes, we do, but we learn to not show them because on an instinctive level women see that as a weakness.
    Ignore everything that women say that they want. Instead, watch the choices that they make.
    Most females in your age range want to ride the bad-boy cock carousel. Decent men need not apply.

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    • Showing feelings is not a weakness, it's a strength. When you can trust someone enough to open up to them and let you know you completely, it's a strength. A woman should feel special to get to know you in that way.

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    • @heavensgift2girls indeed. It's so true. I think it takes a very strong man to show his feelings in that kind of way. My fiancé is like that.. He is not afraid to show emotions because I have helped him to feel secure in that way. It takes a man to show emotions. <3

    • @Fairy21 That type of shaming is really getting old. A man is a man whether or not he chooses to show his emotions or not.

  • There are a few things probably going on here:

    1. Conventional wisdom holds that the biggest benefit a guy gets out of a relationship, especially when the parties are not old/mature enough to be dealing with mortgages and kids, is regular access to sex. However, society has changed significantly over the last few decades. For all women want to complain about slut-shaming, young adult promiscuity often doesn't prevent women from attracting quality mates later in adulthood anymore. Most young women are willing to have casual sex, meaning attractive young men can get sex on a regular basis without having to commit to a relationship anymore.

    2. Not expressing one's feelings is a stereotypically masculine trait. That masculinity is part of what attracts women to men. For all the fact that boys are often raised today being taught that women find sensitive men who wear their heart on their sleeve attractive, the truth is just the opposite. While it might sound good, most women find these men weak and needy in practice. The fact that a guy appears not to have feelings may actually make him more attractive to you without you realizing it. That doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings, but he's learned to conceal them.

    3. Following from (1) and (2), you, like most young women, may simply be attracted to the type of men who are practiced in attracting women and can get sex whenever they want. At your age, women have little to offer to make these men give that up for more than a few months at a time at best. The guy who is not pursuing women for casual sex and would be happy with a relationship is not on your radar. You don't consider him attractive or find him to be relationship material. That you should stay away from them is reinforced by the idea that all the loner "nice guys" are secretly just scum trying to use you.

    The short of it is, you're very likely not going to consider the options for improving your chances to be viable. You might get lucky, but don't count on it for another decade or so. In the meantime, you can decide to enjoy casual sex like your peers, or work on your strengths so that down the road you become an irresistible catch compared to them. Trust me, the more you look like a stable, loyal woman who knows what she wants and makes responsible decisions, the more your value as a potential partner will skyrocket over time.

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  • Of course. We also feel a lot of the same feelings women do. Guys are "programmed" not to share feelings though. Society teaches us that we are somehow "less manly" if we share or talk about them. We aren't as emotional as women either so we can "hide" our feelings a lot easier. But we still have them for sure. And as far as sex, that's just the age thing mostly right now. Guys are horny daily and often all day long (imagine you were, how would you act/feel?) and we can have sex without the emotional connection.

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    • With how different men and woman are with regards to sex I'm really surprised anyone has sex ever lol.

  • Well I am asexual and male, so there goes that theory. I have never meet another guy with absolutely no feelings.

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  • s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...3d8eb2686c.jpg

    Yes lol we have feelings we're just better at controlling them.

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  • I think the problem is that most humans regardless of gender are just really selfish, and not looking for a lasting relationship.

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  • guys definitely have feelings. sounds to me like perhaps you just need to try and meet a different type of guys. perhaps consider the guys you pursue or pursue you and see what the common thread is that often leads to only wanting sex. perhaps you could hang out in different places where you'll meet a different type of guy

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  • Of course they do, they just hide it really well.

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  • Guys are usually less emotional then girls, almost on the same principle that guys are tend to cry much less then girls, but it doesn't mean that guys don't have feeling at all, it's means that it's much harder for an guy to fall in love, but there is advantages in it, because having feeling for the wrong people can be problematic, also it's true that guys are usually more sexual then girls, but with that said, it's looks like you meeting only guys who are looking for one night stand, and as a girl who is not slutty you deserve better then that, so you should look for serious guys. There are many guys that appraise loyalty and purity, with or without feeling.

    tvtropes.org/.../NatureAdoresAVirgin

    tvtropes.org/.../SillyRabbitRomanceIsForKids

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  • I almost attempted suicide many years ago because of a rejection I couldnt take in nicely. ' what use is a life without her? ' i kept saying to myself. Needless to say I didn't do it because I had some consciousness left inside me and tried to convince myself that I can improve upon my mistakes and try for her again- so many love stories where the guy was rejected the first time. It didn't work out and I spent many years trying to get out of it and now finally I feel like I can maybe love again.

    But the internet says men have no feelings.. Well okay..

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  • yes we do!!!

    Not all guys want sex. I have a girlfriend and she isn't ready for sex and im ok with that.

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    • Well you're a good person them! Every time I tell a guy I'm not ready for that they'd leave me and ignore me

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    • @Johnson123, At least someone's got their head on straight! :) ;)

    • @Fairy21 lol, thanks

  • Women generally want only the men they care about to have feelings. So, men learn not to be so emotional. The problem is, you can't just switch your emotions on and off. So, even when he ends up being successful with a woman and she starts wanting him to be emotional, he won't be emotional. Add to that the fact that those romantically/sexually successful men face less and less competition now (a guy who can approach a girl at all is now far above average confidence), and there's a lot of temptation for those successful men.

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  • Its really rare but guys do have feelings you just must be getting the short end of the stick.

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  • Of course men have feelings. You have to understand that as little boys growing up, most of us are taught not to cry. It's a sign of weakness. Now you may not think so but to us men crying, especially in front of other men is a no no, you're looked at as a b! tch. It's that whole bravado, that machismo that we men have w one another. You may think that's dumb but women tend to be the same way as well w different things. If you think about it, think about how many times you've heard a mother or father say stop crying, boys don't cry? Especialky if you're raised in a family who, maybe has a lineage of military family members, a dad who was raised to be "hard," etc. Men are taught to go out, conquer the world. When it comes to feelings, we run from the cause we've never had to stand there and deal w them. We're taught to suppress those feelings, they're still there we just don't know how to express them. As far as the younger boys wanting sex, that's just how most of them are at that age. I know I was.

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  • Yea we have feelings... I'm trying my hardest to earn my girl back... she left me for another guy and it's causing me to have anxiety and depression, it's destroying me everyday. We do have feelings, we're just like you, we're all people and all people want is love

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  • Of course there are guys only looking to get laid, and then the ones that have been played too many times so they stop taking girls seriously altogether. But not all are like that.

    I'd say most guys just have a hard time expressing emotions, and are often judged when doing so.

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  • No, we're all secretly walking talking robots under some synthetic skin... *Sarcasm* The heck of course we have feelings... and no, not all guys just want to jump and hump you ok? Maybe... just maybe... your looking in all the wrong places eh? :v

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  • Okay hold on there. We men have feelings, there is however a difference between boys and men. We men have feelings it's difficult for us to express those feelings. Some of us men a more comfortable expressing them than others.
    A boy (male) in a grown mans body wants sex, a man wants and relationship and marriage. He will set boundaries not to pressure you into having sex. But instead pursue you for marriage. Yes us men are rare to be found but we're out there.
    When we are comfortable with a women we are more expressive with our feelings.

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  • That is the first mistake women make. We have lots of feelings and those feelings get hurt all the time.

    However our emotions are different. And we have a different priorities in life. Women seem to be looking for a relationship. We are more goal orientated which is exactly what you need in man.

    Just as women don't wanna be pressured into sex we don't want to be pressured into a relationship. Just take it cool, meet as many guys as you can and see how things progress. Learn from guys. Don't throw away the guys you are not interested in. Keep them as real friends and see that are actually not that much different.

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  • I would like to think I have feelings. I just went on a date and I wanted to just spend time with her, not fuck her.

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  • Yes, but we hide it very well.

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    • In fact, a few years ago I watched a rerun of the "Rescue 911" TV show (late 80s to the 90s). One episode I teared up. It was about a boy who saved his father after he fell down the stairs.

  • There is a lot pressure on guys. Unfortunately being manly to many involves mastery over women. You can see it throughout our culture, ie; James Bond. You need to find someone who has self confidence and isn't trying to live up to a false image of manliness. What's worse is you're a millennial, a generation that has more problems committing to relationships than any other. I'm a gen x guy barely and older guys don't have this problem. Younger guys 25 and below usually just want to hook up because that's what guys are supposed to do.

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  • I can tell you for a fact that guys do have feelings... sometimes very complex ones and unfortunately sometimes VERY shallow ones. Getting them to express the true feelings is extremely hard as most of us don't really know how to express them properly. You just happen to be meeting all the shallow guys. Most the guys who want a relationship usually hide in the background, due to repeated rejections, I should know... I'm one of them.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 29

  • They actually do O: Can you believe it!

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  • Trust me. I understand. A lot of guys are stupid jerks just looking to get laid. But its not true that there aren't guys with feelings. There are guys with feeling! Deep feelings. You just have to look for them, and wait it out. :p I know it's not easy. But to encourage you, I'm a virgin, waited for years, and now I have a fiancé who's never been with anyone. And who has feelings. He's sweet, sensitive, caring.. Everything a girl wants in a man. And he puts me first! He's amazing. So I know they exist. ;) Hang in there! You'll find him. :) And whatever you do, don't cave under pressure! <3

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  • Guys have feelings. The first time my boyfriend and I hung out, he told me randomly that he was not just trying to get in my pants. I didn't even have to prompt him. He just wanted to let me know. You'll find someone who wants more from you. I've met my fair share of douches who only wanted one thing from me. I could be speaking to soon, who knows, but my current boyfriend is the only guy I've been with who's yet to pressure me into anything. My last boyfriend wanted to sext like 2 weeks after we started dating.

    I felt the same way as you for a while, but truly not all guys are like that. You're still young. I'm 18 too. You won't alone forever. It's just you being a dramatic teen lol. I'm that way too sometimes.

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  • Sweetie you are too young to get bitter.
    Look for better men that aren't interested in hookups. There are millions of them out there.

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  • Do guys have feelings? Yes. Do they toss them around everywhere, all willy nilly? Very few. There's all kinds of guys out there with all different mindsets. Do yourself a favor and stop lumping all the guys together. Better to get out of that habit early on. Then you can start seeing individuals for who they are, not what you assume all guys are like.

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  • Ah, good question. Men do have feelings. AS they are human and not robots. The men you have met are probably young and just want to fuck. Now this is no excuse but since there brains are currently immature they always do these things. Go for older guys i guess? Or jut stay single till you find one you like. Don't give up though and keep your chin up!

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  • Guys are freakin masterminds at hiding that shit but yes of course. I know what you mean though, so many guys just want an easy fck, it gets old but you're only 18 and there are some who aren't that way, it's not that dramatic yet, I promise lol

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  • Yeah they do, they're just not as open/vulnerable as women are when showing it. Society has programmed everyone into believing they are heartless/cold. Yeah, we have a good handful of fuckboy's out there, but even those dick's get the occasion blue's/heartbreak from time to time.

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  • They store it in their dick

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  • Nope. That's why I vote that they all be stamped with a "Warning: Feelings Not Included" label once they hit puberty.

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  • Guy do have feeling. You're just probably approached by a few of the shitty ones of the group, but not all guys are bad. Many are quite nice and awesome.

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  • Yes, but since you're young, most are just now realizing that pussy is better than their hands, they're going to live it up like that "hit and quit" behavior for a while.

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  • From my experience, guy´s are under a lot of pressure from their surroundings to not expose to much of their feelings. The public picture of a men is that he should be tough and they live in danger that if they show weakness that other guy´s and also girls will exploit this. But many guy´s are actually quite sensibel despite how they come across.

    Of course there are also a lot of this guy´s who really just want sex but most are only like that because of their public reputation.

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  • Yeah. They try to hide them though which I prefer.

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  • they're humans, you know..

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  • They say there's no such thing as a stupid question.

    Your post proves otherwise.

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  • Of course they do, they're not robots

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  • yeah they have feelings girl! you've just been around the wrong guys. but even the wrong guys have feelings. just reject one and watch their reaction.

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  • of course guys have feelings they are human sometimes they just don't know how to express themselves. sexually guys usually think with their penis first, it takes time for them to develop any feelings towards a girl.

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  • Girl chill you're 18. I'm 23 and never had a boyfriend. Just wait for the right guy. They are out there somewhere.

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  • One thing I've realized is guys are far more sensitive than girls. They just get emotional over very different things. And i dont know why they dont show them. Cause women say be expressive yet they dont, maybe cause other guys judge them

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  • Yes and guys are more sensitive then woman.

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  • No, I don't think so.

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    • :'( :'( :'(

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    • I wouldn't if you were right...

    • Alright. To say that all guys Do not have feelings or emotions is like saying that all women are bitches. It simply isn't true. It's putting an opinion into one little box. You have to think about the fact that everyone is different.. We're all individuals with individual feelings and opinions. I have a girl friend who lacks emotions and feelings. See? It goes both ways.

  • We are human, and so are they. Humans have feelings. You just meet the wrong guys.

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  • It's because you're 18.

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  • I think guys can just be really one tracked minded. I don't think you should take it personally.

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  • Yes they do but if they think the sex isn't good, they will cast you aside

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  • I'm 24 years old. Guys have no feelings
    You hit the nail right on the head

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  • Of course guys have feelings. Its just at that age all there feelings are subconscious to they and they only think with one thing. What I'm trying to say is its definitely hard to find a guy you can trust at your age but it gets easier the older you are.

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