I asked a guy out and was turned down. Now im embarrassed?

He's my car mechanic and I asked him out and it turns out he was married but he never said he was. He talked like he wasn't seeing anyone and I just want to curl up into a ball and die. What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't take it so hard... it happens, there is no embarrassment when you take the initiative like that and try.

    You only fail when you don't try! This will likely happen a few times more, but eventually a guy will want to go out with you.

    There is no shame... sure it is a blow to the ego at first, but the only reason he likely said no was because he was married. If he wasn't then he most likely would have said yes. Asking a married guy is by no means being shot down, and you didn't know so it is not really representative.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey, he's married and admitted to it, he could have led you along and got you into trouble. You should just laugh it off as a funny situation. Next time you see him thank him for being so honest; tell him to tell his wife she's a lucky girl! Then leave it at that. Not everyone is a mind reader or can pick up every sign another gives so don't feel a bit bad about this little mistake. The fact that he told you right off says he's a decent good guy, nothing wrong with being attracted. Now leave him alone, you'd feel awful if the situation was reversed.

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What Guys Said 27

  • Why embarrased baby?
    You should be proud,,, u went for what u want... thats alpha female characteristic..
    His bad luck.. :P

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  • why would you want to curl up in a ball and die? you turned him down, it turned out he was married. on your end there is nothing to be embarrassed about... he on the other hand needs to get his crap together

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  • Curl up in a ball and die...

    Haha...
    You wanna solution it's simple go on another hunt...
    It's men thing... Females don't have in their insticts to hunt...
    Let's me take a an easy example to explain this...
    When in Stone age a bunch of man hunters were hunting for a food, and following a prey like a deer or Yak, or wild hog.
    If they successfully kill it..., it was a treat to those people... Lot of food for some days...
    But if the prey escaped they didn't curled up in a ball and died of the field, whatever time remained they either went behind other prey! And killed it, otherwise with divided into small teams or individuals killing lot of small animals but in huge number, bringing enough food...
    My point is don't Curl up in a ball... Instead go out explore and ask someone else out...
    And please I know you are a women and it's hunters job! First stalk the prey, get a little background info on them maybe social media Stalking going through their profile..

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  • Deal with it.
    Welcome to our (male) world, in which we are expected to make the first move and keep on going, no matter how many rejections we receive and how vicious some of them may be.
    Where I live, the younger females compete to see who can deliver the most cruel put-down to men who approach them.

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  • Go on with your life, I am sure that he was flattered. But he's with someone, that's part of it. No he probably didn't mention her because it's good practice to keep your personal and business life separate.

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  • It's not a big deal, don't worry about it. Sometimes when you ask people out they say no, but that doesn't mean they look down on you or anything. I've turned girls down because I was in a relationship or I just didn't fancy them buI didn't think any less of them for asking - if you don't ask you don't get. Men have to do this repeatedly, if we all fell apart when one woman said no we'd never get laid.

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  • I think you should be proud of yourself. You were honest enough with yourself to admit that you found him attractive, and you had the courage to do something about it, by asking him out. Now be smart enough to throw your embarrassment out the door, hold your head up like the woman you are, and move on.

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  • Even though you feel like that, just move on. It's not a big deal, he's just married and you didn't know, now you do. Life goes on. When you see him again, just act normal, like it never happened (unless he brings it up which is not likely). You have nothing to be embarrassed about and he won't think anything of it. He's probably flattered.

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  • Take it on the chin and put it down to experience. There's nothing to be ashamed of and everything to be proud of. You seen what you wanted and went to get it. You've got more about you than most women out there. Life isn't a movie with a happy ending. Even the best looking people on the planet get knocked back now and again lol

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  • Don't worry about it! He's probably extremely flattered and you took a chance. The worse case scenario is this has put you off taking another, men love a woman who is willing to ask them out, don't let this experience put you off.

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  • Welcome in the world of men. What for you was an experience for us that would be just Monday.

    I applaud you for taking that step. Most girls I know wouldn't have the guts to do this, so... Respect!!!
    Don't take it that hard. Go on and ask another guy out. And about that guy, don't ignore him or anything like that. Just talk to him as normal.

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  • now you know what it´s like to be a guy xD you didn´t do anything wrong. this is the only way to find out if someone is interested so don´t be ashamed :D

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  • You should feel proud of yourself. Not embarrassed. You took control of your life instead of being passive. Good for you. Oh and trust me you probably made his day.

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  • Just move on. Us guys get rejected quite often. Find someone else. There's still plenty of other guys out there.

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  • It's cool just move on. Cuz that's a turn on to me if you asked me out I'd be like really? Are you serious? Ok when LOL somebody will like it but not everyone keep ya head uo

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  • You can take solace in the fact that you were most likely put down gently. You have no idea how mean some women can be if a man asks them out.

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  • lol don't sweat it, nothing bad happened at all.

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  • Relax and move on, it's not the end of the world. He's married so he didn't really turn you down, he's obligated to another person.

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    • I asked him while he was working. It's not the turning down part, I just feel dumb that I never flat out asked him if he was seeing anyone.

    • It's cool. Don't fret over it.
      Could be worse, could've said yes, while married.

  • Foggedaboudit. Good for you. Now find another and do it again. After awhile it won't make any difference, you'll be comfortable with rejection and it won't matter. And you might just find MR. Right!

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  • Lmao why'd u ask out ur csr mechanic

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  • It's not the end of the world. You have to do what we men have to do--shrug it off and move on.

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  • Walk it off and move on with your life.

    Would the situation be better if he said yes and you found out he was married then?

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  • On the bright side, at least you're not a guy, so you really don't have to do the asking out. :]

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  • Rejection is a part of life. Your brave, you at least have an answer. That what if, it doesn't exist. Grow and carry on. Your a stronger woman now

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  • Grow a pair because now you no know what men go though constantly my dear friend.

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  • it's ok... you'll be ok...

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  • Nothing. He probably would have said yes if he wasn't married. It's not a big deal.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Don't be. You took a chance so you'll never wonder "what if I had asked him out". :) In a year, you probably won't remember this.

    Stay strong and don't let it get you down!

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  • He's married. Nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. you didn't know. Be proud you stepped out of your comfort zone. Hopefully he was at least kind and flattered by your offer.

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  • Oh poor you, I know you feel embarrassed right now but you can't let this affect you and your confidence, just try to calm down and go on with your life, you will forget about this in a few days time. Im sure she felt flattered, dont worry about him either. :) <3

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  • Remind yourself that you didn't know. That it's nothing to be embarrassed about and you don't even have to see that dude often.

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  • You get over it and move on with your life. Stuff like this happens all the time. Meh. Shrug it off.

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  • Find a new mechanic if you're going to act like a child.

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  • Welcome to life. All I can say is get used to it and don't beat yourself up about it.

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  • Oh well.. at least he'll fix up your car instead.

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  • you took a chance it didn't work this time keep trying it's not the end of everything. never be embarrassed about going for what you want. you have a lot of courage be proud.

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