Is it wise to invest emotionally in someone like him?

I'm seeing this guy and he seemed pretty decent. He still does and maybe I'm thinking too much. But he we got on the subject of feelings of regret and what have you. He stated he did not believe in regret, which is fine. But he went on to say, that he does believe in feelings of happiness and sadness, and anger. The conversation got a bit deeper and admitted he doesn't really understand the concept of feelings. I asked him does that mean he has little to no regard for someone's feelings and he said no he respects how people may feel but he doesn't understand them

I then asked how does he expect to connect with people. He said he doesn't connect with people he just interacts with them. Maybe I'm being sensitive and emotional because I have feelings for this guy but how can he even feel the same when he admits to not being able to connect with people. I'm concerned and I feel like I fell for someone who isn't willingly to catch me.


What Guys Said 2

  • "I'm concerned and I feel like I fell for someone who isn't willingly to catch me. "

    - It sounds like your nurturing side is kicking in, "i can heal/change him."

    Anyways, to shed light on this guy. At least he's aware enough to be honest with himself and admitting that he does have trouble have the feels.

    Emotions and feelings for guys can be tough to have. you spend the majority of your youth learning from the playground and life that emotions and feelings are a sign of weakness.. in your adult hood you have to then learn to let yourself to feel.

    It takes time for guys to learn how to have feelings and then express them..

    "Is it wise to invest emotionally in someone like him?"
    - You've heard "a man will move mountains for the women he loves." This is true, when/if a guy likes you... he will make dam sure you know it. I've met girls i've "liked," however it'll be a casual vibe... when i like a girl.. you best believe she's aware of where i stand.

    So... if you're questioning his interest level... yea.. maybe you guys continue down this road but do you want to be with a guy whose "well... lets see how it goes" with you vibe?

    • Thank you. I was sure of how he felt until that conversation now I'm confused. I'm naturally an emotional person. I like to communicate how I feel and I like that to communicated to me. It's confusing because his communication was good. He was able to tell me what exactly he wanted. But after he said that, now I'm unsure.

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    • Again, thank you. This was in sightful. And maybe I'm jumping the gun to feel I need to move on from him. Which would be difficult because we've been intimate and I like him. Maybe I should just discuss things with him. He rather reasonable.

    • Yes, i would let things settle and i wouldn't write him off yet.

  • He's going to be unusual. He may be a good person. He may genuinely care about you, and want to make you happy. He would likely need you to be more explicit about what makes you feel what way, and not expect him to GUESS how to make you happy, rather accept that he wants to, and if you explain what you need from him, he will do his best to do so.

    Maybe you can see his positives and understand his feelings better than he does and be very happy. Maybe you'll feel like you're with a robot. There's no right answer for everyone here.

    • Thank you for your input very helpful. And yes I did get a sense of a robotic tone when he expressed that too. I wondered how his way of thinking impacted his feelings for me.

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think you should invest emotionally in him. He sounds.. umm empty.