Is "no kissing before marriage" a good rule?

I’m thinking about saving my very first kiss for my future husband on the day of our wedding. As the years have gone by I’ve to come to view my kiss as a gift. I view it as something very special, something I can treasure, something that I can save and share with my future husband alone. When you are dating someone you are not under a covenant, you not under a promise, you have not yet stood before god and promised to stay together till death do us apart. So they are not yours.

  • Yes
    10% (5)18% (8)14% (13)Vote
  • No
    90% (46)82% (36)86% (82)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • absolutely!!! When you are dating it's best to remember that the person is first and foremost not your boyfriend or girlfriend, but someone else's future spouse. Living with that idea will allow you to honor them physically.

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    • @anon asker, why did you ask the question if you had a SET ANSWER IN MIND. 86 percent of people said no and you still think its a good idea.

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    • @Mesonfielde my parents didn't kiss before marriage either. There are plenty of men out there who will be willing to wait.

    • 1 in a million and kinda outdated, ok

What Guys Said 24

  • hehe... good luck with that. withholding sex which is like the highest physical expression of affection till marriage is still a deal breaker for most guys and you want to withhold a Kiss?
    first of... there will be NO marriage for you...
    secondly... this is 2016.. have you seen divorce rates?
    if you are so naive that you think because a few vows were said that its written in stone.. again.. good luck.
    Thats why people Practice marriage scenarios... i believe they call that Dating... so eventually when they DO get married, they are ready.
    Analogy:
    People are studying for the "final exam" to pass you are out there chilling and you really believe you are gonna pass? because you have some special pen? lol..
    (not a very good analogy now is it @Mesonfielde :( )

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    • I actually like that analogy to a certain degree

    • @Mesonfielde "... to a certain degree"... thats what i thought... thats why i said its not very good. it has holes... but i made it up on the fly... still applies though.

  • Good luck maintaining a relationship until marriage where you deny even the most basic elements of physical affection.

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  • You have to come down to reality now lol, seriously. Is that a romantic thought? Yes, Overly romantic? YES! No guy is going to wait until marriage for a kiss. It's not that big of a thing. If you tell a guy this he's probably just going to move on. I'm just being honest here, not trying to squash your dreams or anything but it's not realistic at all. You're going to be very disappointed if you hold on to this.

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    • my MHO right here, but she probably gonna choose someone who agrees with her as MHO. people make questions like this and already know their answer to it with no intent of changing their mind

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  • Hmm. There are two problems with that.

    1. Kissing, and ergo some degree of sexual activity, helps keep interest and helps with bonding. There are claims that how often a couple kisses is a better indicator of their relationship health than how often they have sex. When there is absolutely no romantic activity, not even kissing, there's not so much bonding. And hence, less likely chance the couple will stick together.

    2. In the Bible, couples didn't date. They were bethrothed, and they married. There was no dating for months. And unlike today, women couldn't even divorce. How many churches today will even preach that divorce, not done because of adultery, is sin?

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  • Well it's an Good idea ! . I tell you one more thing... Don't listen to any any who tells you that you are weird or something or tell you like you will regret to wait or something...
    There are so many happy couples I have Sweden most of whom have had waited by choice and had sex with one Person only.. Trust me it's worth it..

    People who tell you that you will regret and all are just people who sleep around...

    Don't listen to them!!! And stick to your preferences... And don't change them because others say so !! :-)
    Trust me most of us guys wanna settle with a girl like you :-) and not the one who sleep aroud..

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  • I understand your reasoning but personally I say it is a bad thing. I'm trying to look at it from all angles but I truly see nothing good that can come from it.

    It only sets you up for meeting your future husband but he not wanting to date you because he couldn't kiss you. You also rob yourself the chance to get to know somebody and is that what dating is all about? THe guy is not only going to think how you not only use sex as tool to trap him but also use kissing in that same way. Bad idea.

    I don't think that Adam and Eve had the chance to get married but still they kissed and had sex. When in the bible do we see the word marriage, if there is any? If there is any then many generation of people kissed and had sex before marriages took place.
    Again, bad idea

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  • Whatever works for you, if the guys you date are okay with that rule then so be it. You may very well lose out on some great guys having that rule though. Just be prepared for some rejection. Refusing sex because you want to wait is one thing, having no contact other than a hug will likely cut your "market" significantly.

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  • Not really. Whatever you're into I guess, but it's better to experience all sorts of physical intimacy with the other person to see how compatible you are in many different ways, and to strenghten that area.

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  • yeah it's a very good idea!!

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  • I don't even think no sex before marriage is a good thing. You might as well let somebody else pick. You wouldn't buy a car if you'd only ever seen a picture of it. What's wrong with sampling the goods before you commit? It's common sense and it's fun so what's the problem? Gods not handing out browny points for holding back

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  • After reading your explanation and how you think, I feel that this is a wonderful idea. Just think how special that first kiss will be.

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  • eh no lol

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  • No just no

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  • Yeah very good rule ( at least for me).. For me I wanna save everything for my special wife that I'll spend the rest of my life with 😍i wanna try my first things with her only coz she is the only girl that deserves that ❤ and I know that as I'm waiting for my right girl and saving myself for her, she is waiting for me too and saving herself for me 😊😍believe me ur husband deserves from u to wait for him and try that with him only☺
    Good luck and I wish u all the best with him ☺

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  • I wouldn't date such a prude girl. Not normal.
    What are you hiding? Either hiding something or totally frigid

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    • What if she makes out with you but doesn't make love to you?

    • Week buddy she didn't ask your whether your would date her or not.
      Read her question again

  • No. That's a horrible rule. If you want a guy to make you those lifelong promises before Homer Simpson's favorite fictional character, you better expect some affection.

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  • If U meet a guy that is willing to wait until your wedding day to kiss U, he is not a man worthy of marrying U... The man U fall in love with, U will not be able to resist kissing him.

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  • Uh I am doing the same too , so do what you wanna do don't ask for people opinion about it

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  • Cool idea, especially your future husband would think that is cool (or I would at least) I doubt you would ever be able to keep your first kiss 'till then but try it!

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  • Yes. For religious people out there. It's good rule.

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  • You do what your want. You'll probably have to marry someone incredibly religious for them and you to be able to keep a healthy-ish relationship until marriage without even kissing.

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  • No it's hard to have a baby from just kissing someone.

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  • I can promise you right now unless you do one of those arranged marriages things that really only exist in under developed worlds you are never going to get married if you won't kiss the guy you're dating.

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What Girls Said 17

  • No, it's just not good logic. People kiss to exchange saliva that will tell them whether or not their partner has a different and healthy immune system from their own.

    So do you really want to risk giving your kids a cruddy immune system or having to kiss someone you can't stand the taste of for the rest of your life? I know I don't.

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    • "People kiss to exchange saliva that will tell them whether or not their partner has a different and healthy immune system from their own."

      WHAT? That's not why I kiss lol. Interesting view point.

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    • lol, I respect your opinion. I disagree though. And the key word you used there was "theory"

    • @GingerGuy Let me just pencil it in next the big bang THEORY and the THEORY of general relativity.

  • Uhh no..

    media1.giphy.com/media/YCKm9vSmCKJ4A/200_s.gif

    i mean what if he kisses like thiS. But it's totally up to you

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  • You ve been watching a lot of cinderella movies haven t you?
    Wait to get disappointed... giving smthng way too much importance is stupid and naive.

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    • no i have been witnessing a lot of single moms with 7 different deadbeat baby daddies lately.

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    • I made it very clear in my description that I view marriage as a sacred union.

    • No need to be snappy jeez...
      I just think people get married to secure themselves before giving in... so a way to protect themselves and have the reassurance that the person won t leave if things ever screw up.
      So with that you have laws that protect you and give you rights and obligations...
      It has more. to do with that than spiritual whatso

  • The problem with that is right here https://youtu.be/U-SRcCGsBbc

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  • Nope.

    How will you know if you have good chemistry. You don't want to find out on your wedding day there is no chemistry and little attraction. Your marriage would end swiftly.

    No sex before marriage, go for it if you are very religious.

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  • Its usually acceptable to wait for sex because of religion and it can be a big choice or risk but kissing is more trivial, you're not losing anything by kissing a guy.

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  • Nowadays that don't work anymore. If you think you can go through that? good luck. The best gift you can give to your future husband is the conviction he will be your first and last, loyalty! You will always love him no matter what. Other than that? A kiss is only the first step to find who that will be.

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  • That doesn't sound good to me.

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  • So serious.. but it's just a kiss anyway. Don't read too much into it.

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  • I have the same view but then sometimes i think, "Is it taking it too far?"

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  • If it's that important to you, you can't try to compromise maybe. I don't see it as something that big but it seems it holds a lot of significance to you. Maybe forehead or cheek or hand kisses or something? In less you mean no kissing at all

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  • I can understand the "no sex rule", but this rule I don't.

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  • I think it's way beyond ridiculous but it's your body and your choice.

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  • You're just like me.

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  • I personally did not like you see your kiss an award.
    You do not have to do anything for anyone. But sometimes kissing someone is a way of communication you know?

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  • Why would you do that? Live for the moment, a kiss is just a kiss, you can't go into your very first marriage without having kissed that person! Save yourself in another way, it's not such a big deal.

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  • If you really like someone and you are in a relationship with them or are seriously dating them, trying to keep yourself from kissing them for a long time is really really difficult if not impossible...

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