The man you love who associates money with love. Is this solution unresonable: ?

The man i fell for by January 12 of this year and continued to admire, assiciates love and money. He makes good money and tells me he's a gentleman and likes to "court" women. However while saying this he completely contradicts himself because he reverts back to thinking i and everyother women only want his money. I want to show this man that i love him. (Not his fcking money) its honestly sad to see him do this. Now if i go through and decide to continue to date him and form a stronger relationship with him. I will not allow him to buy me anything. I will pay my own rent, by half of the groceries and utilities, buy all my own clothes etc. and always go dutch. Im not doing this to prove im stubborn or highheld or anything. I genuinly feel bad that money and previous women have lead him to live like this. Always half empty, never fully believing he's actually loved. And honestly, it angers me to the point i dont know if ill ever let him court me. If he wants to do something nice on holidays thats his choice i dont care. I just wish he didn't have this set view of things. I want to give him all the love i have, and develop a deeper more grounded relationship. Not rush into things but go with the flow and get to know eachother. But my mind just can't do tht with this shadow of his money. I just refuse to fall to this and won't ever live with him if i dont pay my own way. Im doing this because i love him. Are my contingencies reasonable? Will he warm up to it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • People express their love in different ways. If you are not open to receiving from him this might make him feel like you don't like him. I would pay for all your own bills like you say but be open to gifts. Let him pay for a meal every now and then. But also pay for him sometimes and buy him gifts, thoughtful things, out of the blue, even if you can't afford anything expensive. He will most likely appreciate this and probably hasn't had women do this for him in the past.

    • I agree I like receiving gifts from my partner and thoughtful expressions. However, I give love by sharing and caring and spending quality time. I love the intimacy in spending time together. But you have to learn to love him, how he wants to or else it would seem like you do not

What Guys Said 1

  • You say you love him, but all he uses to show love is money/gifts so you must just love his money... You say you don't, but that's what he's serving up...

    • Actually contrary to your undeveloped assumption, he hasn't spent a dime on me. and thats how i think it needs to be. Sure, its an odd relationship. but i think its a necessary and Will ultimately help solidify eachothers trust and genuine love in the long run. I just have to wonder what the downfalls or weaknesses of this strategy might be. All in all. I think its the best thing for both.

    • Show All
    • The question wasn't directed at the details but a solution to the problem. I dont need to prove to you i love him I've got fifty pages of things i love about him. if you wanted to waste my time disclosing all of my subtle likings and humour i wouldn't do it on the internet, its just special to keep somethings in the mind i think. Sure its a bit selfish maybe to him aswell but i just need to be open with him about my feelings so he doesn't feel so emotionally disconnected eventually. I don't know LDR are just hard.. wish i could look em in the eyes and show him. Talk etc. Wanted to wait to do that and make it extra special but i think ill hav to sooner then later in a different way

    • Thats my point. Inlove the damaged dude. I hate the money side of him. How do i get last that?

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!