I feel so insecure that I am a virgin in college?

I am 20 years old and it just seems like guys only want the girls who are "easy" to get in bed and thats just not me. I want to have sex, but when I feel like the time is right and not just with a random person. I want to have sex a couple months into a relationship when I feel comfortable with that perosn and he respects me. I've been burned by all of the guys that have showed interest in me because they wanted to sleep with me so early. I am scared that I will be like 25 and never have had sex and that scares me because I dont want to wait til marriage or anything like that. I dont want a guy to think that is weird because in your ate 20s I would conisder that to be weird. I am a very confident girl and im really outgoing, so it doesn't usually bother me, but its just because a lot of people expect you to already be experienced in that area and i just am not. Any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are men out there asking that same exact question, wanting exactly what you want. Wait until you find the right one.

    If it's any consolation, I respected my girlfriend at the time more because she was a virgin. I have nothing against women who aren't. However, wanting to wait for the right person speaks volumes to your character.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry about it. Wait until you find someone and if they're the right person, they won't care.
    I was a virgin until 20, and if I hadn't met my boyfriend, I probably still would be a virgin.
    there's nothing wrong with it. There are also more virgins in college than you think.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Good on you. Hold on to your core values. Waiting to share your first experience of sex with the right guy is so important it will have a huge bearing on the rest of your sex life. Give you confidence and make it all that more enjoyable.

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  • Well, relationships are mutually established when both people see it as beneficial, because they both want to be in a relationship. (Both parties are attracted to one another and don't think the other party is incompatible with them).

    You have to get to know people, establish a relationship, then have sex when it seems like the reasonable thing to do. No one is hurrying you, it's not a competition.

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  • Don't worry at all, your my kind of girl for sure!
    I love it when a girl waits for the right person, i am waiting for the right girl for the same reasons. Not having had many partners in bed is a plus for me and plenty of other guys like me.

    So don't worry, the guys that want you to be easy are only out for the sex anyway. Guys that genuinely care about you won't see this as a problem at all!

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  • I am also twenty and I've yet to have my first kiss, much less sex (although I'm currently in a long-distance relationship).

    Don't sweat it. You're like me, you'd rather give your virginity to someone you've gotten to know and care about as opposed to just throwing it away on someone you feel nothing for.

    Don't let your own pressure (and the pressure others might put on you) get to you. You know what you want. Just do what feels right to YOU.

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  • There is nothing to feel insecure about the fact that you are a virgin

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  • Honey, you're fine. You're far far away from being the only virgin in college. And there's nothing wrong with virginity at all.

    Our age group is generally like this, it puts a lot of emphasis on sex. People change as they grow and mature a bit more.

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  • omg i love confident, outgoing girls

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  • Don't waste another minute of your time worrying about it. You should have sex when you are ready, with a guy you feel comfortable with. That's that. The fact that you are committed to this and have the conviction to see it through is very attractive and dare I say... even sexy. Someone out there is a lucky guy.

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  • just have sex w/ a nice guy who hits on you. get it over with. it could turn out nice, bad, better than expected... you'll never know until it happens.

    there is no right time. if you dont want to be a 25 y/o virgin, then make that happen.

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  • Don't feel bad or insecure.
    It's not big deal actually.
    Why don't you just satisfy yourself.
    It'll decrease the urge.
    Don't indulge in sex because you are insecure. Do it because it's happening.

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  • You're absolutely right in holding out for a man who treats you well. When the right one comes along, he won't hold your lack of experience against you.

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  • You be you. I think you are making the right choice and admire you for it. You are awesome.

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  • Be yourself and you'll find someone.

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  • I'm sure plenty of guys will be patient enough. I mean college is known for hooking up and casual sex but trust me you don't have much to worry about.

    Male virgins have it way worse.

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What Girls Said 6

  • All the feelings you have are totally normal but it's still better than having regrets over the first person you do it with. Don't worry, it'll happen when your ready. The right guy will want to wait till you are ready too.

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  • Maybe your better off with an older man

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  • I dont think its weird. Your just slow on

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  • I'm similar to you but shy... Maybe go out with a shy guy since they usually take things slow

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  • It's not that weird, it's totally okey to wait the right person.
    You are making the right choice..

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  • I'm 21 and a virgin. I know how you feel as a feel the same!! I asked a similar question on here and the positive replies have made me feel better, more confident and proud even. Hope the same will happen for you with this question. Never the less, I'm still going to look for that right person and hope he comes along soon!

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