Is 10 years too much of a difference?

I am 16 and there is a guy that is a little less than 10 years older than me that is really interested in me. He is freakin' adorable. My family doesn't quite approve. What should I do?

Thanks ahead of time!

Updates:
To be clear, he thought I was at least 18. And he is a guy that my mom's best friend trusts a ton. Does that make a difference? And also, my intent is not to date him quite yet.
And he technically is 9 years older than me. I rounded up. LOL

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wait until you're of legal age. Other than that I don't think it's too much of an age difference

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    • I think maybe I should have clarified that no dating is going on or will be going on at this point. We just find each other attractive.

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    • @raio81597 Thanks! <3

    • You're welcome sweetie, stay safe and take care. <3

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not against the age gap, but I still consider waiting till you are like 19 or 20 wouldn't be a bad idea.

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    • Of course. I will most definitely wait.

What Guys Said 17

  • Yes, that age difference is a little too much indeed.

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  • Yes, it's a big difference, but it doesn't mean it won't work. A girl who studied with me started a relationship with a 27 year old man when she was 17. Four years have passed and they're still together.

    But at your age, he'll have to have more patient and be more understanding about some things, 10 years is a big difference, like I said.

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    • Oh, damn, I always forget the legal issues in some places. If it's not allowed where you live, you'd better wait.

    • Thanks. Yah, I know the legal issues. But there is nothing sexual going and and will never be. He is the type of guy with a 'Save Sex Till Marriage' mindset according to his twin and best friend. At this point, there is merely mutual attraction. Nothing more.

    • Even if there was sex, I think that a 16 year old person is perfectly able to consent and it's legal in most countries in the world at this age. However, if it's illegal there but there will be no sex, I see no problems, you can give it a try.

  • At your age, yes, it's a bit much. The older you get, that difference won't matter.

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  • I do not see anything wrong here.
    There could be a problem in that it is likely that each of you will have different expectations of a relationship.
    He is around an age when he will probably be thinking about looking for a wife, rather than a girlfriend.
    You are at an age when girls just want to have fun.

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  • At 36, its no big deal.
    16, different story. What kind of 26 year old man would want a 16 year old girl is the big problem here.

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    • I look at least 18, so he became interested in my when he didn't know my age yet. Then I should probably wait.

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    • the kinda of man that is a pedo.

    • @Syturio Except for the fact that he has the 'Save Sex Till Marriage' mindset according to his twin and best friend. I know that that doesn't mean he isn't a pedo... I am not as naive as people think I am.

  • it's not the difference in years that matters, it's the ratio of how much life one has lived to the other.

    16 and 26 isn't remotely close. of course there's exceptions to everything, but in typical, bad idea.

    the problem is most of us like to think of ourselves as being atypical, the exceptions.. special. unfortunately, most of us are typical, and are subjected to averages.

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  • I've heard there's a rule of 7

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  • At 16 yeah. You're a kid. Try to be one for the next few years... Once you're about 20 I'd say 10 years is more common than you'd think...

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    • I think maybe I should have clarified that no dating is going on or will be going on at this point. We just find each other attractive. Maybe my question should have been, "Is it okay that I find him attractive and vice versa?"

    • Well girls always tend to find older men attractive. Teenage girls droll over male models, musicians, and movie stars that are 10-20 years older than them all the time.

    • Well, I certainly wouldn't say that I drool over him. LOL. But thanks!

  • LOL He is 26 and you 16... he is definitly a pedo, manipulating you... you are just too naive to realize

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    • According to his twin and best friend, he has the 'Save Sex Till Marriage' mindset. But I know that it doesn't mean that he isn't a pedo. I am not as naive as people think. I have been through much more than people realize; emotionally abusive and bipolar parents, depression, a brother dying in the military, etc. Please do not judge me because you do not know my life situation. But thank you for your opinion anyway.

  • This is illegal and he is obviously a creep. Don't think that a pretty cover means that its a good book.

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    • Illegal? We are not dating or doing anything sexual. I think you are misunderstanding the whole thing... but thanks for your opinion.

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    • Yeah... I ain't judgin'!

    • Good, thanks. People have been making some pretty harsh snap-judgements on here. I am not as naive as people think--I am being EXTREMELY careful. <3

  • for a teen yes!

    26 and 36 not so bad

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    • Okay. Thanks! But to be clear, he thought I was 18 when he became interested.

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    • most 16 yr olds have had sex and smoked weed where i m from.

      some have even done it at 13.

    • Yah... where I am, people don't have sex until they are married. And nobody here smokes weed either.

  • Well if you live in the United States its seen as pedophilia, and he can get prison time for having sexual relations with you... sooo yes?

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    • Yah, no sexual relations at all. He is the type of guy with the 'No Sex Until Marriage' mindset according to his twin and best friend. I am not even considering dating him for at least another year and he knows that. Just mutual attraction... NOTHING FURTHER.

  • no , 10 years is not a big difference if you find each other attractive

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    • Thanks. He hasn't asked me to date him yet. I don't think anyone understands that... But yah, we find each other attractive.

  • a little.

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    • I think maybe I should have clarified that no dating is going on or will be going on at this point. We just find each other attractive.

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    • Okay, thanks!

    • no problem.

  • If the age of consent in your state is at least 16, then it is 100% legal, the law wouldn't be able to do anything to stop you and him. The only thing you need to worry about is your family's opinion

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  • Usually no, but as you are under aged and he is at legal age then eah it is too much... sorry i know it sounds judgy but i just mean from a legal point of view its a bad idea

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    • I completely get the legal point of view. LOL. But, I think maybe I should have clarified that no dating is going on or will be going on at this point. We just find each other attractive.

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    • Thanks hah, good luck :)

    • Thanks!

What Girls Said 19

  • The reason your parents don't agree is because you're underage. He's had more life experience than you. He's more exposed to more grown up topics than you and therefore could be more harmful or try to manipulate you. He understands your mindset but you won't until you get to that age. Since I don't know your situation I don't want to tell you to just stop talking to him but I do believe you should be very careful. Men who date underage girls usually want to get in their pants and know how to do so

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    • Thanks. He is actually a dude that my mom's best friend knows very well and trusts. So, I highly doubt that he would be harmful or manipulative. But then again, I don't want to be too naive.

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    • I have absolutely no intent of doing anything sexual. Neither does he. He is the type of guy with the 'save sex for marriage' mindset, according to his twin sister and his best friend.

    • Aww that's nice

  • You should wait until you're at least 18.

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  • I personally think it is. Not to say that you are a little kid or something but why would someone that much older be interested in you and not someone more his age? I don't know the situation fully but from personal experience it's a lot of trouble. Just living life between the ages of 16-25 changes you a lot and your maturity levels differ a lot. If they don't however I'd be concerned, because say in 5 years when you're maturing and he's pretty much leveled you're going to be in completely different ball parks. So from a relationship point of view I would not recommend it. From a safety point of view I wouldn't either just because you don't know his intentions. Again, I don't know the full situation but please stay safe <3

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    • He was interested in my because he thought I was at least 18. And yes, I agree, our maturity level is probably quite different at this point. However, I have been through much more than the typical teen has been through--so I am not as immature as someone may think. I will stay safe. Thanks, love! <3

  • I'm a 45 year old women dating a 22 year old college student. Age is just a number.

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    • Very rare as the much oldwr lady

    • But you both are legal adults. She's still a kid in high school, and he's a grown ass man. One accidental fuck up and her parents could have him arrested or could kick her out of their home.

  • that's gross

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    • Thanks?

    • No that was a wake up call... Come to the light, see the mistake you are making. No offense but why on earth would a grown ass man show interest in you... you are a kid still... It is sick. You still have the brain of a child he no longer does...

    • Thanks for your honest opinion. <3

  • That is not right at all. He's an adult, you are a child.

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    • I think maybe I should have clarified that no dating is going on or will be going on at this point. We just find each other attractive.

  • Too much of an age gap for someone of your age.

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    • So it's not okay for me to be attracted to a guy 9 years older than me? Nothing else is going on and won't be going on for a LONG time.

    • That's fine, just wait until you're at least 20 before you let anything progress.

    • Of course. I don't want things to progress for a while and he knows and respects that.

  • yes guys usually that much older use girls around our age for sex then ignore us or say its not gonna work out after you gave the mf your virginity congratulations you played yourself heard the same story too many times dont do it dont trust him your family knows best

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    • He is the guy with the 'No Sex Until Marriage' mindset according to his twin and best friend. But thank you for your opinion. I will take it into consideration.

  • at your age yeah i think so, maybe wait till your legal but yeah i guess no problem with liking someone that age... everyone has a different preference..

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    • I just like him and he likes me. Nothing more for a long time.

  • You should wait until you're 18 and a legal adult.

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    • Thanks.

    • You're welcome, and even if there's nothing sexual happening it would still be best to wait. Accidents happen.

    • Yah... nothing sexual at all.

  • 10 years is a big difference when you're 16- he's an adult, you're a kid. You're in two completely different stages of life, and it's kind of fishy that he's actually showing an interest in you like that. It may seem thrilling thinking about being together with an older guy, but it's really not all that exciting or worth it. Maybe wait a few years if you like him that much, right now it's just too weird.

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    • He was showing interest in me 'like that' because he thought I was at least 18. But thanks!

  • I know that you're saying that you're just attracted but maybe think about why he's not with anyone his age. This guy is like 25? thats the late 20's he's old enough to be your teacher. I would've been more lenient with 18 at the most.

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  • Don't get caught. Because that's illegal. But also be careful because that far of an age distance does seem a bit sketchy to me.

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    • Don't get caught... doing what? He has the 'save sex till marriage' mindset according to his twin and best friend. No dating will be going on nor anything sexual.

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    • Thanks, that means a lot to me for you to say that. I feel like a lot of people are making snap-judgements of me. They have no idea what I have been through. <3

    • Yeah. No problem.

  • Yes.

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    • I think maybe I should have clarified that no dating is going on or will be going on at this point. We just find each other attractive.

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    • Thanks--you are very sweet. About revealing clothes and a ton of makeup, I feel that if you bring yourself down to that level... you will attract the wrong type of men.

    • I'm glad you know that

  • Your 16 you should wait till your of age

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    • I think that I should have clarified that there is nothing and won't be anything going on.

  • When you turn 17 you would be able to date him plus your parents can't tell you that you can't

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  • Yeah the dude is a freak and a pedophile.

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    • He is the type of guy with the 'No Sex Until Marriage' mindset according to his twin and best friend. But thank you for your opinion. I will seriously consider it.

    • Lol pedophile means pre teen. Under 10.

      16 is legal in most of the world including Canada.

      So much hate towards men... makes em wonder

  • Honestly wait till ur an adult

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    • I think maybe I should have clarified that no dating is going on or will be going on at this point. We just find each other attractive.

    • yeah... Lol thats actually pretty common younger women tend to like older men for maturity or common sense and 9 years is nothing. lol id say
      Go for it

  • Stick to guys your own age.

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    • I think maybe I should have clarified that no dating is going on or will be going on at this point. We just find each other attractive.

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