I met this woman back in Dec. of 2015 via an online dating site. Since then we have hit it off really well. Up to this day we're still not an official couple, by her decision. According to her she's still getting to know me and the farthest her and I have reached in the affection department is hold hands and that's because I always initiate that. So not even a kiss as of yet (Trust me I have tried!), going 4 months into this so called "getting to know me." Personally for me, 4 months of getting to know each other and seeing each other is sufficient time to at least know if you're an official couple, especially in our age range; I'm 33 and she's 34. Anyways from the beggining we told each other our past experiences; a big one being we're both divorced (So I thought). There has been some moments where she tends to act distant and flaky, she's a single full time mother with a demanding career in healthcare. So I fully understand that she may not be available for me at any given time. Which is okay with me because I'm a father as well and I know what it's like trying to balance out parenting time and personal relationship time. But there has been times where she doesn't even put an effort in wanting to spend time with me. As someone that likes someone would.
So I started to get curious and wondered about her divorce. Since you can easily pull up my divorce decree online with our local county clerks office, I decided to look hers up. What do I find? That she actually just filed for divorce Feb of this year, when she told me she was divorced. So she lied to me. Which can possibly explain why her and I have not moved forward to make it official. This is bothering because now I feel like I may be wasting my time and this is never going to go anywhere. How do I bring up the fact that I found out she lied
Most Helpful Girl
I'd bring it up to her. But really... do you want to be with someone that would drag you along like that under false pretenses?1
Most Helpful Guy
How you bring it up depends on whether you want to end this or give her a chance to explain herself. If you're intent on ending it, you can simply confront her with the truth since it was not wrong to look up this information. If you are not prepared to end it no matter what, you would need to have much more care about telling her if you tell her at all.
To her credit she didn't take advantage of you through her lie to have an affair with you when she could have. And this lie may not have been an attempt to deceive you so much as fear that you would disappear on her if you learned the truth. It was a very bad idea but has she given you any reason to think she was using you? She wouldn't bother with all this if she had no interest in this going somewhere after the divorce did finalize.1