My mom hates my boyfriend but I think her reasons are shallow. Any advice?

So I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and our relationship is great. I'm going to be 23 and he is 25. He's sweet and caring. He's funny. We get a long great. After I met him and things were going good he introduced his son to me. His son loves me and the biological mom is out of the picture. I have to say I love the little guy and he's a good kid. He is currently being diagnosed, my boyfriend has been told he has mild autism possibly. Out of all boyfriends this is the best one. He has his life together. His own car and a good job.
But then there's my mom. My mom hates my boyfriend because he has a kid and his kid is special needs. She also hates him because he doesn't go to college. He was in the army and now he's going into corrections. She also thinks he is below me because he's not going to college and he's an armed guard. She basically thinks his job is pathetic. She also doesn't like that I will gladly spend time with his son while my boyfriend is at work. She calls me his free day care. But I plan to build a life with my boyfriend so being a mom to his son is part of it. He also has asked my mom for my hand in marriage so that eventually he can propose. She told him yes and said we could use her wedding ring and reset it if we want. Then I came home that evening and she screamed at me saying I'm stupid if I marry him because I'll be living with a retard the rest of my life while my boyfriend goes out and does whatever. Which made no sense. She let it out that he wants to marry me and told me I better think long and hard before I marry him. She also said she won't come to the wedding because she would object to the marriage. She makes me feel guilty for wanting my own life with my boyfriend.
I find her reasons of not liking him to be shallow. I would understand if he was abusive or mean but he's far from that. It's putting a lot of stress on our relationship and she basically thinks I'm an idiot for being with him. Advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell her to eff off because flat out she's a bitch if you love him and his kid then go with your heart if your mom has a problem with him being a military then please give her a message from me and that is "if we didn't have the military guess what we would be a different damn countrie and be pushovers okay you damn brat" sorry for my outburst but my dad was a cav scout and i fully support our troops. And if she has a problem with him having a son then tell her to go screw herself because it happens and he sounds like a nice guy so try to keep him

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry but your mom has problems. You would like you and him have something good going, Don't let your mom ruin your relationship and future. There's nothing wrong with working corrections. Both my parents do and we have 2 houses, 4 cars, always food, clothes, enough tv's that we give them away, so many instruments, and my parents are also partially paying for an appartment for me and my sister to live closer to our colleges. My dad has a pension, meaning he's going to get money until he dies (job or not). These come from correction jobs. In 2 years my mom will have one and in 4 my dad will have another (we moved states and he started the same kind of job). There will always be prisons so there will always be jobs. Your boyfriend seems like he's on top of things for the most part and you're working on your part. Y'all can have a good combination going once you get to where you want to be.

    If you like him and his son enough to marry him, so it. Whither or not your mom comes is her own loss. She sounds a little 2 faced to act one way when he's around and completely different (and I mean completley) when he's not. If she had a problem and didn't want to say it while he was around she should have taken your feelings into account and said it calmly. Also shouldn't have offered her ring in support since she is obviously totally against it. That's real negative energy and her personality may keep you in a stressed life style of you follow what she says even when you know it's not actually going to "hurt" you in anyway. I could understand her reaction of he was abusive or rude or drastically out of it but from what it sounds like, he's not and her opinion is just that. An opinion.

    You know yourself best and you know what will bring you happiness in the long run.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You've been together for a year, you know he has a kid and you're okay with it, you seem to know what you are getting into if you get involved even further. I think while your mom obviously just wants you to make sure you aren't wasting your potential and making a mistake, you ALREADY KNOW what you are getting into and YOU ARE OKAY WITH IT.

    So I advise if you truly are as confident about your choice as it seems, you should stick with it firmly.

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  • The best thing you should do then is ignore your mother this one time.. as long as you think he is right for you then why worry what others think.. you are an adult and allowed to have your own opinions on a lot of things.. this call is yours to make not hers.. and if push comes to shove over it.. well then tell her about your feelings and that it is your choice.. if she still all huffy at you after that.. move out

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  • "My mom hates my boyfriend because he has a kid and his kid is special needs."

    She's right.

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  • Yes, I think these reasons are very shallow. I think you should talk to your boyfriend about it as well. :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • Stick to your choice your obviously fine with kids and already have a connection.. Plus whats not to love about kids? Why not commit if you love them both? Lol follow your own decisions your parents are being shallow. Ignore her pessimism and join the family. Just and be happy. .. good luck

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  • If you feel right and know you love him stay. Don't let us or your mom make this big decision, you make your own decision, you do what you want.

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  • Your mom seems like the only one with mental issues. I say go for it and be with him.

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  • elope. also, tell her to mind her own business. like, damn. she needs a hobby.

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  • Stay with him. That's my opinion.

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