Why does it seem like the guy has to do everything when it comes to dating?

It seems like guys have to do everything when it comes to dating. And all a girl has to do is show up. Now maybe it' was just the girls I've went on dates with but I had to do everything. From starting conversations. To asking questions just to get a one sided convo out of her. It seems like every time I go on a date I'm doing everything. I don't mind planing a date or paying for dinner or what not. I'm ok with that. My last date was the same me doing everything. So I ended it short. Maybe I've just picked some bad girls I don't know. It just seems like a guy has to do everything to get a girl while all she does is show up and open her legs. Not trying to be offensive. I'm 100% sure not every girl is like that. But why do guys have to do majority of the work when dating?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Interesting, I'm having the exact same experience, though I'm a girl. I start convos, I send the first message, I get one word answers and they don't ask questions.

    I have no idea why one person has to do so much work. I've been online dating for 4 months and have only been on 2 dates. Both guys said I was too nice. So I guess that's my problem?

    I'm not sure how long you've been trying, but keep trying. Maybe you will find a girl who is like me who puts in effort and tries.

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What Girls Said 7

  • It might be you seem more interested in her than she is to you or she might think that that is how dating works and it has nothing to do with you at all.

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  • Once you get her to the date it should t continue to be work. If you e pre-screened the girl first, hopefully you have something in common to talk about. If the conversation is strained or doesn't flow, then yeah, you're picking the wrong dates. But that happens to everyone sometimes. Just keep meeting girls but try to get some common ground before the actual date occurs.

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    • *shouldn't..

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    • @DaniJ so was that guy just on drugs or something?

    • Lol who knows XD

  • Stop dating bitches!

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  • Dude, shut the fuck up. No one is making you do anything. All you guys do on this site ever do is whine and cry about your experience with girls.

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  • I honestly don't like having the guy do everything. I like to get a little input on where the date will be, split the bill, ask about the guy's likes and dislikes, listening to some of their stories, etc. Maybe some girls like to stick to the old fashion routine of letting the guy do everything. But times have really changed. Have you tried not planning a date to see if the girl would? Could be worth a shot. Best of luck to you!

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  • Some theories:

    you've just had a lame few dates lately (it happens)

    you accept low interest from a potential candidate and keep trying to push it forward until she agrees to go out with you

    something you're doing or saying early on is alienating your dates - perhaps intimidating or angering them?

    you go into monologues when you're nervous or talk over/interrupt your date. a few times of this and she'll stop trying to talk

    you have nothing in common with your dates and bring up very specific/specialized things

    When she answers a question, you immediately ask another question. Try offering some personal info that ties into her answer to build rapport.

    If the only thing that interest you is her opening her legs, maybe you need a better screening process

    Just some starter ideas to maybe identify the problem...

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  • You most likely picked the wrong girl to go out with. If I'm interested in a guy I will show him and ask him question and try to keep the conversation going even though I consider myself as shy but at least I try...

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What Guys Said 5

  • Because tradition.
    It sucks!

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  • try doing the opposite of all that: embrace the awkward silence, let her qualify herself to you (i. e. ask you questions, etc.), stop paying for the date, etc. just focus on breathing and sitting with good posture / confidence / etc.

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  • It seems that wày because it *is* that way.

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  • It seems that way because it is that way. Some women contribute equally but that's the exception.

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  • Lol I guess that's a point. I think it should be a two way (or maybe a 3way) process.

    This take might help, if anything it explains the female pysche a little: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a26543-every-women-is-slutty-unveil-the-inner-dirty-girl-within

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