Is this even legal?

I'm very nearly 18 and lately I've been talking to this guy who's almost exactly 10 years older than me. We've been friends for a while but lately our conversations have gotten significantly flirtier. He's a really good guy and I like him quite a bit. Is 10 years too big of an age difference? I mean, my parents were almost 20 years apart but they were older when they met. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • At your age, eh... Not terrible. He is only 28. The older you get the better the difference gets. My wife was 17 when I met her, I was 23. The only issue I had was, I was done school and had a career, she still needed to finish high school and college and then get a career going. This sorta stalled out my plans as a adult as I waited for her to become established. I would not do that again. If I could do it over I would rather go after someone my age who also has a career going. This is obviously from the guy's perspective, but from your perspective you are actually better off. Since your would-be boyfriend is already done school and working he should be already established in a career/working and making good money by now. So from your perspective it is nice to have a boyfriend who is making money. The only real problem is timing for a family. If you want a career, basically you could be looking at another 10 years before you are ready to have babies. That puts him closer to 40. He may want a family very soon which may put a lot of pressure on you at a very young age and perhaps before you are ready. I know one step at a time, but it is something to ponder. Also, like I said, he should be working and have a career at 28. If he doesn't work, or has some bullshit part-time minimum wage job then like it or not, he is a loser and you should avoid him. He is hitting on you because the girls his age know he is a loser and won't date him, that is why he is hitting on the younger girls. Be careful! Love doesn't pay the bills!

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    • Nicely said.

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    • 3mo

      Hi, late update. Both of my parents really like him, which is super weird because my dad has a tendency to hate every one of my friends. But yeah, things are going well.

    • 3mo

      Good! Your dad probably hates the younger guys because he knows they are immature and only want to party and have sex. Glad to hear all is well!

Most Helpful Girl

  • The parents will weigh you down if you tell them and friends will either be indifferent or give fake smiles. Real friends will try to grasp it but will wonder why you find older men attractive. I constantly got the "why aren't you dating" because i made the decision (not) to tell any family until i was eighteen. I told close friends but mostly kept to myself. At 18 if family wouldn't except it and give me my privacy without jedgement id agree to disagree go on my way and leave. Follow my goals, life convictions, and sought out my boyfriend in the process.

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What Guys Said 20

  • it's not illegal to talk or flirt. and it depends on where you live whether or not a romantic relationship is legal or not.

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  • Yes, 10 years is a big difference but that's ok, if you are ok with it. However it seems like you are not 18 yet, so you can't consider having sex.

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  • When your 18, all that matters what you think. I dated a 17 y. o when I was 28. We never had sex nor would I have done. We kept it kinda quiet but her parents knew but they knew me forever too. I always respected her and her parents thoughts. We kinda pretended we were friend but some people knew. She was really an amazing girl. One of my best memories of a relationship.

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  • It depends on where you are. Where I live it would be legal, in many European countries it's legal, in most (or all) Southern American countries it's legal... it depends on the laws where you are.

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  • It's normally not socially acceptable, especially in the states, where I live, people are normally pretty relaxed about that sort of thing.

    It's legal, but just be ware that it might not always end as good as you hope.

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  • It is indeed legal. If you like him a lot then go for it. If it weirds you out then don't continue doing your thing. Choice is yours.

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  • I'm fairly certain the only illegal part is sex.

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  • If you're 18, then all systems are go. But there might be some differences in maturity level. But if you're wise for your age and he's a late bloomer, then it usually evens out pretty good.

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  • Just talking is very legal. Even sex is legal in most states.

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    • At those ages. Now is it right or wrong? Everybody has their own opinion on that.

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    • Live not love oops

    • Oh. I don't know about Canada. Why not google if it's legal?

  • He's a little bit too old for you unless he's VERY good for you.

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  • Age does not come between love and sex. There's no wrong with age difference. If you really flirt with him by your heart. Do it. Don't stop.

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  • the age gap doesn't matter at all, the only problem is that you are not 18 yet

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  • In some states 16 is the age of consent, you realize.

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  • Well, technically no.

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  • Well, 10 years would get him locked up if you're still 17. However, once your 18, it doesn't matter one bit legally. As far as whether it is right or wrong, I think it depends on the two individuals.

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  • wtf? there are a lot of cpuple who have even more age gap. Look at old greepy donald trump , he dates a young girl

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  • It's pretty fine. No problem. Depends upon how you handle the situation.

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  • 17 is legal in nearly every US state. Check your state and if it's legal, do what you want!

    by the way I was 25 when I met my 16 yo soon to be wife

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  • Imagine a 10 years older man humping you on a bed. Gets you pregnant. He runs away. You cry. Found a nice guy. He founds out. He finds another girl. You cry.

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  • as long as your both adults in the eyes of the law and you both consent i dont care and neither does anyone else, do what you want, but personally i think of it like this when he was 18, you were 8... we all agree an 18 year old dating an 8 year old is gross

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What Girls Said 9

  • Its legal depending on what state or country you are in. As for the age difference, the younger you are the more significant the gap is. For example, 20 and 30 can present itself with issues due to interests at those ages, but 50 and 60 are more likely to be at the similar stages in their lives and can have better agreeance on how they like to spend their time and how they act as individual adults.

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  • It depends on where you're located but in most places the age of consent is 18. I believe that in others it could be 17 or 16. Legal and "moral" are two completely different things. At some stages in life, age really doesn't matter. For instance, a 24 year old dating a 32 year old is no big deal. However, that 6 year age difference with a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Huge deal. This is because those people are at two different stages in life. A 19 year old is becoming an adult. A 13 year old has just entered puberty. Also, adult men want to do "adult" things. He may be more sexually advanced than his younger partner. Some adult men prey on younger girls because they can be a bit naïve. They are unfamiliar with the warning signs and can be easily manipulated. Things like this are really circumstantial. Once you hit the legal age of consent, it comes down to your maturity level and his intentions.

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  • I've dated a guy 16 years older.., he was young at heart. Sometimes I forgot how old he really was.

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  • You haven't given life a chance. You have a long time to go before you are ready to date an older guy. Too many fish in the sea. I have no idea why you would want to start your own emotional growth by hooking up with a guy 10 years older than you when you are so young.

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  • it's only a big difference if you think it's a big difference

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  • Different states have different laws on age. It might be legal.

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  • Do what makes YOU happy.

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  • Not really, if you're not having sex. The guy I'm talking to atm is 22 and I'm 18 almost 19. Since you're almost 18, it's not really a problem if you're not having sex yet... the only thing is, he's just going to have WAYY more life experience than you. Sooo?

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  • I see nothing wrong with it as long as both are legal consenting adults...

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