Are super smart guys attracted to average/not so smart girls?

I like this super smart and talented guy at my uni. (he makes it into dean's list every semester) and I was wondering if guys like him will be even remotely attracted to such an average girl like me.
Obviously if I got into the uni. (it's pretty competitve) I'm not exactly too "dumb"... but I do struggle academically... lol

I'm someone who has a strong sense of direction of what I want in life (carrer goals and passions), it's just that I am a lot slower than most people. I'd say I have a pretty structured life style and also have a good/warm personality.

What concerns me is that will someone with a 3.6+ GPA be attracted [seriously] to someone with a... well let's just say someone with a significantly lower GPA? They're the type who will probably have their life figured out after college (he's mostly likely going to law or med school right after graduation), while I will most likely be doing this and that before I can actually get into medical school (what I am aiming for...).

I just wonder if people like him will look down on me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It will depend entirely on the person. Personally I don't care if someone has an IQ of 180 or 80. It all depends on whether I like them or not. Having moderate intelligence is probably a plus for me, but it's far from being necessary.

    I'd guess that most guys won't care too much as long as you are capable of carrying on a decent conversation. That's the key. You have to be able to relate to the other person. That doesn't mean talking about quantum physics all the time. It means normal conversations.

    I'm guessing that you are putting too much importance on intelligence. You almost seem to put intelligent people on a pedestal. At the same time you are judging yourself as somehow lesser than them. They are no better than you, and you are no less than them. Have some more confidence in yourself. You said you have a strong sense of direction and a passion. A lot of people with 4.0 averages don't have that. If I were to pick more important traits, I'd pick the strong direction and passion over raw intelligence.

    If you are interested in the guy, go for it and do so with confidence, and as an equal.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • While it's true that people are often drawn to others who they consider to be "like them", you don't need be similar to him in every way. Find out about his interests/hobbies. What's important to him? If you find that you have things in common, talk about those things with him. Show off your skills in those areas. Personally, I think that a lower GPA would be a silly reason to deny someone a chance. I doubt that he would care one bit. You may not have a high GPA, but I can tell from what you've written that you are intelligent. Don't be too hard on yourself.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Do you want an honest answer, or the 'Politically Correct' answer for Millennials, where EVERYONE is a winner?
    Reality: Life is harsh, and that 'Feel-good' BS to make you feel like you are a valuable, important person is all BS.
    The REAL world is harsh and cruel, and pretty people have a lot of advantages. Men usually get paid more than women for the same work, and it is a ZERO-SUM GAME!! Someone wins, everyone else LOSES!! It's NATURE!! Survival of the Fittest!!
    Smart guys might like not so smart girls, as playthings, but not for a relationship. It's not me, it is REALITY!! Pick ANY 'attractive' person, and see who they are with. Their partner is either really attractive, really wealthy, or has some kind of connections!
    Personally, I hate that shallow, self-absorbed sht, but NATURE prevails! I am REALLY smart, I have a decent job, I care about people, and I have integrity. I'm not hot, just average, and single. I don't put up with phony BS like wanting a Rolex, or driving a Mercedes, or Lexus. Personally, I don't care if a person has a college degree, or is really smart, but rather how we get along, and if we can just talk, and have a good time, together.
    I don't think that anyone is 'stupid' or 'worthless', and I try to find what they are really good at!! Everyone has some kind of special gift!!

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  • 1. If a guy ( or anyone for that matter) thinks that your grades define your intelligence.. they're too stupid to be friends with. You dont need such people in your life.

    2. I used to be a topper in school and people always wondered how I got good grades when all I used to do was fool around in school. People used to ask me whether I feel stupid talking to someone with low grades. And you know what I used to tell them? I used to tell them that go shove up your grades up your ass.. they dont define you and my grades dont define me. I see you for the person you are within you and amongst others.. nothing else. My friends were the kind of people others considered "below average" but you know what? they were the kindest and most creative people I've ever met. Anyone with common sense would not judge you for your grades. Be honest, be interesting.. be open and he'll be happy to have you :)

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  • It really depends on what type of smart he is. If he is smart-instructive, then he may enjoy helping you learn. Smart-arrogant people just don't like other people and think that all of them are beneath them. Smart-insecure means that he wants dumb people around him so he can feel smarter.

    In summary, only smart-arrogant people really look down on people, since they consider everyone lower than them anyway.

    Also, I think you may be smarter than you believe you are. I know plenty of people who scored higher than me, but I'm better at my job than them.

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  • As others have said, being able to hold a conversation is the most important thing. He doesn't need his intellectual peer, but he does need someone with a functioning mind of her own or he'll get bored.

    Leonard and Penny on Big Bang Theory are the exception rather than the rule.

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  • Most guys will not care at all. It's who you are that will lighten up his interest in you.

    If you have a quirky personality or a good sense of humour, he'll like that about you, if you have a strong passion for self-expression through art of linguistics, he'll cling to that as a thing he likes about you.

    If he doesn't like you because of your IQ or GPA, then he's a dick and not worth the time.

    But generally, a guy will like a girl regardless of her IQ or GPA.

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  • Heyy I qualify as "super smart" here yayy!
    I like smart girls, but I'll just give it to you straight. Looks and personality match are wayyy more important. But I like smart girls ofc!

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  • If you can hold a conversation, that's what's important. He doesn't need a female alter-ego, he needs someone who can complete him. Someone who is strong in places he is not and who is weak where he is not.

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  • Some very smart people like to be with people significantly less intelligent than them because it makes them feel powerful or smart. I'd say that's not a healthy basis for a relationship, but it does happen. Generally extremely smart people like their partners to be at least above average in intelligence, even if they aren't on par.

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  • last time i checked, guys generally didn't ask their potential partners for their uni transcripts first before deciding on whether or not to date them. Not even your employer cares much about what your grades were in school. Like your employer though, your boyfriend will care about what you can do. Intelligence to me is not based on what your grades are on paper, or what school you went to. Intelligence to me is the application of knowledge to produce a positive outcome for yourself or the things/people around you. A lot of people are book smart, but the moment they come out of the college echo-chamber, they are clueless... and only really manage to do what everyone else has done, which is to find a 9 to 5 job that pays the bills and keeps a roof over their head. I like girls who are pursuing their passions... taking the knowledge they've learned and actually applying it in a way that produces real world benefit that they're proud of.

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  • Sure we are.

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  • I want to be able to have deep intellectual conversations. She doesn't have to be a brain surgeon or close to it, but I find stupidity to be a major turn off.

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  • Not really

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  • If he isn't shallow, and truly loves you, he won't are about your GPA, he might even help you. Go for it and put yourself out there, or if you are too shy, just ask if he can help go over notes or tutor you.

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  • It really depends on the guy.

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  • not really. usually super smart guys have high standards.

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  • It's not so much a matter of looking down on as being bored by. If a man has his head screwed on right he wants a woman who will be a true partner, who will be able to carry her share of the load and keep up.

    But intelligence is like any other desirable characteristic, it depends. If he undervalues himself or is insecure and you give his something he wants it might not matter.

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What Girls Said 5

  • If he actually looks down upon you for that, then he isn't someone you wanna be with. Most guys don't do that, I believe.

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  • what's his major?

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    • chem-premed/or prelaw

    • Show All
    • Well, psych B. S -premed. So not really a hardcore science major.

    • My brother is a computer science and physics double major. He only dates other STEM majors because he has more in common with them and can have intellectually stimulating conversations.

  • If he looks down on you, then I guess he is not that smart. The smart people that i know usually do not realize how intelligent they are. They are humble and tell that they are just hardworking. :)

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  • He most likely respects the effort you're putting in, while he sort of gets it for free. The only reason he'd dislike a less smart girl would be because she has to be able to have an intelligent conversation, but as long as you're smart enough for that you're fine.

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  • I've never heard of GPAs factoring into people's dating choices - male or female.

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    • Well GPA isn't my focused point here -it's just that perhaps he may be attracted to girls who have the same IQ level as him? Perhaps it's silly, but I have come across some guys who get turned off by not-so-smart girls. :/

    • Well, if that's the case, then you don't want him...

    • You're probably smarter than you believe. Guys like girls to take an interest in their interests because their his - not necessarily to be good at the same things.

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