Why does my heart race so hard whenever I even just see a picture of this girl?

Okay so there's this girl that I really fell for a while ago, and I feel really hard because the more and more she became uninterested, the more and more of a pathetic effort I tried to get her. I basically screwed myself over from the beginning, and I know that now. And I'm also done with the whole situation, I wish her the best and I want her out of my life, so I blocked her on everything that I had her added on.

But today I was looking at some old pictures of mine on Instagram, and I saw her username as one of the likes. For some reason I clicked it, I don't know why really. I just wanted to. But then I was able to see all of her recent photos, even tho it clearly has a button that says "Unblock", because I already have her blocked. But I can still see her photos and that kinda pisses me off. I don't want to see how her life is going, that's the whole reason I blocked her in the first place so that I didn't have the option to be a creep and keep checking up on her, because it's creepy and it was really making me more obsessed at the time and "checked up" on her like 3 or so times a day, it was getting ridiculous.

Well, I have panic attacks sometimes and whenever I noticed that I could see her photos, I started getting shaking and felt like my heart was racing. I wasn't exactly having a "panic attack", I know what those feel like. Trust me. But I just felt very uncomfortable and nauseous. Even whenever I see a picture one of my friend's posted and she's in it, it just gives me this really nauseating and feel shaky. I don't understand what the reason is, especially when I feel like I might actually throw up just from a picture. I have GAD and panic disorder I deal with daily, panic attacks only happen sometimes but I'm constantly anxious and have had anxiety to where it makes me feel sick, but everytime I see her face I feel that way. I don't even want to know what I would do if I saw her in person. I'd probably have a straight up panic attack.

Updates:
Also, I couldn't help but to look at a few pics. I couldn't exactly not, I wasn't expecting to be able to see them. And I've seen that she now has a new boyfriend I guess (another reason I blocked her, I didn't want to see it), and to my surprise I'm really not even mad about it. Her last boyfriend pissed me off, and didn't like me. He told her she wasn't allowed to hangout with me or the rest of our friends (all guys). But he liked some of them, but apparently he didn't like me.
But this new guy seems nice. He's in the military and I really respect military personnel. I don't know him and don't plan on it, but all I can hope is that he's a good guy and treats her right. Honestly seeing that made me feel a little better. Because all I really want is for her to be happy, and I don't even think I would have been able to provide that at this point. I'm terrible at relationships, and have issues I'm working on. I just really hope this new guy treats her right.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • aww sweety! I use to get like that too and same thing happen to me when I was younger only it was in person not online. I think the reason your body making you like that is because your nervous and you have strong feeling. I think you should let this one go she clearly not interested. Or you should have voice your feeling! Girls aren't mind readers ya know!

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    • Lol, I know that I should have voiced my feelings. There's been several times I could have, but they were all at the beginning of me knowing her, and I didn't really like her all that much at first. She was okay looking, but I wasn't really sure. I do that a lot with girls, and then they become uninterested because I wait so long and never make a move until it's already too late. But oh well, I'm not real worried about it. But I don't really have strong feelings for her anymore, I still miss her, but I don't really care anymore. It's a dead friendship and I've gotten over it for the most part, I know time heals. But I still feel that way if I see something of her, I guess I remember all the pathetic things I did for her and how desperate I was. I just facepalm at the things I did, it was pathetic because I was obsessed with getting her, even tho I even knew it was too late.

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    • Yeah I don't know haha, I've always done things like that. Maybe I just haven't found anyone that I truly like yet. I think the only reason that I liked this girl so much is that I became comfortable with her. I hungout with her everyday, usually just us 2 and we flirted a lot in the beginning and I thought it was fun. My other friends would make jokes about if we were fucking or dating, and she never got offended by it or anything and I thought it was funny. It was a really fun friendship at first, but then it just went downhill lol. But oh well, I'm sure I'll find someone in the future that I'm comfortable with again, who knows when that would be tho.

    • aww good luck old pal! lol

Most Helpful Guy

  • If this was your first crush, it will take a long time before you'll be able to see her pictures or hear her name without thinking about her

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    • I wouldn't say that she's my "first" crush, but I've never fallen for a girl before her. I've crushed on girls before, but it would last like 2 weeks and then I'd get bored and crush on another girl. Although I never talked to them, because I generally ignore girls I like. I'm really weird when it comes to things like that, I don't know why I just never like anything I can get. Even if they're attractive, it sucks.

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