I was dating this guy, our first date was amazing. We had plenty to talk about and I felt like we had a connection. We kissed after the date. We talked after that everyday on the phone and through text. We went on a couple of more dates. We had sex after 3 months, it wasn't planned, we were just hanging out, watching tv, and it happened. We cuddled after for a long time. I kinda felt like it was a mistake and i expressed that to him because i usually don't have sex outside of a relationship. He then told me his feelings that he liked me a lot, he listed my good qualities in detail, and said he could see himself in a relationship with me. And then we started talking about star wars. He called me after he left and came home. We talked for an hour or so. He texted me the day after, planned a date on Sunday which was Easter Sunday. Then on that day. He cancelled because he had a family thing. I understood that. He told me how sorry he was and it was really sincere. Then I texted him 2 days later, and he ignores me but is on social media. It has been a week now and still no reply from him. I don't even know what went wrong. My guy friends are saying he just got what he wanted. Which is ridiculous to me. Why put all this effort into someone, just to use them?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't know too many guys that would spend hours on a phone with a girl for weeks, just to have sex one time and leave. But you can't ignore signs. From the looks of it, he did what he felt he had to for sex. Treat it as such. Don't call, text or email him. You sent him a message. He got the message. If he doesn't respond *shrugs* oh well. You should be talking to other guys anyways1
Most Helpful Girl
Why put all this effort in just to use them? Because people are jerks, that's why.
Not trying to be mean, you did nothing wrong at all, this guy got what he wanted and now he's on to the next one.
I was in a relationship with a guy for a year and a half, and he used me the whole time. He said such sweet things to me, then he would be 'busy'. At first I thought he was actually busy, he came up with reasonable things to say to me to justify the time we spent apart.
Most weekends he was helping out family, going to family things, or was working. I thought nothing of it, as I wanted to be the loving, supporting, drama-free girlfriend.
I would rework my schedule so we could see each other on different days, I would drive (after my hour-long commute) another hour to see him, then an hour back home. I even moved closer to him so we could spend time together, because he always said if we lived closer we could spend more time with each other, and that he really wanted that.
He paid for our dates sometimes, and they weren't always cheap. He even had me plan out a trip and insisted I book a hotel room, only to bail.
As soon as I moved closer to him, he started ignoring me and being distant. I asked him several times if anything was wrong, and he said that things were fine he was just busy with family/work.
Well, one of my friends (luckily) asked me if he was still online (this is at the year and a half marker). I said no, we had met online but I noted he had deleted his profile a long time ago. Well, I had an inkling so I went onto the website and searched his username (with POF you don't need an account to search the username, so no I was not actively on the site at all. I had deleted my account when we agreed to see each other exclusively).
Boom, there he was!
He used me for sex, as a self-esteem booster, and I'm not sure what else. He had this illusion of a relationship that was never to be. He told me he wanted to live with me and that he really liked me and never felt this way about anyone before.
People suck! And I'm really sorry this happened to you. I still have no idea as to why people do this, other than perhaps they just need something you are willing to give. He got what he wanted and my ex got what he wanted as well.
The best thing you can do is move on. Write this guy off and never talk to him again.1