I don't get it? What makes a girl only good for sex/hoe vs girlfriend material?

I'm 21. I consider myself "girlfriend" material, as does almost everyone around me.. I'm not sure what the characteristics are but I'm selective sexually (I've only had 2 sex partners); When I like a guy, it's only him; I have a nice curvy body and a unique and attractive face and hair, I study psych at college at a well-acclaimed school, I am one of the nicest people you could meet, I'm funny, I'm street smart, artistic... But I don't know, I met this guy and basically all I am to him is a piece of ass, and i see these dumb memes online about "girlfriend vs a dudes side hoe" and now I feel like I'm the category of hoe, even though I don't carry myself that way or sleep around; yet, for him, I would do anything. I'm like in love with this guy and he just wants to play the game or maybe I'm just not girlfriend material?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 100% depends on the guy. For some guys being good in bed is it. For others it's like a how much stuff can you do for me kinda deal. For other guys simply not abandoning them will do. For other guys (like me unfortunately) there's absolutely nothing you can actively do to make yourself appear as relationship material and it's more just about whether or not he can get over his emotional hang ups about long term relationships. All dudes are different. But in my opinion no girl is girlfriend material. It's not an intrinsic property of a girl it's more about the exchange between you and him. What he desires and what you provide and vice versa. It's all a big game of trial and error

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    • Solid answer. Thank you

Most Helpful Girl

  • It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what he's looking for. It may be that he's not looking for any kind of girlfriend so all he sees anyone as is hookups. Or it's that you aren't a match for what he wants in a girlfriend. I'm sure there were guys you thought were hot but would not have wanted to date. It might be that way for him.

    Regardless of his reasons, if he doesn't have what you are looking for (interest in having a relationship with you) then you need to move on. There will be other people who will want you to be their girlfriend and whom you will be interested in as well. Don't waste your time bemoaning why one dude happens to not be the right fit for you.

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What Guys Said 13

  • It depends on the guy just as much -- if not more so -- aa it depends on the girl.

    I mean, some dudes are just gonna chase random tail most of their lives. It doesn't matter if the girl is 'wholesome' or 'not-wholesome' -- these dudes will chase and treat it like a game regardless.

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  • a lot of you girls have this very weird view on sex. Like... you enjoy it just as much as guys do... we all know this... yet you act as if you're being cheated if its all he wants to do with you... as if you're going out of your way to do him a solid. He's only using you for sex if you are giving sex to him that you don't really want and he is aware of this. Other than that, you're both using each other equally for pleasure. Now, if you're looking for something more than sex, then you need to start communicating this. If he's not interested, then you simply move on to the next guy who is willing to give more. Not every guy/girl is going to want the same things as you at any given time... but simply having different wants doesn't mean that the person is acting like some sort of extortionist.. lol

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  • Some guys mainly want just sex. They may feel that way with any girl. The logic of that meme doesn't apply to us all. You also may just not be his preference.

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  • Talk to him about it and straighten things out so you know how things really are and will be moving forward. It's better to find out that he doesn't see you that way today than to live a long lie, I'll say.

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    • He said he doesn't want anything serious right now and hasn't ever felt that way about a girl before

    • Ouch. Sorry to hear that.

  • First of all, you have to start understanding men and the basic fact that men and women think differently. For example, how funny you are (by the way, very few women are funny, though many think they are) is irrelevant. The status of your school is also irrelevant.

    Unfortunately, we have had decades of political correctness, such that facts that were common knowledge to generations past are no longer.

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    • Okay but I am gorgeous and have a bomb pussy sooo...

  • Hot but able to be serious when necessary, wants children, doesn't spend her entire paycheck away all the time, wants to settle down eventually/soon = GF/wife material

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  • It has more to do with the guy and how he thinks rather than what you do/say/act. Either every girl is his hoe or no girl is his hoe.

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  • What's your social, petrological, economical and physical state that's what makes you girl to sleep or girls to keep. If you're great at all these, you're girlfriend. If you're only good at figure you're got sleeping.
    It can differs with guys and culture and country.

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  • girlfriend material is someone you can stand.
    Hoe material is someone who can stand against a wall.

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  • I am guessing he's 21 too. Well, basically almost every guy wants sex without commitment.

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  • Trust me we just know every guy was born with this knowledge

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  • I want a girl who is girlfriend material. I don't like hoes.

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  • just become more spiritual and modest looking i guess.

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    • and i dont mean fake it. originally. from the inside out.

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    • That's dumb

    • yup. definitely aren't.

What Girls Said 5

  • It depends on the guy really. A "hoe" to one guy is a housewife to another and vice versa.

    My advice is just to get over him and move on. Once someone decides they aren't into you, It's almost, you can even say pretty unlikely that they'll ever be into you.

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  • it has nothing to do with you, he just doesn't want anything serious so to him your just a pretty girl he wants to hook up with. i had a similar problem before but just moved on. there are plenty of other guys who are actually looking for something serious and will appreciate you for everything, not just your beauty.

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  • How other people treat you reflects on them not you.

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  • Your not hoe he just using your feelings to get sex.

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  • Reading this bothered me, here's why: you seem like an awesome person, but I think you should raise your standards. there's plenty of great guys out there that won't treat you like a piece of meat. There are guys on the lower end, these guys want but don't reciprocate. They just want to enjoy themselves, which doesn't make them bad people, they just dont want a relationship. Then there's one level higher on the scale, these guys want to have fun, but instead of giving you nothing, they give you fake compliments to do so. The third level is the guy that gives and receives and is genuine about his feelings toward you. Your guy is on the lower end of the scale. If you want a relationship either go find another guy or wait till this one is ready (which may take forever).

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