My girlfriend of a few years used to have a black boyfriend when she was in her mid teens. When her friend brought up the black guy size stereotype I told her that it was a myth according to scientific studies. She paused, smiled extra big at me and said "not in my experience" just to get to me. We were in our 20's and the kid wouldn't even have been full grown at his age!
Since then i've called her out on disrespectful actions. But today on tv she watched a race show and a celeb was saying how it's not a myth, they are more masculine too, sexier, etc... and my girlfriend watched it as I sat there and slept. But I heard it. So I sent her home bc the show was pure stupidity and I am judging her for watching it.
She has also played a song from an old movie that says how hot black guys are in front of me. It is bizarre to say the least
1. I feel like she believes these myths. How the heck do I be at ease as a white guy when I feel undermined and emasculated?
2. Did I do the right thing by sending her away?
Most Helpful Girl
Try this. "(Insert girlfriends name) and (insert friend name) keep bringing up the concept of how amazing black guys are, watching and listening to media about how much bigger and Sexier they are, too. When this keeps being brought up, I feel immasculated and like I'm not as good of a man as your ex was. I feel like you wish you were still with him. I really wish the two of you would stop and that you could reassure me that I'm enough of a man for you. "
Play with the words to suit you. The important parts:
1. Objectively describe what's happening without blaming her.
2. Say how it makes you feel.
3. Tell her what you want to happen to fix it.
If she doesn't make a response that you approve of, leave her.0
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Most Helpful Guy
well, first of all she's with you so that's nothing you should be worried about.
on the other hand she obviously doesn't care about how you feel about her actions/opinion/etc. she's disrespectful because of that. confront or ditch her. simple as that.2