I met this guy a few nights ago who's 10 years older than me. We hit it off and had a good time dancing so I asked for his number. The first thing he told me was "if we go any further I need you to know there's another little lady in my life." He sent me a picture of his one month old daughter and told me that the baby's mother cheated on him and she could never fix what they had because of it. Would you try to go forward with this and see what happens or walk away. That little girl you can already tell is wrapped around his finger but he doesn't really get along much with the mom.
- Walk Away60%(32)60%(62)Vote59%(30)
- Stay and See What Happens40%(21)40%(42)Vote41%(21)
Most Helpful Guy
You need to make the decision.
Do you feel comfortable dating a man 10 years older than you with a daughter?
Do you feel comfortable being a part of this child's life at some point in time? If you do, are you capable of loving this child as if she were your own?
Do you feel that it might be too much responsibility considering that you're still young?
Do you understand that the little girl might grow up with you being the female role model for her and you have to be a good example?
Consider these things I mentioned, if you feel comfortable with all of this then go for it. Otherwise, if you have doubts, just call it quits.1
Most Helpful Girl
It's good that he was very honest about it. But I personally believe you need to ask yourself these questions:
- Are YOU willing to have him and his daughter part of your life?
- Can you HANDLE dealing with somebody who already has a child?
-Are you mentally, emotionally and psychologically PREPARED for the RESPONSIBILITY that comes with dating him?
- What is your purpose for dating him in the first place? Are you looking for marriage? If not, I think you better really double check what you really want. Because once you become part of that girls life, she is going to be looking for you to be her mother and she is going to WANT you two to be MARRIED. And that is IF she likes you and ACCEPTS you, as she gets older and becomes a lot more aware. You need to also think about the psychological impact it will have on her and the guy in a lifetime. Just because she is only a month old, it doesn't mean she won't remember or it won't affect her.
Questions to Ask him if you can answer the ones above:
-What is your PURPOSE for dating? Is it for yourself?
-Are you looking for somebody to be your daughter's mother?
-What are your INTENSIONS if things get serious between us?
-Are you still interested in talking with your daughter's mother? Do you think you will ever?
-Are you READY to move on? [You don't want to get involved with someone who hasn't, even if he is still connected to the mother. As long as he has a child with her, that is for a lifetime unless she doesn't care..]
Think about this real hard. Because if you can't answer these questions, it is best to stay out of situations you personally cannot handle. If anything he needs to think about his daughter more then dating. Your children is above your wants, always. Those who date while raising a child often times have a hard time establishing a proper relationship with their children, especially when they are very young or baby and it's a girl. Daughters needs their fathers to be fathers, not a father or a dad for a few hours, and another person for the rest of the day or weekend.3
- Show AllShow Less