I met this guy a few nights ago who's 10 years older than me. We hit it off and had a good time dancing so I asked for his number. The first thing he told me was "if we go any further I need you to know there's another little lady in my life." He sent me a picture of his one month old daughter and told me that the baby's mother cheated on him and she could never fix what they had because of it. Would you try to go forward with this and see what happens or walk away. That little girl you can already tell is wrapped around his finger but he doesn't really get along much with the mom.
You need to make the decision. Do you feel comfortable dating a man 10 years older than you with a daughter? Do you feel comfortable being a part of this child's life at some point in time? If you do, are you capable of loving this child as if she were your own? Do you feel that it might be too much responsibility considering that you're still young? Do you understand that the little girl might grow up with you being the female role model for her and you have to be a good example?
Consider these things I mentioned, if you feel comfortable with all of this then go for it. Otherwise, if you have doubts, just call it quits.
It's good that he was very honest about it. But I personally believe you need to ask yourself these questions: - Are YOU willing to have him and his daughter part of your life? - Can you HANDLE dealing with somebody who already has a child? -Are you mentally, emotionally and psychologically PREPARED for the RESPONSIBILITY that comes with dating him? - What is your purpose for dating him in the first place? Are you looking for marriage? If not, I think you better really double check what you really want. Because once you become part of that girls life, she is going to be looking for you to be her mother and she is going to WANT you two to be MARRIED. And that is IF she likes you and ACCEPTS you, as she gets older and becomes a lot more aware. You need to also think about the psychological impact it will have on her and the guy in a lifetime. Just because she is only a month old, it doesn't mean she won't remember or it won't affect her.
Questions to Ask him if you can answer the ones above: -What is your PURPOSE for dating? Is it for yourself? -Are you looking for somebody to be your daughter's mother? -What are your INTENSIONS if things get serious between us? -Are you still interested in talking with your daughter's mother? Do you think you will ever? -Are you READY to move on? [You don't want to get involved with someone who hasn't, even if he is still connected to the mother. As long as he has a child with her, that is for a lifetime unless she doesn't care..]
Think about this real hard. Because if you can't answer these questions, it is best to stay out of situations you personally cannot handle. If anything he needs to think about his daughter more then dating. Your children is above your wants, always. Those who date while raising a child often times have a hard time establishing a proper relationship with their children, especially when they are very young or baby and it's a girl. Daughters needs their fathers to be fathers, not a father or a dad for a few hours, and another person for the rest of the day or weekend.
Too much drama and he too much baggage. Because they have a baby together his ex will always be in his life to some degree. No matter what, she will always hate you. There is a good chance when things cool down between them she will try to get him back. During all this you are stuck in the middle. Messy!
Surprised at how many guys just can't stand the competition from a baby. It sounds like the guy is nice and he is being honest with you. I bet he would make a wonderful dating friend and it could grow to much more.
If it was me finding a lady with a baby, I'd stick around to see how it develops. It may not work, but if it doesn't, it would most likely be because the two of us are not compatible, and not because of the baby.
It's certainly a scary situation to dive into. Probably yes. That kid isn't my responsibility and won't be for a long time, even if we hit it off. If that's clear though and they can handle their own shit then I don't personally have a problem. I'd get to see them grow through that exciting time so to me it sounds like an exciting relationship.
Hmm... it doesn't sound like a good idea to start dating him right soon, I feel like you should just be his friend for a while (like a year or so) to see how the dynamics between him and his ex and child play out. It could be fine or it could be a minefield :D
Honestly I would not want to date someone with a child regardless of what their relationship is like with the mother. A single parent usually means they've made poor choices in a mating partner but is also a reminder of at least one person they've slept with. I want to be married to a man who is my one and only and I want for us to have each other's children. I have no intention to be a step mother to someone when I don't have to. Luckily for me I'll be marrying my boyfriend and we'll have kids together.
He told you right away that means he doesn't want to lie to you and obviously cares. Because if he didn't then he would have not told you about the baby. You should definetly stay if you felt a connection with him. And yeah I see why the connection between him and the baby's mom cannot be fixed- because she cheated!
I'm not sure if I wanted to be with someone who breaks up and leaves the mother of his child because she cheated (if that's even true) after only one month after the child was born. It's one thing to leave someone but it's another thing to leave them if they have a child from you. Says a lot about his maturity and how he views his responsibility as a father.