How scary is it to fall in love after divorce?

How scary is it to fall in love after a 20 year marriage divorce? Sexless for years. What goes on in your head? How does it feel like to get that first gift like flowers or candy after having not getting one in years? Has anyone ever fought falling back in love with someone new and what made you decide to give love another chance? Have you ever gotten so scared you ran away? What fears do you have? What did the other person do to make you fall in love again? Or say start over?

  • Is it scary to fall in love again?
    67% (24)54% (20)60% (44)Vote
  • Or not?
    33% (12)46% (17)40% (29)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was in this situation, albeit my relationship was 11 years, not 20, but had been all but sexless for years.

    The first time I was intimate with someone after the relationship was over was incredible, I had forgotten what it was like to be desired physically like that.

    I didn’t resist love. My relationship had been dead in the water for some time, and I wanted what I knew I’d been missing out on for so long.

    What did my girlfriend do to make me fall in love with her? She was her. I can’t put it any better than that. She is the right person for me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Though I've never been married and never been in a relationship that long, my only thought of what it would be like for some people would be to be standing at the edge of a cliff. You need to jump across and there are only 2 possibilities. One is that you will fall to your death (the relationship not working out) or you jump across and land safely on the other side.

    I can't imagine anything like committing your life to someone and planning a life together for it to all just end. Divorce is never easy, and it doesn't get talked about nearly enough. But it is possible to love again! So many people have and will continue to flourish after divorce!

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What Guys Said 10

  • I was with my ex- for 17 years before we divorced. And now I've been re-married for 2+ years. I wasn't the least bit afraid of being in a relationship because, well, that's what I had missed during all those years of marriage. If I had wanted to stay lonely, I would've stayed married.

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  • IDC, I have no divorce experience. My son fell in love rapidly after his divorce.

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  • It's not scary. You just learn to take it slower.

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  • It hasn't happened to me, but my cousin's wife ditched him a year into marriage. He's engaged again, but he was very anxious about proposing because of what happened the last time. But this new girl is a million times better than the last. :-)

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  • Same way to greet the dawn, genesis of a new day full of promise and devoid of problems past and fulfillment of things denied for years.

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  • I've wondered the same thing

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  • Did your parents just had divorce?

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  • its very. avoid

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  • 16 years married. Lost everything. Tried dating for 6 years and it's been horrible. The new dating scene was shocking. It's been nothing but games and flakiness. Women seem super suspecious that I'm out to hurt someone or insincere, or just wanting to get laid. And of course having custody of my daughter somehow makes me undateable to most women. Online dating was a complete waste of my time and money. Women vanishing at the drop of a hat, or having compleatly misrepresented themselves, or after much chatting- don't actually want to go out.
    It just seems like a complete joke to everyone.
    I so miss the old days where you chatted a little, went on a date and had fun. Got to know each other and went from there. Now it's been no fun at all and after 6 years of it I give up. They show intrest at first but it turns quickly into a game. Guess I'm not what 'modern' women want.

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    • I found the exact opposite when I went back on the dating scene (although I had never dated much before my marriage). A number of women found my being a father to two girls to be a big bonus. For those women who had not had children, they saw it as a potential path for them to have an outlet for maternal energy. For those women who were already parents, we more easily understood the issues and challenges one another faced.

      With respect to women being suspicious -- I felt they should have been *more* suspicious -- meaning that I did not want to hurt anyone, and tried to set clear expectations, but I'm afraid I did hurt a few wonderful people. I apologized, but that seemed to be of little consolation.

      I wonder why my experience was so different from yours.

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What Girls Said 5

  • My boyfriend of two years has expressed marriage desires to me. Both of us were married for 3 years each to other people, both of us had never wanted to get married at all, and both of us had sworn off ever doing it again. I want to marry this man. Rather, I would say "yes" in a heartbeat if he wanted that, but I am just as happy staying a "GF". A hunk of metal and a scrap of legal paper does not define true love. Love takes time, real time and work. And sadly, yes, love can also fall apart if one of you changes.

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  • I think falling in love is always scary. It's a loss of control. On the other hand, it's a leap of faith.

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  • It must be scary!

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  • its like your first time over again

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