Are guys becoming less bold today when it comes to women?

I know so many guys who have never asked a girl out (myself included), and almost all of my friends are nice and funny guys, but they never go up and talk to girls in public. We will be sitting at a bar and see some hot girl, and we will sit around saying stuff like "That girl is hot" but then none of us go talk to her, we just sit there and drink beer and talk. I've noticed this quite a lot, most guys aren't willing to ask women out, and many of those that are do so only after the pieces are already laid out for them (as in the girl basically tells him she likes him, or the guys friends/girls friends try to set them up). Even really good looking guys who you would think would be more confident aren't willing to talk to women out of the blue, or ask them out. I know I am described as better looking than most guys and I just lack the social capacity to do this sort of thing. I can talk to a woman, but I just can't understand verbal or other cues. I dont know if she likes me, and I can't tell if she wants me to ask her out. And of course confidence isn't the issue, I think the issue is too much confidence, I am too full of pride to get rejected so I am not going to risk it, because then my self image gets ruined, and it gets awkward whenever I see the girl, plus I dont like taking risks because I could live a nice safe life or risk a bunch of failures, I choose the safe life, and I feel like a lot of other guys are the same way. What do you think? Are guys becoming less bold?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think men are less bold

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's very true. I pride myself on approaching and being bold although I'm shamed for it a lot on this website. It's just our generation. We are all using social media to communicate so much that we forgot how to actually communicate effectively in person face to face. The pussification in our generations men is also becoming absolutely absurd. I've read a lot of studies that were conveyed to the public some years ago about our water supply and all of our processed food leading to the plummet of testosterone levels. Our testosterone levels in comparison to our grandparents generation has dropped by tremendous amount.

    This radical feminist movement is getting to the point where women don't want to act like women and men are in the dust acting confused as fck. I live in southern california which is a very left winged area to live in. If you drive a truck you have a small dick.. if you own a gun you have a small dick. if you workout a lot you have a small dick. if you over aggressive you are a player.. if you bold in your beliefs on gender roles than you are a uneducated anti feminist. Men are being shamed for assuming any type of masculinity and as a result we are becoming little girls are we are scared to get these labels thrown on us. It's absolutely pathetic.

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    • On top of this girls on social media apps like instagram are becoming completely deluded. All of these thirsty men feed them compliments on social media and in return they become deluded and these thirsty guys are allowing that to happen. It gives women the ultimate power.

      I'm all for gender equality and my mother is an educated strong woman but she still acts like a woman and my father acts like a man. I love that women are in the work force and are earning degrees. It's when men start acting like feminine women and women start trying to act like they are men is when I have a problem with that. I don't want to live in a society like that.

      Men by nature are dominant.. protective.. and think more with logic and emotion. Women by nature are more emotional, nurturing, and submissive by nature. Sure there are exceptions but we can't deny our biologically wiring. It has been like this for thousands of years and I have no idea as to why we are trying to rig ourselves against it.

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    • @ElissaDido Lol what were you expecting?

    • I don't know haha some alpha stuff i guess

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think so there a lot of guys who are passive agressive to women online and offline. Street harassment is a pure example, guys being asses online as well. So I think its still there just not the type of bold your thinking of.

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    • But the quality of guys that approach you has probably declined yes? I guess I can't really ask you because you are only 18, but my imagining is that since a lot of guys aren't asking women out, a few players and trash guys just go around and ask all the girls who are waiting to be asked out, out. I've talked to girls that literally date a guy just because he asked her out, how desperate is that? didn't even care about who the guy was, just the fact that he asked her out was good enough, does that mean that inevitably sucky guys get more confident with asking girls out?

    • Well I guess that too but it also the creeps that make more women not want a guy to appoach them I know now a days most women are fed up with the street harassment so that could be put into play that you know women don't want to be appoached at all.

  • Maybe, deep down, it partly has to do with lack of interest.

    Who knows?
    Lucky me...

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What Guys Said 5

  • I think so. I have never asked a woman out either because when it goes wrong usually you nearly have to move to another city and start your life again. So I don't bother asking women out.

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    • There is a lot of women that reject men that have been polite, respectful and not creepy in anyway in the most evil, mean and nasty way they can. That is just not fair. You can't blame these men for giving up.

  • Your generation has relied on texting, IM, and social media to "talk" to women instead of summoning up the courage and testosterone to have actual conversations. This is the result and it is not a surprise.

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    • Your generation of men was much more masculine.

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    • Couldn't agree more.

    • Although I have to admit I use tinder which is a dating hookup up. It's the easiest way to possible get a good lay.

  • Maybe, but I am not sure either. Well I have never been the bold type of guy who can take charge and do the job of pursuing a woman, no that is something that I can never do, and I don't want to do that also. I just don't have that capacity and skill required to do that.

    I am not sure about other men though.

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  • I think so. I have confidence issues due to being overweight, but I rarely ask anyone out. I tried a few times when I was younger, but in the most pathetically beta way possible.

    When I turned 26, I decided I won't be single at my next birthday. So I'm forcing myself to become bolder toward women. I'm the past two months, I've cold-approached two women and asked them out (which is a lot, considering I don't go out much). The first rejected me (she was younger than I realized). The second had plans, but that she might be interested in a few weeks the next time we both work together.

    It doesn't take that much guts, you really just have to turn off your brain and go for it. Don't think about the outcome, just decide to do it and do it. Once you make that declaration to yourself, it's surprisingly easy to do. That doesn't mean you won't be trembling from head to toe in nervousness, but it does mean you'll be able to walk away with the self-respect of a man who isn't intimidated by a woman.

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  • Well things like harrassment might have something to with it, even though the persons not really even being harrassed.

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