Should I Stay and Help or Leave Him?

My boyfriend has been in the armed service for four years now and is getting out in a few months. He's been through a lot and feels like he needs to make up for lost time and live for those he's lost. But by doing that he plans on partying (he's going to college and I think most know how crazy college parties can get), drinking a lot and what not. He's a very self destructive person as it is and I'm afraid of what that lifestyle will do to him. Part of me wants to leave because I know all the stress it will put me through, I'll constantly worry if he's safe or okay, will that much alcohol mix with his meds, and I know he has zero sense of self preservation. He seems set on living like that. But another part wants to stay and try and get him out of it, stay and support him and show him there are other ways to live. Given even just thinking about leaving makes me start to cry because we have such a strong and unique bond and so many people have already given up on him, I dont want to be the tipping point that really pushes him over the edge. And I dont want him to come off as a bad guy, he isn't. He's a really amazing man with a heart of gold for those he loves, he just doesn't love himself. I really don't know what to do. Asking friends they of course get defensive of me, I need opinions from people who aren't attached. Thanks!


What Guys Said 1

  • Just let him know that you really care about him but if he keeps going down the path his going that you can't be together. Surely if he loves you back he will realize that and at the very least allow you to help him out. That being said if he doesn't change there isn't any point of dragging your life down with him just.


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