Why do some lesbians dress like men?

I have many gay and lesbian friends and believe everyone should be treated the same so I'm not looking to offend anyone but really am just curious. Please forgive my ignorance. In many lesbian relationships, one partner dresses, for lack of a better description, predominantly "male". A mans style haircut, men's style shirts, pants, shoes, etc. why?

Updates:
While I love everyone's opinions, I'd really like to get a lesbians reasoning. So please let me know. Anonymous answers are certainly welcome.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • In some lesbian relationships one partner does assume a 'male' or 'husband' role.

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    • But what does that have to do with fashion? In many traditional families/relationships, the woman takes a "leading" role.

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    • Maybe you should type your question into Google? I got a ton of hits when I just did it, since it seems you are looking for a very specific answer.

    • If that's the answer, I guess my real question is, why does one woman need to take on a masculine or male role if lesbians are attracted to women and not men?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have several lesbians in my family - there seems to be a generational difference somewhat on this.

    I understood it to be somewhat of an "identity" thing - my older decade older sister said she originally cut her hair shorter and in a certain style (in the late 80s) to try to meet more lesbians. It was sort of an outward sign of her inward personality.

    My cousin in her early 30s, who is a lesbian is very feminine, however. All of her girlfriends have had long hair, wore makeup, occasionally dresses. She herself is incredibly fashionable. So not all feminine lesbians like masculine lesbians. There are plenty of femme-femme and butch-butch relationships.

    Other women (and I've known straight ones too), may have a more "masculine" demeanor in general. They simply have similar tastes as do more men. Look at a straight guy like Mick Jagger - he clearly likes slightly more "feminine" attire. There's an overlap.

    The other thing is that men's clothes are usually more comfortable and built for utility. I have a lesbian and straight aunt (sisters) in their 50s and they raise horses together. They wear a lot of dungarees, flannel shirts, barn jackets, boots, etc. If you only met the lesbian one, people'd call her butch, right? But really, she's just practical, as is her straight sister. But the straight sister has had more societal pressure shake up her wardrobe to be "pretty" and "soft" to appeal to men.

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    • Thank you. With insight like this, why go anon?

    • I almost always go anon. I've had bad experiences with people harassing me through PM. Mostly on another site, but it was bad enough that I enjoy not having that available.

    • I hear you. Thanks for your input ❤️

What Guys Said 8

  • They don't have the pressure of appearing feminine and attractive to men. So loose and easy does it.

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  • Because they are trying too hard to shed "feminine gender roles".

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  • they're masculine. but not exactly males. being a male or female is actually in the brain. not in the sexual organs. maybe they're not attracted to males. but a female with some if the characters of males. it's hard to find a perfectly straight girl. you guys kisses your bffs and hugs them, sometimes bite their cheeks and stuff. you can never see a ierfect straight man do these with his Buddies. that's the difference.

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    • So let's say I do hug and kiss my other straight female friends, but we wear dresses, skirts, heels, etc.

    • I can't be sure. but maybe they want a person with the mindset of a girl and body of a man. that's why the dominant one change their sexuality. as there is a big difference between the mindset of men and women. only a lesbian can properly tell about this. I'm just guessing.

  • Well, think about it.

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  • they wanna be something there not
    don't over complicate, I have plenty of gay and lesbian friends and now that im older I don't believe half the crap that comes out there mouth lol

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    • What kind of crap? And is it because they're gay or lesbian or just a personality conflict?

    • when I was young all my gay and lesbian friends told that they never been with a girl or guy,
      come to find out later all my gay friends are having sex with girls but they deny it
      and all my lesbian friends have had sex with guys and they deny it too
      BUT GUESS WHAT PICTURES DON'T LIE, so here is what I learned about the gay community there huge liars,,, they don't really care they just wanna get there nut or for the ladies orgasm off,,, all they need too do is feel comfortable with the person, and not find them extremely ugly lol,,,, the LGBT movement is stupid, and makes no sense, and honestly if they really want to be together why tell anyone, just go off and live your life, but they like to make a scene out of everything, we can go over the sexualities also,,, lol its a giant joke now that I'm older and I see it more clearly

  • For the same reason some gay guys dress like women.

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    • Which is what? And it's certainly not as predominant. men dressing like women are called cross dressers (and may or may not even be gay) but lesbians dressing like men are called lesbians.

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    • We're just going round and round here. Thanks for your time.

    • yeah, might as well stop.

  • cause of being a faggot?

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  • They are lesbians does anything make sense anymore?

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What Girls Said 12

  • Well, so, like it or not, basically ALL women's clothing is psychologically "loaded" with... **something** that pertains to heterosexual relationships.
    You get me, right?

    Like, think of pretty much ANY article of clothing that's specifically women's, and, unless you are trying really hard to be "culturally neutral" (or are just really ignorant of cultural tropes, which YOU m'dear most certainly are not), a multitude of associations will spring to mind.
    Like, a loose flowy sundress from Free People might suggest, "Flirty! Tease! Innocent! Little heartbreaker!"

    I mean, ok, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, but, that's how it is.
    Even the women's clothing that ISN'T directly connoted with hetero relationships tends to be associated with... well... not being associated with hetero relationships. LOL (One of the internet's best-known fashion blogs is called "Man Repeller".)

    NB: These days, gym/workout clothes can SOMETIMES escape this cultural vortex -- just because they've gotten so universal (thank God!) -- and, indeed, there are lots of lesbians who walk around in (women's) workout clothes all the time, too.

    __

    Lesbians, being lesbians, tend to be well aware of these kinds of connotations. (Often, they're just WAY TOO aware of them, and could well stand to benefit from taking a chill-pill or two or ten, but that isn't the point of this conversation.)

    There's really just 3 ways to avoid the connotations:
    1) Don't leave the house.
    2) Wear workout clothes everywhere.
    3) Wear men's clothing.

    So, there's yr answer.

    As proof of what I'm saying about this, note that the lesbians you're describing don't wear just ANY men's clothing. no, they wear THE MOST NONDESCRIPT POSSIBLE men's clothing.
    • Nothing fits particularly well
    • Everything is VERY GENERIC -- if anything was stylin' enough to establish a "personal brand" then it might be, once again, misinterpreted
    • Nothing is body conscious
    Etc.

    So... there's yr answer. It's the only way to dress in a way that doesn't paint themselves with a whole shitload of incorrect connotations.

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    • But are women's clothing directed to heterosexual relationships or are they just celebrating the female form, which, I thought was part of the basis for being lesbian.

    • Well, those two things are in competition with each other, for sure. For the women yr asking about, the sexual/political connotations win out.

      For others, the "female form" stuff wins out -- and they won't dress like that. I know both "butch" and "femme" lesbians who wear traditionally female clothing; not all butch lesbians dress in stereotypically "male" clothes. (And even some of the ones who do, are still wearing girls' clothes! When yr talking about stuff from stores like Hot Topic, it's REALLY hard to tell which sex the denim is -- trust me, I have a teenager now. lol)

  • I don't what I am lol! But I am girly and dress like a guy! Why? because I am lazy and don't care what anyone thinks of me anymore!

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  • Ellen & Mercedes?

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  • As a bisexual with a preference for women, I have no idea. I've never been attracted to women like this. I find most of them gross, actually. Sure I have my lazy days, where I put my hair up in a bun, no makeup etc and my girlfriend is certainly free to do the same, but that's as far as it goes. The whole point of being with a woman, for both lesbians and men, is wanting that feminine energy and appreciating a woman's femininity. Soft touch, soft voice, soft smell, soft look etc. Otherwise I might as well just be with a man.

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    • Also to add on and to be fair, I think a lot of butch women are just tomboys.

    • Thank you! That's what I thought! If I were to be a lesbian, it would be for all the wonderfully feminine things we are so it puzzles me to know the motivations to appear masculine. And it's not just about being lazy on a given day, it's about making that concerted effort to appear mannish (if that's even a word, lol)

    • by the way, I'm not judging, just curious.

  • Some just feel more masculine and prefer clothes that aren't girly. My sister's SO is like that.

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  • I think part of it has to do with the fact that many of them don't feel the need to conform to gender expression and are comfortable dressing how they want to. And I also know a lot of lesbians that are attracted to masculine women, so that might be another reason.

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    • Thank you. Finally an answer I can wrap my head around. ❤️

    • No problem :) I have a few lesbian friends who are like this and they say that they don't think they're dressing like men. They're just being themselves.

  • Besides the mens haircut" my hair is long always has been" I think you just described most of my wardrobe.

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  • I think it comes down to establishing a dominabt and submissive role. The femme looking girls prefer to be more submissive so they're attracted to the more butch looking girls who tend to be more dominant and vice versa.

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  • Because that's what they're comfortable in.

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  • they are exploring the untapped gold of male fashion, someone has to am i right?

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  • Because they take on the role of being the more masculine one.

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    • Why does one woman need to take on a masculine role?

    • Even though they're both women, opposites still attract in terms of feminine & masculine energy. I suppose they'd feel like they're dating themselves otherwise.

  • Because they want to?

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