Why don't guys take an interest in me? They say I'm pretty but then stop talking to me?

So I'm 21 - I go online to dating websites. Guys tell me I'm beautiful or pretty or that they love my smile. I try to do the approaching as well if I find them attractive. I don't believe im boring when texting? I show interest in what they talk about. I'm patient when they don't text back. I don't double text when they dont text me. I meet some of the online guys in real life. They act like they really enjoy hanging out with me. They laugh, we talk, I try to keep it friendly and not flirt. After hanging out with them, they dont contact me again or they say they like me and disappear. I'm not understanding what im doing wrong? I dont look different from my picture? I dress clean, I wear makeup. I have a little acne but the makeup covers it up. I dont know what im doing wrong at all. I can be a little shy but I still talk. One guy invited me for drinks and he never confirmed or showed up. What can I do differently? Is it because of my race? Am I not pretty enough?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you certain to make sure they know you like them? Sometimes it seems like guys are expected to read minds. If they put in some effort, do you expect them to put in all the effort? Do you text them, call them, ask them out, etc? These could be part of it. It also could be they decided they wasn't interested even if you are pretty. Being pretty is very common, having a great heart and personality is rare.

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    • No I never double text. I never intiate text either because I did that once and the guy was annoyed and said he was busy. So I usually wait until they reach out to me. However, sometimes that takes 3-4 days at times. Then I take it as not interested.

    • Well that was that one guy and if he's that sensitive about it, you don't want anything to do with him anyway. Don't be afraid to flirt and stuff but it's fine to reach out to them too. Many guys will not initiate unless they're almost 100% sure you're interested.

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 9

  • no real chemistry.

    if y'all clicked, you'd be flirting.

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    • Okay but we flirt while texting and in person as well.
      Like im just not understanding. Im guessing they just lose interest fast.
      Maybe im boring or something.

    • its really difficult to tell because not all guys are the same and based on the information given.

  • Even I am not able to understand, it seems you are everything right.

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  • If U want a guy to take interest in U, flirting is usually a telltale sign that U are interested in him. U might be sending the "only friends" vibes at these guys when U actually hang out with them. If you're keeping it friendly, Ur making friends, not boyfriends if U catch my drift.

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  • My advice is to act natural. Be comfortable being yourself by yourself. The right guy will come along and if he does not, why don't you go get him?

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  • Oh really? Site me how you look? Hmmmm maybe cause texting in boring as fuck

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  • It's probably because you're interacting with guys that want sex and it a relationship

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  • because from their point a view your not "really" interested in them by not showing interest etc guys are not going to do everything, plus online dating gives some folks more opportunities to find the "one" maybe they are dating others

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  • Why aren't you flirting?

    Sounds to me like you're excessively paranoid about double texting. It actually annoys me when girls won't do it sometimes.

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    • I try to go for the cool approach when hanging out with a guy. I don't want them too think I'm too into them. Also, I tried texting and intimating a text to a guy before. He was busy and didn't text me back another 2 days. So I take it as not interested if a guy doesn't intiate a text to me.

    • If someone is not paying you much attention absolutely move on. But I'd suggest not making s big effort to hold back. Within reason you're not going to scare them off because you sent a few too many texts (note within reason). If they don't respond they just weren't that into you, it wasn't that you sent three texts too many.

      There's a balance but if I'm going on first dates with women and when is 'cool', then it's likely I'd stop seeing her. Checking to see that she's into me is a major early goal.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's actually not difficult to know why. You did nothing wrong. It's just because it's the world of online dating websites. The guys you have been talking to or even met in person are talking to and meeting so many people at the same time too. You are just one of them, and they don't feel like you are someone who clicked them that is why they didn't follow it up with you. It doesn't hurt for them because they can just swim back to the tank and fish again. They didn't do anything wrong either. It sounds like you are newbie to online dating websites that is why you are concerning that much. What you need is experience and most important thing, being confident. Stop blaming on yourself. Eventually things will work out. Good luck :)

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    • I feel like these are interviews. Haha. I'm terribly bad at interviews. I can't sell myself well. Yeah, I'm sure there are so many other girls they talk to as well. I guess online dating isn't really for me then. I'm not used to it and I don't really like being an option.

    • Haha yea, online dating platforms are not made for people take things too serious coz your expectations will eventually turned into ask. You can still use online platforms to look for some conversations, coz its a good place you can learn to sell yourself and communicate with others, but don't take things too serious and you may have unexpected outcome. Trust me.. haha

    • Ash not ask*

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