Was this text message too harsh to send, to a girl who isn't texting or replying to me contacting her? (Page 2)
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Eh you sounded a little aggressive and maybe could've worded it a little different. Me personally if I hadn't heard from either of them that long I would've just deleted their numbers. Everyone's busy until they don't wanna be busy.
True, I figured I give one final "fire alarm" attempt before I wrote them off. Some of these females users' opinions make it sound like I am going to hound these girls for weeks on end for not messaging back! What type of dudes have they been talking to? :-P
Nah, those kinda girls don't even deserve that dude. If they couldn't be straight up with you then why should you with them? It could've been worse, you could've called them out their name or whatever. I'm pretty sure girls do this to guys also, possibly calling them douchebags and fuckboys, but it's totally justified haha. I wouldn't worry about them.
I like initiating that aggressive direct, upfront #NoBullshit type of style only when I feel the person is being coy. I don't like ambiguity.
I'm starting to scare myself a bit because I sound JUST like my dad and grandfather, they are both very blunt direct #NoBullshit type of men as well. :-P
Like I said those kinda girls aren't worth your time man
I don't really understand what you expected to achieve. If someone doesn't text you back it means their not interested. You say you don't want to waste your time but that's exactly what your doing. No one is obligated to text or date you.
She could have been playing hard to get or maybe she was really busy, so what if she isn't interested?
Even if she did lose interest and wants to face away , a quick copy-and-paste message like what I sent isn't gonna make things any WORSE, so I see all pros and no cons with sending that message. ✌
I'm not accepting of passivity like that. No ambiguous "silent treatment" bullshit because she doesn't want to wear her big girl pants and say her feelings, so I will attempt to directly draw her feelings out with some direct blunt communication.
Why is it that a direct masculine style of speech is a turn off to women these days? Are women my age really that SCARED of talking about emotions that they just cower away in silence?
Actually yes we are scared because rejecting men directly often illicits aggression.
if they were "not interested" then why did they give him their number?
@AIAthefirst... and she has no answer. Guess she's stumped. :-P
Maybe she was interested and then lost interest. Maybe she met someone new.
I don't think it was disrespectful but it seems a little rude. It's all about the wording, not the message itself. Wanting to know if they're interested or not is reasonable, but the way you phrase it sounds like you are offended by them for no reason. I think it would be better to say something like "Hey, I haven't heard from you, are you still interested in getting to know me?" (or insert whatever in place of "getting to know") - then if they don't respond, you cross them off.
Well, put it this way...
If you checked out some merchandise at the store and decided not to buy it, but the clerk chased you down and yelled at you... Wouldn't that seem abrasive and unnecessary to you?
Exchanging digits isn't a legal contract...
Talk about trying to make an excuse for lack of manners! Is it that hard to say "i'm not interested anymore" instead of leaving someone hanging?
I agree with you, but two wrongs don't make a right.
Your text came off as being rude and disrespectful. If any of those girls liked you even a little bit, they probably don't anymore after that.
Sometimes you just have to be direct with these fools who think it's okay to play around in the dating world.
That's exactly what I did. Even if she did lose interest before I sent that message, nothing would change. If she was playing hard to get or i'm in a "tie" with another guy for her interest level, my finality message may spark her to give me more interest than the guy I am in the "tie" with.
I see nothing but pros, but some of these female opinions here don't see my vision.
I don't agree with the whole "playing hard to get". If you like the person, go for it and don't keep them wondering. At least you were straight forward and now you know which ones to forget about!
That exactly was the goal, I will forget about all except for those who reply back to my finality message (if any do at all).
I don't know about rude and disrespectful, but it definitely would have creeped me out. I either would have texted back ok, have a nice life. or continued to ignore you and if you ever texted again, blocked you.
How was my text "creepy"? I don't get it
you're not even officially dating and you're getting upset because they haven't responded in the past 3 days. people have lives. and possible responsibilites. what right do you have to freak out on them for not rushing to respond to everything you say. depending on what the texts were about they may have assumed no response was necessary. or perhaps while busy read the text, planned on responding later and just forgot, everyone does that. the more mature thing would have been to say hey, did you get my last text or simply ask what's going on
I said it was maybe it was the way you wrote it but you said you "noticed" and saying that makes me believe that you hadn't noticed that they hadn't responded until you looked through your phone So what's the big deal?
haha u think that when a guy gets a girl's number, that he is checking ALL DAY AND NIGHT to see if she responded? lol
the "big deal" is she is leaving me hanging by not responding, that's disrespectful to ANY guy's time, emotions and attention. If she isn't interested just say so, if she is shy she'll know to message SOMETHING, and if she is playing hard to get she is now signaled that shit isn't working and my interest is starting to fade.
No I don't but still I don't see what the problem is, would you feel disrespected if it was just one girl that blew you off? I just don't see how what you said makes what they do any better
I text them, they rarely text back if at all. I communicate. in an engaging personalized way (before the final message), they did not.
So in terms of communication and manners i AM better than them.
No I never said who was better I was saying them not responding is one thing that's yes I guess you could say it was rude because if they didn't wanna talk to you they shouldn't have given you there number but you saying what you said doesn't make what they did any better, now you'll are both wrong.
I don't mean don't speak your mind but there was a better way to communicate that you wanted the girls to respond quicker.
No one is obligated to text you back you're not in a relationship yet so you should take their lack of response as lack of interest.
Nothing wrong with making certain with a blanket text like that... she could have been playing "hard to get". She isn't obligated to text me back like u said, and I'm obligated to ponder what's going on so I took the direct approach.
Plus if her interest was already gone, it was just a copy and paste text anyway, and sending it won't change her interest level in me anyways.
Yes that is true
They're obviously not interested, move on. Simple as that.
I don't see the harm of one last "fire alarm" message in case she was playing hard to get or something, before moving on. Did u think I was going to hound her for weeks on ends for not texting back? :-P
Too many female users here assume that I would be sending her mean angry ass shit for weeks and months! Have you gals really been around guys that do that? :-/
I find that most people don't reply anymore if they're not interested. My mom gets that a lot, where people just disappear & she's upset about it. But I think it's ok, either way, to let someone know that they're not interested, or missy completely drop them. Unless, of course, they started monogamously dating each other. Some people don't know how to say goodbye without upsetting the other. I wasn't assuming you'd hound them lol. But yes, I have been hounded by every single person who's been interested in me. It's ok to an extent, but the people I've dealt with haven't given up. In fact, a month before my wedding, an ex (of a weekend long thing in high-school, & I graduated 7 years ago. We just had occasional sex 4 years ago a couple times) had asked if I'd be interested in getting together again. Then when I said no, he asked for pictures. I don't understand some people lol. I've been stalked multiple times, had multiple fake fb accounts made to contact me, & I'm not even that great!
I just learned to accept that they're trying to let you off easy by helping you forget about them. By not texting you. I understand why they do it.
You just got to take it for what it is.
I don't like open-ended stuff of "is she busy, bad at responding, or not interested"... so I sent the message to let her know that I am unsatisfactory about the status quo.
If you think about it... if she isn't interested anymore anyways, it isn't like me being so straight-up is going to make a difference if she isn't interested. BUT if she is busy or a bad replyer to messages, her reading that message will signal "I need to straighten up before he bails on me".
Thus I see nothing but pros in this situation via me sending that "fire alarm" message.
True. It's better to have closure for peace of mind I get it.
That's the PERFECT word (closure)! What is up with all these female users on GaG having a problem with me seeking closure?
They're embarrassed, scared, "don't want to deal with it."
Fuck them! Go after making money and enjoy yourself and if someone wants to be in your life they'll come around. Lots of women are pretty nowadays. They're everywhere you'll find someone you like eventually.
They're always looking for someone better if their current boyfriends makes a mistake or something like that.
Don't worry too much about it man. You have been worrying for it for years I've seen it.
"Worrying" about what for years? Women? You got the wrong GaGer, bro! :-D
no bro this is Prof_Don from before they changed the website rye?
Yup that's me, but I don't know what "worrying " you're talking about. :-P
These questions man. "why oh why"
you used to put pokemon pictures up.
(I thought that was cool btw)
I stopped doing that since the embedded chat was gone; the update statuses I would did with the Pokemon in chat (ex. Alakazam and I are kicking back watching Bad Girls Club) was part of the draw.
Sounds like u really liked my poke-phase!
It was rude, but not disrespectful.
I get the frustration, so I guess you just reacted in affect. It's always good to know where you stand. Definitely.
I think B because you could have worded it a lot more kinder but there was nothing disrespectful about it.
I voted B
You was a little rude because you was upset and didn't want to keep on wasting your time. But disrespectful NOT at all to be honest. Some people need that in their life.. lol!
Your text was rude but not disrespectful. I'm sure she got your text message she was probably just busy
It sounded angry. You could've worded it in a nicer way.
well you seem bit pissed off.. you could've handled it in a better way.. still not disrespectful.. but not good way of being ''direct''
You were being honest.
Supposedly I was being too direct and "needy" based on some of the female opinions here!
Good to hear a woman that can appreciate the direct #NoBullshit style of man. :)
Thanks :) blunt is best
Not according to some of these female answers!
Haha that's why we get a sensitive stereotype ;)
I don't think it was but I guess being considered a prospect can be seen as disrespectful
Sounds like your pissed because that's what I say when I'm pissed but I say more
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