Can guys change opinion?

I have been dating a guy, on our 4th date he mentioned not believing in marriage because people can end up cheating or betraying you. His ex had cheated on him. Do you guys think his past hurt him to think this way and do you think he can change his opinion with time or right person?

Updates:
Ps. After his ex, he said he dates a couple women but did not go over two dates because there was no connection.

I'm wondering if he is picking at my brain here and being cautious... I see it in his eyes and actions that he is still hurting and is taking it super slow, which is understandable. Four dates in 3 months... cautious right?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is clearly hurt. But everyone can change, and I think it is weird for him to be dating you if he doesn't 'believe in marriage.' He is probably saying this to see if you are willing to go the extra length to stay with him.

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    • How can I go about this? I kind of just brought up his si long who is married, I said, well How do you feel about their marriage since you have said you are happy for them. He gave me the answer that they were a Good match, had kids And married for benefit of work But that they conected well. So I said that everyone has the opportunity to Find a Good person And he agree But said it is tough. 😞

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    • Thanks that is Good to know... I definitely will show him little by little that I Am serious with relationships But give space And time for things... But like you said, I won't put My life On the line for him to decide if he does not want to be a part of mine at all.

    • Alright :) Glad I could help

What Guys Said 6

  • It's hard to say. It's highly unlikely but it's possible, yes. Yes, he is taking it very slow and he is being very cautious because he doesn't want another failure.

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  • I never wanted to get married, but I did. And then I got divorced. And then I *really* didn't want to get married again, but I did. And I'm glad I did.

    So yes, he may change his opinion.

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    • How did the first one convince you?

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    • ... and a few dates later I met a woman with whom I felt I could have a great r/ship, and who I felt had all the qualities I was looking for in a partner. From that point on, I didn't want to date anyone else. But I didn't want to get married either.

      We talked about it at length. Marriage was very important to her. I developed a three page list of reasons why I didn't want to get married. I could tell you that she rebutted each and every point, but that wouldn't be the whole truth. She contented herself to a life with me without marriage, although that wasn't her first choice. Then, at some point, she asked me to trust her. She promised me that she would redeem the institution of marriage in my eyes, that if I were to marry her that I would be happy and not regret my decision. In an act of love and faith, I did. She was right.

    • Wow! I guess the pros outweighed the cons right? Well thank goodness you are happily married. I guess I will just keep being myself and show him what I can bring to the table because I feel and see the connection between him and I. We laugh about the simplest things together and have 2hour conversations over coffee, we have similar values and morals. So I think he is someone I can see myself with (:

      Thank you for sharing! I really appreciate it and will keep your experience in mind on how to see possibilities for positive things.

  • There's no way to know. There's no reason to be bitter tho. Even if he doesn't believe in marriage, as long as you love each other, why would it matter what a piece of paper says?

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  • Nah we are not human like women.

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  • Only if you gave his heart a break

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  • He might be serious. After you really feel like you connect, Confront this guy and tell him to man up because you don't do that stuff. Your life is important too and every day counts.

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    • How can I bring it up?

What Girls Said 1

  • He can change probably if he finds the right person. Many times when a person is hurt and they are with other person they ut a barrier to themselves with the new person as they dont want to be hurt again but in that person feels that way so I ask myself why then date or hang out again if they feel he or she is going to be betrayed again, what is the point then if they have that kind of mentality, they better remain single and not even date then.

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    • Very true, I do not know why he continues this if he has that mentality. I don't know how to go about it.

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