Why am I crying over someone I don't even know?

This guy and I no longer talk to eachother. We both hurt eachother said goodbye. We met online. We talked for a month. A lot of texting and facetimed twice. I drove out to his state. He paid for all my food and cooked for me. He told me he liked me and wanted to get to know me better but then stated he was busy and disappeared for 3-4 days. I confronted him and we got into an argument. He ignored me for 2 weeks and then text me again. I apologized and he told me I need to work on myself. I asked him what he wanted. A friend? To get to know me genuinely? I was getting mixed signals. Told him I liked him and found him attractive. I waited all day for a reply, I told him its okay he doesn't have to answer. I dont need to know because I know the answer. Told him to please just delete my number. He attacked me again. We got into an argument. Told him instead of texting lets talk on the phone. The next day he texted weirdly. Stating he's sick in bed and we could talk in a couple of days. I got very angry and we argued. He attacked me, I said some rude things out of anger. Told him he hurt my feelings and I aplogized for the mean things I said. He never apologized for hurting my feelings at all. This is both of our fault. I have to work on my talking problems out skills, but I told him he kept stringing me along and he hurt my feelings. He just kept saying I was unhealthy. I held my ground because he made me think I was going crazy. We haven't talked in a week or so and probably never will. I visited his online profile and he updated new pictures with his family. He never showed me his family pictures when talking to me. I broke down crying. I miss him. How can I move on? I dont even know him that well but he was my dream guy. I want to apologize but I feel like I should not apologize because he hurt me really bad. I'm sure I hurt him too. However, he emotionally abused me. I just want to apologize so bad but in the back of my head I feel like I shouldn't.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you see the work that you need to do, which is very admirable. However, he is clearly avoiding responding and making the situation worse. As much as it might be tough, I believe you should not pursue it and let it go.

    • Would it still be okay to email him and apologize just for my actions? I dont expect a response and I'm going to tell him to not respond and just read the apology. I don't have his number anymore. I don't even know if he will read the email. I just feel as a person.. I need to apologize for my actions. We argued quite a lot for not knowing each other too well. He tried and I tried. It just didn't work. There will be no pursuing.

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    • Well I have just a quick question for you. When you read my scenario, you can see that I was wrong. Did you find any fault in his doing as well? Or was this all my fault? I tried to resolve this as much as I could. I patiently waited... I tried calling him twice.. but he didn't want to talk to me when I was acting "irrational" he stated. He never opened up to me or told me what he really wanted. I had a lot of doubt and wanted to protect myself and stood up for myself. But he always attacked me and told me I was not healthy in thinking. He was kind of controlling. I told him we wanted different things and I didn't want to be an option, but he just kept attacking me the whole time.

    • (I want to preface this by saying I am a believer in equality)

      It sounds to me like he has the mindset that he holds the right to control the relationship and that any argument that occurs is your fault. He wouldn't take blame or apologize at all, which tells me that he can't express a simple 'sorry' or acknowledge that he has a stake in the situation.
      I believe there was wrong on both sides. You have already apologized for the previous occurrences and you plan to do so again. I think you are coming out of this situation in the right, maturely.

Most Helpful Girl

  • ... probably because you feel rejected. Rejection can lower your self-esteem. It can make you feel unlovable , unwanted and worthless. So regardless of who rejects you , or how long you've know the person... you still feel the pain of rejection.

    If your conscience is telling you that you should apologise then say sorry to him, because that may be preventing you from moving on from him. Saying sorry may bring you the closure that you need.

    You both hurt each other. So you can only apologise for your behaviour. Whether you were justified in what you said or did... you did still hurt him too. So if you still care about him, and feel guilty , then just be bold and apologise. 😊

    • I'm trying so hard to move on. He was literally my dream guy and I can't believe we just didn't work out. I have feelings for him but I can see that it just won't work at all. He was keeping me as an option and I didn't like that. I emailed him an apology. I don't have his phone number anymore. So maybe he will read it or maybe not. I don't know if he checks his email often. I'm sure going to miss him though. He already updated his online profile with new pictures so I'm sure he's moved on and doesn't care at all.

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    • Thanks for the MHO


What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • i had this same problem but kinda different there was no fighting but i kinda just faded away... this was in December and mind you we have neve met but he texts me out of the blue in march asking if we could be something... so if you are wanting hope there is hope somewhere out there but... I don't know if you should be apologizing or not honestly thats up to you and if you think it will change things with him

    • Why shouldn't I apologize? I said some really mean things to him. I understand where you are coming from though. I just feel like I really need to apologize.. even if his intentions were bad or good. I'm still angry he hurt my feelings and didn't care one bit.

    • oh no im not saying dont apologize.

    • Oh okay. I sent him an apology letter. I dont intend to change things with him. Dont intend to talk to him anymore. Just wanted to say sorry for the things I said. World is bad enough already.

  • It wasn't you. It was me.. Im srry i did that to you. My life feels like its broken to pieces the last 24 hours. i know i always have an excuse, and i wanted to be there when you needed. But i wasn't. .. And im sorry.