Is it a girl code not to try for the guy whom your closest female friend likes?

Jusr curious about different opinions on the matter.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah I think it is but it is not as black and white as that - First look at the dynamic between him and her, if it is obvious that he does not have feelings for her and likes you more. If you like him then maybe ask her permission to pursue it but if you are both on a equal footing I am afraid it is whoever liked him first, don't cut across her, if she tries and is turned down politely (if he rejects or uses her badly, don't go there) then maybe think about giving it a go.
    Only applies for crushes, different dynamic with exes.

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What Guys Said 6

  • No it's not, I've had to put women out the door and or not let them in due to that. When I was in a committed relationship, I had one come over everyday of the week while my SO was in the hospital, dressed in a manner that was to attract attention, I just told her each time nope she's not here come back Friday, and everyday was same thing, then on Thursday she asked to come in, and I told her nope not appropriate for us to be in the house alone together. Women are highly competitive and when in a lonely or other state of mind the girl code goes out the window. Guys are not immune to doing this either.

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  • from all my observations and reading things on this site, women do not have a "true code". Like women do, they say one thing and do another. Women don't have friendships like men do. Women get so catty and jealous it is sickening.
    the "Bro code" is strong even between casual friends. You do not go after a women that your friend has "Called" without permission from that friend, period.
    That goes even if the friend dies. I once liked this women. My friend and I went on a double date with her and her friend. Me and her did not hit it off at all. she even faked falling asleep in the car ride home lol. he ended up getting laid by her friend. But he did hit it off with the women I was with. I told him "she is all yours". They ended up dating about 3 or 4 years. But had I said no, he never would have done it.

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    • "the "Bro code" is strong even between casual friends. You do not go after a women that your friend has "Called" without permission from that friend, period."
      ^^ I live by this code and expect those I consider friends to follow by it as well.

    • Women need to support their own kind and they usually don't #proven

  • Well... it depends on whether the guy likes her too! If so, better to stay away. If not, go for him! ;)

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    • Yes true. Just crush the friend if the guy likes me. Not worth it eh!!

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    • Haha, you corrected yourself! I don't understand these differences, because I'm not 'globalised' like you! I'm just starting to take small, baby steps, whereas you are a veteran! ;)

    • Yes because I mixed two different people xD You will be better veteran than me since you are living in highly international environment now. ;)

  • Na it is the best female wins his affection. Actually it is which ever one he wants to date wins.

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  • the girl code is a rip off/Walmart brand version of the guy code tbh

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  • no its not. i dont give a shit about your best friend unless you want a 3some

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What Girls Said 13

  • Well tbh how would you feel if your friend did that to you? What would you feel if your bff went for a guy that she knew you liked? You'd probably feel a bit disappointed, especially if they start dating. How awkward would it be to be around them when they are all kissy faces together and you are there too.

    I mean, if you talk to her first and she is fine with you going for him then that's okay. But I would definitely talk to her.

    in my opinion I always back off when I know a friend likes a guy. I see him as off limits. It's not worth it for me to lose a friend over a guy.

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    • True. I won't deny that. One shouldn't lose a friend over a guy!!

    • So true! It's most often not worth it. The heartache of losing a friend, and the thing is, this guy may not have even been all that great. He might only be a temporary part of both of your lives. So it's better to have a friend. There are plenty of guys out there :)

    • Like plenty of buses and trains xD xD

  • I always hear of this "girl code" bit never see much evidence of it. To the contrary. I see and hear of girls ripping and attempting to steal away boyfriends of their own closest female friends in many ways, backstabbing is worse among females then males. In fact so much physical confrontations and major fights of rage erupts often over it, many times indirect too. Girls are a lot nastier then guys in this respect.

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    • That's why I am scared of opening up to female friends about "the man" until the friend is really close to me!

    • I would really keep it from your friends if you feel that way about their boyfriends. There is no "girl code" but there is a "bro code" which i have seen. there's a possibility they will try to steal him behind your back, especially if you're not in a relationship with him. Even then they will try, and most guys are too horny and weak not to push them away.

  • I think girl code is talking about it with your friend and seeing if it's something she's ok with. If she's ok with it, go ahead. If not, then don't.
    Every situation is different and the flexibility of girls varies. For me personally, I wouldn't want to hold back a friend from pursuing a guy she's into, just because I'm also into him. It would be selfish of me to prohibit her from being with him, especially if he also likes her back. Yeah it would hurt but I'd get over it.
    I can't speak for other girls though, which is why it's always a good idea to just ask and talk about it.

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  • Yes; however, if a certain amount of time passes and she doesn't do anything about it, then I'd say he's fair game.

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  • I think it's just a friend code. If a friend tried to persue a guy I liked then she wouldn't be my friend anymore.
    I think the rules are that you stay away from your friend's crush until she gave permission or the guy gave more attention to you than your friend and so it wouldn't have worked out anyways. After all it's the guy's choice.

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    • True. I think the commitment initially lies with our friend and then depends on the choice of the guy.

  • Yes, I would never ever go for a guy that my friend likes.

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  • Yeah it's one of those unspoken rules, it's girl code. Or like another answerer said, just being a good friend.

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  • Yes, 100% it makes you a not nice person

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  • Yes.

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  • Yes, it would cause WAY too many problems

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  • Yep. .. lol been there done that.. No bueno.

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  • I think it depends. Is this a new crush or someone she's been pining for, for months/years/etc.. Would she be crushed if you started dating this guy; stuff like that. Generally yes, it is girl code to steer clear of dudes your friend likes. Dating him is not worth losing a friend, dealing with jealousy, and all that negativity that comes along with situations like that. However, some friends just don't care. Personally, my best friend is the first to promote dating anyone I could have potential with, even if she liked them. Of course I never go down that road, but it's the principle of her actions.

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    • True. The negativity that comes with all this is something not worth taking for the fun of pursuing a dude. No.

  • More just like being a considerate and good friend.

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