I've a crush on a guy who is in a relationship for multiple years, but they live in diff. places.
We've been talking for a year now and he is giving me hot and cold signs..
He is clearly attracted to me and has also confirmed that he likes me and is interested in me... we kind of agreed to be friends, but the flirting has continued...
I think I can't be friends with him given our past history (nothing physical, but highly flirti etc...)
I feel so stuck with this situation and I don't know how to resolve it. I want him, but he doesn't make any effort to break up with her and he is also ambivalent towards me... nice in one second and then strange (I wouldn't say he is different, I think he is confused). I am considering no contact, but since were kind of friends, I would find this mean... he accused me before that I was wrong etc, that he likes me and that I should believe him, but actions are not following. I know that I have to withdraw, but when he texts me next, what am I supposed to do? play it cool, call him out, ignore him?
I feel bad for ignorim him, but he sometimes takes time to answer me... He is inconsiderate and everything is on his terms. I feel that his girlfriend is just kind of a security, but he can flirt with others etc...
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The problem here is that you are going after a guy who is in a relationship and is not set on breaking up with his current girlfriend. You will always be on the sidelines. He has no will to change his situation.
If he wanted to be with you, he could break up with his girlfriend. But he won't. Everything is on his terms. If he is like this now, how is he going to be in a relationship?
in my opinion this guy doesn't want to break up with his girlfriend. If he did, he would have done that a long time ago. Also, he is willing to flirt with other girls and lead them on to thinking that they may get together sometime. Also a big red flag!
The best thing you can do is move on from this guy. He's not going to break up with his girlfriend for you. Sorry to say that, but he won't. And do you really want to be with a guy who would flirt with another girl and talk to her for a year behind your back? To me that is just sketchy behaviour.
It's quite possible he could do the same thing to you. It's better to find a guy who is going to make a move and be your boyfriend rather than wait around on the sidelines while this guy still gets to have his girlfriend too.
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