Hi there, I've a crush on a guy who is in a relationship for multiple years, but they live in diff. places. We've been talking for a year now and he is giving me hot and cold signs..
He is clearly attracted to me and has also confirmed that he likes me and is interested in me... we kind of agreed to be friends, but the flirting has continued...
I think I can't be friends with him given our past history (nothing physical, but highly flirti etc...)
I feel so stuck with this situation and I don't know how to resolve it. I want him, but he doesn't make any effort to break up with her and he is also ambivalent towards me... nice in one second and then strange (I wouldn't say he is different, I think he is confused). I am considering no contact, but since were kind of friends, I would find this mean... he accused me before that I was wrong etc, that he likes me and that I should believe him, but actions are not following. I know that I have to withdraw, but when he texts me next, what am I supposed to do? play it cool, call him out, ignore him?
I feel bad for ignorim him, but he sometimes takes time to answer me... He is inconsiderate and everything is on his terms. I feel that his girlfriend is just kind of a security, but he can flirt with others etc...
I would either forget him and move on (if you can't be friends, have no contact with him anymore) or, tell him he has to choose now between you. Either he ends it with his girlfriend for you or that's it because you now have feelings and you can't ignore them.
The problem here is that you are going after a guy who is in a relationship and is not set on breaking up with his current girlfriend. You will always be on the sidelines. He has no will to change his situation.
If he wanted to be with you, he could break up with his girlfriend. But he won't. Everything is on his terms. If he is like this now, how is he going to be in a relationship?
in my opinion this guy doesn't want to break up with his girlfriend. If he did, he would have done that a long time ago. Also, he is willing to flirt with other girls and lead them on to thinking that they may get together sometime. Also a big red flag!
The best thing you can do is move on from this guy. He's not going to break up with his girlfriend for you. Sorry to say that, but he won't. And do you really want to be with a guy who would flirt with another girl and talk to her for a year behind your back? To me that is just sketchy behaviour.
It's quite possible he could do the same thing to you. It's better to find a guy who is going to make a move and be your boyfriend rather than wait around on the sidelines while this guy still gets to have his girlfriend too.
Id talk and say you know we have attraction. But i wpnt accept the other girl. When you decide to move on from her for good then reach oit to me and ill see where im at. Otherwise no fuelrther contact because xyz.
There... u pit up the boundary u are expressing... he know u are quality... and what to do.
If he already has a girlfriend then you should stay away from him. You shouldn't keep any contact and don't respond if he tries to contact you. If he indeed likes you and wants to be with you, then let him decide what he wants, he should decide if he wants to choose you or his girlfriend. If he decides to choose you, then let him end his relationship with his girlfriend and then come to you.
Let him decide on his own, don't help him and don't try to do anything.
Cut contact with him and move on. If he cheats on his girlfriend with you he's a piece of shit and will probably do the same thing to you. Do you want a boyfriend who flirts with other women behind your back? Women...
Leave him alone. He has a girl snd thats a no no. Plus from experiance, if he has a girl but flirts heavy with you. If you became his girl, he'll just do it again with another. It won't change. I've done it, and its been done to me. Dont risk it
He just sounds like bad news to me. If he's willing to flirt with other girls while in this relationship, I doubt he'll stop in the next one (i. e. possibly with you). Waiting around for a person to become available is a waste of time in my opinion. And hoping that things will end badly between them is also rude. I think you're better off finding someone who's actually available and who doesn't flirt with other girls behind his girlfriend's back.
You need to move on and leave them alone even if they were living in different countries not places, you don't want to ruin someone's relationship cause someone's will ruin yours one day. You find yourself a single guy who really deserve your feelings, if this guy cheated on his girlfriend he will end up cheating on you too.
Do you really want to be with a guy who allows things to get fliration with women that's not his girlfriend? Who is either playing his girlfriend or doesn't respect her enough to break it off?
If you get together i dont see it lasting. People like to think their exceptional in this situation. But thats almost never the case.
If you want him you need to set boundries. Ex: 1. If you stay friends tell me and quit flirting and sending mixed signals 2. If you really like me you have to break up with your girlfriend or else we can't be friends.
wait till they break up then jump at him
nothing, let her to his girlfriend
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