What's a polite way to tell someone that you are already interested in someone else?

So I have two guys right now that have the world's biggest crushes on me, and they happen to be my guy friends. It's so obvious that they like me because they go overboard on the compliments, and talk about how they're getting over their recent break ups and relationship advice stuff. Pretty much saying how they're not a fuckboy like some guys.
Both of them keep hinting that they want to date me so badly and DM me often.

It's a little overwhelming for me because I found out through another guy friend of theirs. This isn't the first time I've had guys come on too strong on me, but the ones in the past weren't as obvious at first that they were into me until after they got to know me. These guys I'm talking about, I don't know them as well.

How should I respond? I don't want to come out and say I don't like you like that, or I'm already into someone else, because I am into someone already but we're not dating (yet). If I already had a boyfriend, I would have a much easier time saying no, but I don't at the moment.. I'm still in the, "getting to know you" and "flirting" phase.
I try to be considerate of people's feelings but cases like this make it difficult because both of them have self esteem issues. Ones chasing acceptance, the others making me his rebound.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's better if you tell the truth, it's hard at first but infinitely better than letting them think they have a chance.

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    • And by truth i mean telling them straight, that you're not interested in more than friendship with either of them.

Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, if there is something I've learned from online dating it is to get to know all of them a little better before you turn anyone down. The guy you are interested in hasn't made you his yet, that means you are still free to see what others have to offer and I *highly* recommend using that freedom. (Although a little less so on rebound guy.)

    It does 2 things. 1-it gives you a chance to be surprised and swept off your feet by the ither man and 2-it keeps you from getting too attached to someone who wants to drag his feet. (There are a lot of girls who will be in nonexclusive psuedorelationships for months or YEARS. I've never had the problem. You don't have to advertise it to any of the guys either.)

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    • He hasn't but he's given me subtle hints that he's interested. I was looking at other guys but I'm not sold on anyone else but the guy I'm currently crushing on. Haha

    • Yes, but until he actually asks you, I wouldn't count anyone out if you think they COULD have a chance. If there isn't a major deal breaker in them, you may get to know someone and like him better. (Subtle hints don't really win my heart's loyalty.)

What Guys Said 2

  • Hey, i take offense to "... like some guys" lol...
    as for your question, there's really no way to say/express rejection "politely" its just best to just come out with it...
    you have already seen that one may be using you as a rebound, so then pick the other. Its not a necessary thing to let the "rebound" one know anything.

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  • If I read this correctly you like a third guy and the other two have crushes on you but you don't want hurt their feelings. Okay fair enough but pussyfooting around the issue is only going to confuse things and possibly lead to greater hurt down the line. My advice is you don't have to say you have to turn them down because you like someone else but since they are friends, if you let it be known among your friends that you really like third guy without acknowledging the other two crushes it gives everyone a way out. The two guys get the message without losing face and you clear the air.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Mention that other person quite often in conversations

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