Why did he compliment me and then STOP messaging me?

I've been talking to this online guy for 4 days. We mutually liked eachother so I initiated the first message. On his profile he stated that he is only looking for "friends." Yeah sure... Whatever floats his boat. So I messaged him. Kept it strictly platonic. We talked about normal stuff. He hinted twice that I have to show him a few things but never initiated meeting up. I always respond to him definitely we should meet up. We talked about food and asked how days went. We have a lot in common as well. He asked some questions but I did most of the asking. He always replies as soon as he's online to my message. However today, he only messaged once. This morning/afternoon he asked if I was an extrovert. I said I'm 50/50. He said he's really introverted. Then he complimented me and said" I seem very polite and a pleasure to be around. That my smile seems to break a lot of hearts as well. Then he asked if I liked night clubs." I said not really my thing but I'll go if I'm invited. Haven't heard from him since. He's been online twice in the day and hasn't replied to my message. Did I say something wrong? Was I too boring? I tried to keep the conversations strickly friendly and interesting as well. What should I have said? Or was he just bored talking to me? I feel lame now because I drove another guy away with my boring messages.


What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think you did anything wrong and you should hold your boundaries.
    Online dating (if that is what this is), is very difficult and confusing and that is why I limit and avoid texting/chat and move to meet soon. IMHO texting is terrible communication and leads to confusion like this. As well, it is deceptive... he can say whatever he likes but it isn't real until you meet in person. Only meet in person if you are comfortable.
    I get the sense just from this you are two different caliber of persons. He wants to go to a nightclub,, and you are like... maybe. So he's fishing for something you aren't...

    you didn't bore anyone, but you also aren't countering... for example..."not into nightclubs, but I really enjoy XYZ. WZY is a great way to meet and say hello." I'd probably take the advice of other women over mine so take grains of salt... I really think you just have a dude fishing. If I got a reply like that and I was interested, I'd have met you.

    • It's just weird because he states that he's very introverted and doesn't like drinking. Yet he asks if I want to go to a night club? Then he states he wants to meet my dogs and for me to show him how to make something. I'm like yes definitely and even asked if he goes to dog parks and etc. This was the first time he complimented my looks out of all the days we talked so I thought it we moved up a step. Guess not though. All my online dates never end positive or I never get any luck. I told myself if this guy doesn't work out I'm just not going to try anymore.

    • his behavior is out of order and you seem normal (thats a good thing). my guess is he is very introverted and doesnt' know how to socialize, talk to women, etc.. I'd say let that fish go. Online dating is not very effective and takes a lot of work and rejection. Texting is nearly useless. I've seen online dating end in marriage, but that's the exception. Most people suffer and quit.

      I'm out there, but I hold little hope in it. Just keep it in perspective. Live your life, meet people that way.

  • Online can be toxic, folk are maybe not what they say. U can B whatever U want online, UNLESS U R like me, I am a retired IT consul6tant so I can sometimes see who is behind the "online mask". Take care sweet girl,, have a good life and never believe what you find online unless it is ME!


What Girls Said 1

  • You didn't say anything wrong. He probably found someone else who was eager about other stuff.

    • Eager about other stuff?
      I really don't understand when you put "only looking for friends" on your profile- why ditch them. Especially if you mutually liked each other. Doesn't make sense. It's whatever I guess. This whole online thing isn't working for me at all.