I've been single for 4 years since i broke up with my fiance of 7 years. It hasn't been easy looking for someone new. I've found that at my age, most of the men i met with great potential are either taken or gay or much younger. By potential, i mean someone who's also looking for a serious relationship. Seriously. It's been a very disappointing and lonely journey these past few years. I enjoy life and i don't think i give out any desperate vibes but people seem to think i'm taken so they don't even try. I've always liked taking it slow and believed in getting to know someone well but that hasn't been working out for me so i'm thinking of changing my perspective. I realized this because the 2 guys i got to know the last few years since my break up ended up becoming my buddies and closest friends! I won't get into the details about that but it's not like we aren't attractive to each other. We get enough compliments but compliments don't get me dates :_(. It's just knowing each other too well kinda spoilt the mystery a little and then decided it's not worth giving it a shot. So, i'm at a point now i want to meet someone new but have no idea where to meet them (i've tried the bar, drinking coffee by myself at starbucks, the park, solo lunches etc). Where do all these men go to and how do they spend their free time? If you are a man ready for a long term relationship, where do you go and what do you when you're free?
Most Helpful Guy
You may be a candidate for a matchmaker... e. g. go to where there are other people with the same challenge who are serious. $$$$ though.
Activities such as bicycling, the gym, volleyball. If you want intellecual, then try going to such events like museums, debates. Make yourself available and engage with people.
Try organized events put on for singles.
the dog park?
hang out with your married girlfriends as there are single (divorced) guys watching their kids play soccer and baseball.
We do sometimes buy groceries ya know!
The bar and coffee shops... been there and I have fun with it
Make yourself avialable: I see women around, sometimes attracted, but if I'm not feeling strong at the moment and not reading they are available, etc... then I may pass. sometimes I engage sometimes I don't.
Men have the same issue just harder. All you have to do is show up, we have to find you, approach, get rejected, be interesting, followup, lead, etc.. Its a skill...
Best advice I can give is find things that are physical and outgoing that you enjoy doing, then do them. You'll build networks and that will lead to people.
Online dating: my experience is it is really difficult and harder than normal life. Ok to do as a side approach in addition to other things you are doing.
I'd say to most people... consider relationship counseling, it is worth it to dig through yourself. If you don't, when you get into a relationship, the stuff is going to be churned up and ooze out anyways. We all think we are healthy and normal until we start to bond with someone else and we find our human flaws. Attraction is subconscious... so find out whats going on down there. an emotionally healthy and confident you is going to be even more attractive.