Breaking up with the perfect guy. Do I make sense or am I completely berserk?

My whole life I've always been attracted to the wrong guys, I CHOOSE to date assholes cuz its exciting & a part of me always hopes that I can change them. I find them hot & sexy & sex w/ the "asshole" type is always SOO good, whether ur on good terms, bad terms, love each other or hate each other its always good for many reasons 1) guys like that have had a lot of practice, 2) they dont get their feelings involved in sex, they dont have sex to make love, they f**k & us women lay there & think were making love w/ them but no theyre just f**king us, & 3) its good cuz there's usually so much turbulence in those types of relationships all of that hormone build up, that fear u get when ur fighting & about to have another one of your weekly "break-ups" when ur like "omg I've lost them... were never going to be together again.." ya of course the sex feels good after u make up. So that is what I've always been attracted to. But when I was 22ish I ended a relationship w/ a guy like that & I was drained & tired of chasing that so I decided to date different guys, so at 23 I met a great guy; I was really happy & I really do think he was everything I ever wanted! Great job, great family, completely financially independent at 26 & he made great money, bought me the most lavish gifts, he was about to start Dental School at a top tier college, he was SO smart.

Updates:
My family loved him & he loved my family. I basically had it all... but I knew from our very first date that I wasn't physically attracted to him at all, he just wasn't my type, he's 5’11, works out, he's good-looking but I just didn't like his facial features, its not what I go for at all & I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter & that if I ever let him go cuz of his facial features Im a fool.
Well at first it was his face that was just blehhh to me but that thing led to soo many other issues. So since I wasn't attracted to him I NEVER enjoyed having sex w/ him, so of course that led to fights. He was always complaining about how I never want to be intimate w/ him & he was right I always rejected sex because it was SO awful for me, & whenever we did have sex I always pictured other guys, random guys, like coworkers or anyone I found attractive just anyone but him!!!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Relationships are more about discovering yourself and meeting some needs than the other person. People are attracted at the subconscious level. The subconscious is trying to fill in a void from childhood (imperfect love, rejections, wounds, etc..). So you are attracted to guys that aren't emotionally into you which makes me think you have fears of being emotionally attached, or something like that.
    So you want to break up with a great guy and the question is if you should? Bottom line, you aren't at his level of emotional health IMHO so let him go. You will just be unhappy and you'll destroy him. Option 2, try to stay in it and let it be a facilitator to grow. Get counseling to help explore why you feel the way you do and you may discover hidden wounds and needs and you'll change, and then what you want will change. It (discovery and healing) is going to happen anyway, you can work on yourself, or you can just let time do its work. But the results of being with so many bad boys is going to take a toll on you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol I totally get you, I love to fuck assholes as well. :D It's because they are good looking and they don't give a damn about anything else then their looks and how to get laid. They are good teasers, they make us jealous and driving us insane. I know they are assholes and I could never be with him in a relationship, but doesn't stop me from wanting to fuck him. :D It's all about balance, though. When I met my boyfriend I thought he was complete asshole. He is really good looking and has that asshole-face (and he also acted a bit like an asshole towards me). I wanted to fuck him and I already labeled him as a fuck-buddy. I treated him like asshole because better safe then sorry. Damn, it took him a lot of hardwork to convince me that he actually is not an asshole lol. I just couldn't believe that a guy like that him exsists, like there MUST be something wrong, he can't be perfect. Well, so far so good. :)

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What Guys Said 9

  • You can't make a relationship work with someone you're not physically attracted to no matter how perfect they are in other ways. He deserves a girlfriend who actually likes him.

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  • Life isn't about attraction and sex. Neither are relationships. The best relationships (long lasting ones) are the ones that Love the person even if they are not the "prince" you imagined you'd marry. With age attraction take a back seat and character carries you through the difficult times.

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  • Then date the attractive guy

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  • If you see him as the perfect guy now after dumping you WILL regret it

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  • Your broken, I suggest checking your warrantee and getting yourself fixed.

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  • U can NEVER change anyone and if U think U can, U R wrong.

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  • You're worse than a bitch

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  • Why don't you just go out with a nice guy from the beginning and skip all the fix the asshole guy. I think women waste a lot if time with that, why put yourself through all of that, how much better is it really going to be in the long run?

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  • If that's how you feel that's how you feel. God knows there's no shortage of asshole guys in the world.

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What Girls Said 0

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