Hello!! I've been dating a guy for more than a month now and we are having a great time so far. I feel really good with him and comfortable and we can laugh and talk about everything :). He is very kind and generous and sweet to me and I like him very much! I've know him for two years, we made out at a party a few times sometime ago, but the dating started recently. However, I've always refused to sleep with him and still am refuising.
This is not because I am prude or anything. I love sex and I can realy let myself go, but I am doing this because of negative experiences in the past, I am being protective of my feelings. I know that when I sleep with a guy I already like, it is very easy for me to fall in love very hard :/ and I am afraid that I will hear nothing from him anymore when I finally sleep with him. Also I don't know if he is seeing anyone else at the moment and I don't want to be just an option. I mean, here in this city with a lot of bars and clubs it is really easy to get laid, so if I wanted to have some kind of meaningless sex I would just hit a bar and pick someone up. I have did that many times in the past, but realised that it wasn't at all satisfying and I am only settling for something deeper and more meaningful and someone who likes me for who I am (mutually ofcourse).
However I can imagine that he is starting to feel rejected... He is so nice and courtish to me and always pays for our dates (even when I insist I want to pay he just grabs his wallet and pays the waiter before I can do anything. Sometimes i pay secretly when he goes to the bathroom haha), so I feel guilty :(. How long should I wait? And should I tell him why I want to wait? What do you guys think :)? Thanks in advance!!!
Most Helpful Guy
I think I understand how you feel. You should have a long talk with him and explain what's going through your mind as you did here. You're literally afraid you'll fall in love with him. I think that
1 he'll feel better knowing that you really care and that you're not holding out to be a tease.
2 he'll understand how sex affects you and be more understanding.
Most Helpful Girl
I think this is very wise and shows a deep understanding of yourself. I think you should share all this with your boyfriend so that he can understand you. I know it can be scary to do, but I find that this is best and most great guys are very understanding (in my experience ) when I'm just honest about such things.1