What would you do if you found out your bf/gf set up a spy camera on you?

This happened to me, I want to save the relationship and I love them very much however they thought I might be cheating on them since I was hanging out with someone who likes me BUT has a partner.. I was fery transparent about this but found a spy camera and he admitted to it right away. I asked a similar question yesterday however there was a lack of responses.

Updates:
I was in a hotel that was booked for the weekend, he had complete access to it at all times.
ALSO my friend was not staying the night or anything of the sorts, I was having girlfriends over in the evening-night time to get ready and pre drink before going out.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What would I do? I would use it as an opening for a discussion with my partner about intimacy and trust; I would try to understand if we were on the same page regarding how we treat one another and the relationship; I would explain to my partner how that behavior made me feel and see how they responded.

    People do make mistakes, the most important things are to understand why and to try to make things better going forward. If a relationship has a mechanism for addressing issues like this openly and constructively, that's great. If your partner demonstrates no caring for your feelings, or is unable to be vulnerable to you, that would be a far greater concern than any camera.

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    • Thank you, we're trying to discuss this, however I feel as if I don't want to anymore because he's embarrassed himself enough, but I do feel like I let it go too quickly or I was too nice, I understood why he may have felt suspicious however I can not actually wrap my head around sneaking into the room without me knowing while I was out and planting it. He also mentioned the lack of texts whilst I was out was concerning, I think it's petty. Claims by the time he got to the ground floor he felt stupid and wanted to go up and take it down but freaked him out as it was around the time I would've been walking through the door... hm

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    • Thank you very much you've been an awesome help!

    • If you kept the camera. And saw nothing was on it. Why wouldn't you just show him with no volume? By saying you chucked it only makes it look like something was on it. People who are not guilty show proof. People who are guilty hide the evidence and try and talk there way out. Plus you put him in such a bad position. Yes the camera is super bad. But you gave him every reason to think something was up. But even if he did see nothing on the camera he knows that he stuck that in the room after you left with your friend. So anything could have happened before that.

      Your partner should always have trust and faith. But partners should also have respect for each other. And I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot you would have been thinking the same thing. If he was in a hotel room alone with a girl that likes him and not texting you. I think this stems from your lack of respect for him

Most Helpful Girl

  • After reading some of the added details in your examole, I think I can understand where he was coming from (not that it was right of him to do).

    I think, given the circumstances I would talk to him about it, including how what he did made me feel, and asking him some probing questions to get to the bottom of why he thought it was necessary. Ideally this would lead to a deeper understanding between the 2 of you and hopefully some compromises between both of you on what is and is not appropriate/what you can and can't deal with from each other.

    What he did was wrong, but I'm not sure what you did was entirely right either. If my boyfriend had got me a hotel for my birthday weekend, I think he would Def have been invited to come along with my friend and I and out with my friends that night. If he didn't want to it is a diff story, but for what all he did, I think I see where he'd be suspicious of you not including him that day. I think my friends would understand he being invited along once I explained his bday gift...

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    • I totally see your point! I guess I should add in some details, We went to the event on Friday (my boyfriend and I) I had told him that I was going to the same event on Saturday with my friend he said he was 100% okay with it, my friend was coming to meet me on Saturday and we were gong to meet another two friends at the event, During the night time it was JUST girls! He said he was suspicious because he knows this friend of mine likes me but has a girlfriend but thought "what if" and the lack of texting.. it just hurts because he went in to my room while I was gone to do so... I've given him no reason to not trust me I'm so transparent with him, i told him if he's not comfortable with me hanging out with certain people he can tell me! And its no problem

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    • Thank you so much, you've been a great help and I think I just needed to express how I feel and have someone see it from both sides which you allowed me to see.

What Guys Said 40

  • Have a conversation with them. Why? Dig into it. State a boundary that it is not appropriate, invasive and any recordings need destroyed. If there are underlying trust issues, then those need worked on. Do work. He may just be immature.
    Or move on...

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  • Okay from your comment he obviously doesn't trust you BUT at the end of the day he is insecure. How would you feel if he was with a girl who liked him?

    As a guy, I don't trust other guys because I know how our minds work. The guy that likes you is in a relationship yet he has told you he likes you which shows you he is unfaithful and would cheat on his woman. Your man has good reason to be concerned but I definitely feel that the spying is overboard. This is where trust comes into play and if anything, just reassure him that the feeling with this other guy isn't mutual and that he has nothing to worry about.

    I take this perspective because back in high school I was with a girl. I found her being close to one guy (she'd text him a lot etc.) and I asked what was up. She told me she didn't like him and also degraded him by calling him a few names and saying statements such as "as if I would get with "that"". Needless to say when our relationship ended she was with him 2 months later. Hence I keep saying he has good ground to be concerned but you need to make it clear to him that he is yours :)

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    • I see what you mean Im not saying he told me he liked me whilst having a girlfriend he has liked me for a while and I've never reciprocated so then he got it and then got a girlfriend. But I've been transparent about my friendship with my boyfriend from day one, I've never even kissed this other guy prior to my relationship etc. I have I am with him everyday and I always tell him, I just wanted that one day without him..

    • Did you ask him to leave befor your friend came? Or was he able to stay? Has he ever met your friend that likes you? Does he even know what he looks like or his name?

  • He needs to go now. Love is built on trust. He can't trust, thetefore he can't love. Move on; that is best for you.

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  • I'd be darned furious to say the least. It really depends on you and how you feel. Give it a week or two and then see what the world looks like. It may blow over in that time. Remember, "least said, soonest mended".

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    • Thats what Im trying to do but it still hurts, he admitted it right away when I sent him a picture of it saying I was terrified because I genuinely thought someone ELSE had planted it and he just sang like a bird

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    • Thank you! I agree

    • It'll take time. I'm sure you can do it!

  • Not advocating for the guy but what do you expect. Would you trust him to spend the weekend in a hotel room with a girl you knew liked him? My guess is this isn't the first time you've put him in this position and his lack of trust is probably a build up based on your actions. If not then you should've been aware you're dating a dude with trust issues and not started something serious to begin with, or not put him in this type of situation. However, in my experience girls such as yourself who have a blurry line of what is and isn't appropriate in a relationship don't just cross it one time.

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    • It wasn't a weekend with a guy, Friday night my boyfriend was meant to spend with me, Saturday he knew I had plans with some friends in the day time and night as it was my birthday weekend and he was understanding or so it seemed, i told him the play by play of what would happen in the day, I wasn't with only ONE guy however he was the one to meet me at the hotel and we would go to meet our other friends, I asked if he was okay with it and he said yes, he should've made it clear he wasn't and that would've been fine and I would've been more understanding, putting a spy camera WHILE i was at the event.. sigh. He cheated in his last relationship, I've never given him a reason to think I was cheating Im with him EVERY day lol. There could be loads of reasons as to why he did this, he's always saying I'm too good for him and so him thinking "so highly" of me I never saw this coming.

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    • I suppose because I love him and some may say love isn't always enough but I want to forsee this and over come but I literally can't 100% wrap my head around the camera thing, I've had partners go through my phone, accounts etc. but this is just really intense

    • The camera should be the least of your problems lol. Anyway good luck, you're in for a journey I feel.

  • If you really want to save the relationship then you just have to accept that he is jealous and will act out like this. You can't fix him and make him behave. He will do what he wants to do, while you have to decide if you can accept that or not.

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    • That is true, I mean he did seem rather really embarrassed and ashamed to the point he didn't think he could face me however its scary that this is infact illegal. He claims i'm the best thing thats ever happened to him, how lucky he is.. I'm very transparent with my life and my friends, even if some do find me attractive- I'm with him every. single. day if i were to be unfaithful I wouldn't have the time, just so happened that one day I wanted to hang out with my friends.

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    • I see your point and In a way I do feel trapped but I know i'm not, not to pick apart what you have said but I wouldn't work late because I work once a week and he's happy with that. I'm in university so I really don't have time to work otherwise and he does support me in that aspect and I feel as if he thinks its forgivable because he does.. ugh. I would tell a woman obviously to not date her stalker as it can be dangerous but I guess I wouldn't really call him dangerous but you never know... it makes me truly sad. I got over being angry within a couple hours and now I've just been sad

    • He has to want to get better. Maybe he might be willing to go get therapy, but he alone has the power to fix this.

  • He didn't trust you and now you will never completely trust him. Does this have a future? Let me think about it. . ..

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  • I'd drop the relationship. He didn't didn't trust you and now how you trust him by monitoring you. Next!

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  • I would challenge my S/O and say get rid of the camera and trust me or this ends NOW!! Cause I take dating seriously I wouldn't cheat cause its not worth the affairs with others.

    I mess around with other girls but thats only cause I tend to make sister bro relationships. As in if there is a sense of love its in the sibling type of love where they can punch me in the face if I'm being stupid and I would just laugh it off.

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    • I have the camera/audio! Then I told him I threw it out (i lied I know but whatever) and then he started questioning why I threw it out lol.

    • I would simply confront him and play it back and tell him if your this insecure about this how can I trust that your not cheating on me.

    • You have the camera

  • If it wr me i would put 1... I mean can't you hangout with your boyfriend and your friends? You had your friends before u met him ryt... and maybe u have that naughty friend he doesn't trust... who can surprise you with that ex of yours you never really broke up with... catch my drift?

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    • I get it, but I was total transparent about who I was meeting up with and no he couldn't as he didn't have tickets to the event and my boyfriend and I went to the event on Friday, so Saturday was a day consisting of all my friends, day time and a set of girlfriends in the night. I told him all my plans..

  • if you video tape a partner you don't respect or trust that person. You may as well move on since that relationship is done.

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  • pre drink before going out (with girl-friends) hmmmm I think you are putting the guy under a big pressure to do such a thing !
    look "going out" and anything includes drinking without your lover is not a good thing and always takes the relationship to problems !
    of course if he didn't love you he wouldn't even give a fuck, he would rather go drink and do the same and send news to you later indirectly so you go run after him...
    my advice is if you are not ready for a serious relationship and think that you need more time to have fun and live the life then don't get into one and push a guy to do crazy stuff to control you !

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    • Let me make this clear, it was my birthday weekend hence he understood that I was going to be busy with friends, I see him EVERY day so I don't think anything is wrong with drinking as our choice of alcohol was wine, and didn't got inebriated or anything lol. If I go out it's without him he's in another decade than me, he's not wanting to go party with university kids.

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    • @Sweet-and-Sour I know I feel so gutted about this, I don't understand this act, as I am very honest, I may not want my personal things being lurked at such as phones, e-mails etc because I do believe they're MY privacy if he were to ask what I was doing I have no problem telling so it just irks me because this video/audio camera is literally over the top and I want to try to work it out but as others mentioned I wonder if this is just a minor thing to him and he'd go even further. Thank you for your opinion! I guess I can't wrap my head around the fact what he actually did is illegal.

    • what he did is not an act of man, it's more like a thing which a woman would do, and I don't think you are safe with him, plus the age difference ! but my point is that women do the craziest things and when a man do one of those things it's the end of the world for them ))))))

  • That is a deal-breaker for me. I would dump the woman's ass just like that.

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  • I wouldn't hang out with someone of the opposite sex who I knew liked me whether they had a partner or not. Married people cheat on each other with other married people all the time, it makes no difference. That's bound to make someone suspect something.

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    • Thats the thing I have a friendship long before I met my boyfriend, I had told him if he had a problem then say so, it was my birthday weekend and friends wanted to treat me to this event. It wasn't solely just with this one person, but we were meeting other people there.

    • Yeah but by the sound of it you were alone with him for a bit? A lot of people avoid openly saying that they're uncomfortable with something to avoid the whole argument over not trusting each other.

    • Yeah I was, I can see your point though. But still I don't think there's an excuse to actually put up a spy camera genuinely was freaked out.

  • I won't breakup probably but its a huge distrust in a partner

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    • I know! And thats whats hard I thought we got over the bumps and the previous night we got in a huge fight over him thinking what he does isn't good enough for anyone

    • I understand. These things will need very long time to heal...
      I dont think there is anything more that can be done.

  • Dump him, expose him on all his social media, and possibly alert authorities, and definitely have his ass kicked.

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  • To me it is a red flag of a control freak - Someone who assumes they can't trust you is laying very shaky foundations for a relationship.

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    • Its hard, I mean we haven't even made it to a year yet. I spend almost every day with him I just wanted that one day to spend with my friends- he's always encouraging me to go out with my friends and the one time that i'm just meeting up with one person to meet up with others he does this.

  • That means he don't trust you

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    • It hurts, I mean I''ll never be able to look at him the same, he said he was so ashamed and embarrassed and he doesn't know why he lets his curiosity ruin his relationship with me. In the past he's also tried to go in my phone

    • Yes but it doesn't mean he is bad person completely ! He maybe deeply in love with you and due to some reason feeling so insecure and keeping eye on you to make sure he is wrong

  • Can I watch the footage?

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    • I told him I threw it out, but realistically I kept it and watched what was on it and it was literally me talking and talking and then realizing there's a hidden camera LOL

  • I can understand asking my friends if I'm cheating (which I would never do), getting advice from her friends and family, and asking to see my phone. But, a hidden camera? That's crossing a big, bright line.

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    • Yeah I know, the thing is I was having my friends over in the evening and night time to pre drink and then go out so he knew all my friends were there.. in the day time I was going to a different event with different people, I was SO transparent, he brought up how I wasn't texting him much which made him wonder I mean common people get busy.

  • I think that is not only controlling but sleazy. I'd dump him.

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    • I felt like I was going to vomit, I don't know if I'm going to break up with him because I truly want to move past this, but it could go either way, either lead to more shady shit and lack of connection or actually survive this. Thanks for your input though

  • There are already going to be cameras in every room of my house except the bathroom. They're not the to spy on the inhabitants.

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  • If a girl did this to me, I'd be angry to say the least.

    Setting aside the fact he doesn't trust you, he doesn't respect you either, and gives two shits about your privacy. Definitely a red flag, and time to move on.

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    • I understand where you're coming from, perhaps because he cheated in the past he feels like I someone who treats him really well could potentially do the same, I have some regrets of being so transparent with him because not to toot my horn but he knows a lot of male friends do find me attractive and such. I want to move pas this but only time will tell, thank you for your input

  • We'd be having one hell of a talk I can say that much.

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  • It's most likely over if that happened, but then again I wouldn't put myself into your situation.
    Why would you stay in a hotel room with someone you know that likes YOU while he still has a girlfriend of his own?

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    • The thing is people make it seem I was staying in a hotel room, literally he met me at the hotel and I was finishing my hair and then we left. My boyfriend left around noon the event was starting around 1.. so as a girl I asked if I could have more time. My boyfriend stayed with me Friday night -saturday morning and came on Sunday morning the guy did not stay at all lol

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    • He actually was the cheater in his last relationship, and he always says how he's so lucky to have me and how I'm the most beautiful and kind person he's been with.. potentially because he was so good at hiding his cheating from his ex he feels I could do the same. WHICH SUCKS but I know it's not 100% me the reason for his mistrust in general.

    • Yeah.. His past is probably haunting him

  • Jerk off for my audience, after that don't know

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  • Give them something to look at. - lol

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  • As long as she recorded us having sex lol just kidding.

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  • Just break up... are you serious? he sounds creepy and dangerous at the same time.

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  • Anyone who set up a spy camera on me would find themselves categorised as "my ex".

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What Girls Said 32

  • I would be so angry and feel so violated that I could NOT trust them again. That is messed up because if they're willing to go to that extent over a suspicion, what else could they do? Take secret nude pics or videos of you and use them as leverage in an argument or if you break up? Hell to the absolute mother fucking NO WAY. I would be gone with two peace symbols in the air followed by a double-bird.

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    • I was VERY angry, I wasn't doing anything wrong, I told him me and my friend were going to come back to the hotel to eat, he mentioned how I barely text him and stuff whilst I was with my friend but okay.. he could've text me too. I told him I threw the device out but in reality I kept it and watched what was on it, it was creepy seeing him setting it up and then I watched me literally talking to my friend.. and then realizing the camera was there. Its hard I don't want to be a push over and let him think its okay he knows its not. But I do want to forsee this relationship but one more thing and I'm gone. Im not saying I'm gonna be all affectionate with him he truly has to earn my trust back-- he cheated on his last relationship on his wife who was mentally il (no excuse) so I think because he knows what he did was wrong he thinks other people will do the same thing

  • Wow, that would honestly be a deal-breaker for me. It would show that:
    1) he doesn't trust me
    2) he doesn't respect me, my judgement, or my privacy

    If he felt you were cheating, then he needed to TALK to you about his feelings and figure something out. Not spy on you. That's not cool at all.

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    • I know, I love him and I know sometimes love isn't enough but I do want to foresee this relationship but only time will tell. Its true I told him he needs to talk to me about these things and all though i felt bad because he couldn't even look at me because he was so ashamed and embarrassed- I mean If I were cheating on him why would I let him have the other key to the room (hotel). Truly is heart breaking when someone does this

    • Yeah, it's definitely a tough situation to be in. :/

      Honestly though, if he's willing to set up a camera to spy on you, what else would he do? That would be very conquering to me. I personally would not be able to trust him anymore. If you want to make it work though I would just recommend talking to him about it some more and make sure he knows that he crossed a line and should not do that again.

  • I doubt our relationship would be able to continue, it would mean neither of us could trust the other.

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    • It's a tough situation, and I know many will think I'm making a mistake of wanting to proceed but I just want to see if we can. To start fresh

  • Me personally I would've left him.
    Sounds like the guy have problems with his past relationships. Do something to make him know you won't hurt him, and if he continues not trusting you move on.

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    • I've tried and the thing is he has no right to assume because in his last relationship he was the one that cheated.. Im going to try to look above this however its just fricken scary

    • I see the problem now. He cheated and now he thinks he's going to get cheated on. He's scared of karma. Well I don't know what else to say to you so good luck :D

    • Thank you!

  • Two options. Work on this in counseling (or at least together) or drop the relationship. Personally, I'd try talking with him about it first. I would be hurt that I'm not trusted, but you might not know his full story. He could have been severely hurt by a previous cheater that spooked him, and that just created a layer of mistrust. It sounds like he (or she, of I'm correct on that?) was just really worried about losing you and didn't want to get screwed over again.
    But I couldn't really blame you for dropping out of it either. Trust is super important in a relationship.

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    • The thing is- I am willing to work on it, but it was the total opposite, he got cheated on in his younger years.. like teens which I don't think really bothers him, but prior to me he did cheat on his ex partner.. he always says how lucky he is to be with me, so I don't understand. I'm very transparent about what I am doing and I gave him the whole run down of my Saturday day+ night because that was the only day I wasn't spending with him as he left in the morning.

    • That may actually bother him, depending. Maybe that led him to even cheat.
      I think if you're willing to work on it, try working on it. If it continues to be this distrustful though, then perhaps may be the time to end. No relationship is ever perfect without any problems, but the greatest relationships work through them

  • FUCKING DUMP HIS ASS SO HE UNDERSTANDS WHAT he's MISSING!!! If you still want to get with him give it a few days or a week and reevaluate your relationship and go over boundaries with him. He is 100% in the wrong for setting up a spy camera (that's illegal too) why can't he just check your phone when you go to the bathroom like a normal insecure person haha

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  • I would break up. You don't trust me... you're very smart if you don't... but don't freaking spy on me XD

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  • id leave. i won't b treated like i can't be trusted.

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  • If my bf/husband did that to me wine day and I found out about it... I'd give him a show to watch 😒

    I mean he clearly wanted to see something am I right?

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    • LOL
      But I know what you mean, he put it in the room when I was at the event.. not to mention that night I was having a bunch of girlfriends over and us preing before going out and such.. changing so it totally changes the rules, its not only invading my privacy its invading other peoples privacy that has nothing to do with him.

  • That would be the end of that relationship for me. Trust is vital and if we don't have that we don't have anything.

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  • Why would you want to save a relationship who
    1) doesn't trust you and
    2) completely violated your privacy
    ?

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    • Because i do think it could be salvaged in some way, with a lot of time. The thing Is I never gave him a reason to not trust me, he was the one who cheated in his last relationship- so wtf does that have to do with me ugh.

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    • I see your point, it's just very annoying I mean we haven't even made it to a year yet and I'm already losing my patience. I've been known in my past to give too many chances however I think i will see how this goes and if it doesn't get better and there's more signs of violation and mistrust then I will leave. He didn't understand why I wasn't more mad and I had asked him if I did it to him how would he feel and his response was "well I wouldn't be happy but there wouldn't be anything to see" and I said thats exactly how I feel..

    • If he wonders why you weren't more mad, he'll also think it's ok to continue with his unacceptable behavior.

  • It's one thing to video tape sex ( at least you can focus on getting the good angles lol) but a spy cam? I would be angry, and chatting about trust issues!

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    • Yeah whilst I was at the event, he went in my hotel room and put it in-- only then when me and my friend got back to the room I noticed it.

    • Only you can decide how to proceed from here. ( e. g forgive him and continue the relationship or leave him). I am of the mind that we sometimes do incredibly stupid things in a relationship. It is usually out of love, jealous, not thinking things through, but we can't just parachute out of a relationship when things things don't go our way or the road gets a little rough. This is not to say that this is a clear violation of privacy, and boundaries need to be set and outlined! Best of luck!

  • If I gave him a reason to cheat then possibly, but just speaking to another male isn't a good enough reason to suspect someone of that. He has no trust if this is the case, and the relationship will ultimately fail.

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  • I'd leave right away I don't need an obsessive controlling and overly paranoid person in my life. I'd be like "I hope you enjoyed my solo dance party because that is the last cute thing I will ever let you see me do! bye bitch!"

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  • I would feel like he didn't trust me. I would feel hurt and like he thought I was a liar. It would take a huge toll on our relationship.

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    • I agree, he was very apologetic and all though it doesn't really matter because whats done is done but i do want to try and reconnect and get back on the right path.. it definitely took a toll I couldn't look at him and for some reason I feel like I was too nice to him but i'm not going to start being hostile now lol.

    • @Asker, you do that. All the best.

  • Where was the camera?

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    • He got me a hotel for my birthday weekend, and he placed it angled towards the bed ontop of the cupboards infront.. I only saw it because I was standing and near the bathroom

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    • and I agree! I may have nothing to hide however i don't think I should expose my friends deep conversations they tell me in confidence, and not to mention that night I had friends coming over GIRLS all of us changing.. etc. So wtf.

    • Trust is a basic thing needed in the relationship
      You know what, maybe you should show him this GAG question, if you think it might help

  • I would smash the camera and any data it collected with a hammer and then break up him. He needs to go love is built on trust.

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    • I did tell him I got rid of it then he got weirded out, but really I have it and I watched it and it literally was just me and my friend talking but then later on in the night all me and my girlfriends talking. I don't have anything to hide but its just conversations that are my privacy with MY friends

    • It's still your privacy and I would be incredibly hurt

  • id press charges. and we are over.

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  • Oh, geez... he would be very bored.

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  • I'd totally make it look like I had a massive orgy with all my girlfriends then have guys come over too! That's obviously what he was hoping to see, let him see it. Two can be that immature. Why wouldn't he just stop by? Why be weird about it?

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  • 1. I will say, from experience, I do not hang out 1:1 with someone who is interested in me unless I am interested back.

    2. That said, this is completely unacceptable on his part. You need to dump him. I know it'll hurt, but that is such a violation of trust that I don't think you can go on.

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  • break up with him smh

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  • i'm pretty sure that's against the law. Also, the one who accuses their partner of cheating, is usually cheating. just sayin.

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    • Yeah he did with his ex partner i know that however we're with each other every day, i just wasn't with him FOR THAT ONE day and he does this.. after i was totally honest about how my whole day would run down.

    • Yeah. Maybe a lot of people are like that now. I see it all the time when my roommate watches Steve wilkos.

  • I would break up with them! Trust is pretty much the foundation to every relationship. Without trust where do you expect the relation ship to go? On top of the lack of trust putting a spy cam in someone else's house is majorly creepy!

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    • I was in a hotel that he booked for me, so if I was going to do something shady.. he had the key LOL.

    • Still you wouldn't be comfortable with the NSA keeping your computer history so why would you be comfortable with someone videoing you without your permission.

    • No I know its just like if I were to be unfaithful that would be a stupid scenario to do it in.

  • It would be a deal breaker for me. How could I ever trust him again? He would be out of my life.

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  • well lets just say he wouldn't be my boyfriend anymore

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  • If my partner did this they will be out the door

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  • Definite deal breaker right there.

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    • It does hurt, and I want to progress the relationship, I just think sometimes people let their insecurities go too far, when he could literally have asked me, however he blamed it even more suspicious because I wasn't texting him as much, I mean common he could've easily text me

    • Exactly. Trust is important in a relationship & I don't think anything can progress otherwise. It seems to me he'll be breathing down your neck & thinking the worst of you all the time.

  • Drop him. Like now. Next it'll be what? A camera? Tracker in your car? On your phone? Paranoia is very toxic. I had a similar situation. Camera in a teddy bear he gave me for our anniversary. He was crazy thinking I was going to cheat on him. It'll only escalate from here. A relationship can't work without trust and that's something he clearly doesn't have.

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  • I would get furious and theoretically I'd say: get out as soon as possible. In reality things are always more complicated though. Are they otherwise very jealous? Are there more signs they might be obsessed in any way? Are you sure it will never happen again?

    This was a serious breach of your privacy and they did not have the right to do so.

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    • Thats the thing he's not a jealous person, and when I told him about the camera he said he was a jealous boyfriend who doesn't know why he doesn't trust anyone, that i'm too good for him and he's surprised I stayed with him because he did try to look in my phone once, the thing is though everyone assumes someone in the past cheated on him, yes that happened but in his teens which doesn't bother him but HE was the cheater in his previous 4 year relationship.

    • Cheaters (or people capable of cheating) are on average more jealous in relationships.

      It's not a good excuse though. You can give hin another chance, especially if the relationship is otherwise good, but make sure he never does anything as stupid as this again.

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