Is he wasting my time?

I met up with a guy online a few weeks back and we've been on 3 dates so far. On the second we slept together (no big deal). We still kept in touch afterwards throughout the week after the second date, but the texts became less conversational and more "small talk related" such as "hows your evening, hows work blah blah". Sometimes it took 12 hours to get a reply from him. There was no hint or initiation at hanging out again, until he text me Friday evening and I asked him what his weekend plans were. He said he wasn't doing much on the Saturday and I said neither was I. He simply said "I guess we could see each other if we're free," to which I said, that would be good. So he knew I didn't have any plans. Anyway, we still kept in touch on the Saturday but there was no mention of any plan until later in the afternoon. I went to the gym, and come 3 o clock he asked if I wanted to come over and watch a film.

So I did. We hung out. He lives about 30 minutes away, and I don't drive so getting to places can be a bit tricky. By the time I got to his, it was 5.30 and the last train was at 9.00PM. I said I could stay over if he liked, only if he didn't mind dropping me off in the morning and I'd give him some gas money for his trouble (there are no trains until later in the day on a Sunday, otherwise I would have caught the train back the next morning) He agreed, and I stayed the night.

After that night, it took him 3 whole days to text me. I understand guys need a bit of space after intimacy, so when he text me, I simply said it was good to hear from him. So far this week, it's takes him almost a day to reply back to texts and there's been no initiation of doing something together. Unlike last week, I prefer to make plans for dates with a bit more notice, instead of an hour beforehand. I even hinted when I saw him last we should go biking one day (we both like sport). I'm fairly laidback but I feel like he's wasting my time. Should I stop contacting h


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you sound like a great girl, with the exception I think you are giving yourself away too easily IMHO. ex. Free cake anyone... not highly valued. $500 cake, high value!

    My guess is yes this isn't going to work.

    There is one thought that he just isn't a planner or think ahead very well. I used to have that problem and would come up with ideas at the last minute. My girlfriend was a planner and it frustrated her. So try to engage him in discussion and see if he can be better about planning stuff ahead and if he is interested. You have risk here of he really isn't that interested, but you have to find that out.

    To me, you are building a relationship on sand and it doesn't feel good to me, but it is your life.

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    • This is really helpful, thanks. I can see I was probably too available, but I hate playing games. It's achieving that balance. My gut tells me this isn't going to work out. We just text when we're not together, which to be honest, I find tiring. I like to think he's mature enough not to simply use someone for sex and then drop them, but we're all different.

    • I think it's best to stop texting him and move on.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, I wouldn't set my sights on him if I were you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I mean... you gave him wanted he wanted - SEX... so he doesn't want to talk to you anymore.

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What Girls Said 1

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