I know morally, you're only supposed to have feelings for one person. I see posts about how if you're talking to someone, you shouldn't talk to anyone else out of respect.
Well, I've been talking to these two guys. I feel awful.. I really like both of them so very much. I'd hate to lose either of them. Why do I feel so guilty? I'm not dating either of them, yet I feel like I'm cheating!
Is it wrong to like more than one person?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think that morally it is wrong to have feelings for more than one person, nor that you are "supposed" to. Those are cultural norms and can easily be wrong (I personally think they are). Monogamy is an ideal, not a "naturally" occurring desire. It is influenced mainly by religion, and now more like tradition and norms. People don't realize that because they don't even question it, they think like you, that it is just "supposed" to be like that. It is not. Thank about it, if that is how it was "supposed" to be, don't you think it would be easier? Don't you think there would be less promiscuity, cheating, and divorce? Of course there would. The increase in promiscuity is a result of an increase in daily freedom, leading us back to our natural inclinations no longer barred down by societal past influence and religion. It is a slow process but more and more we are coming to realize that monogamy is a choice, and if it is so hard and no good for your mental health, then you can easily make different choices and still be perfectly moral. I have 3 girlfriends, they each have their own boyfriends, and I don't know anyone happier, more loving, passionate, or loyal than our little group.
The reason you feel guilty is due to cognitive dissonance. Your beliefs do not match your behaviour and it creates stress that comes out in various forms. Your beliefs are what is wrong, not your behaviour. Sadly it is very hard to change since those ideals have been drilled into your mind from a very early age and are fundamental to your world view in many ways. But change is still possible if you put the effort in.
Read Sex At Dawn, perhaps The Ethical Slut would work too. It is hard but rewarding AF.0
Most Helpful Girl
I personally think it's wrong to be talking to more than one guy at a time. Eventually, if you do decide to pick one, you led the other guy on and wasted his time. I don't think it's wrong to have a crush on more than one guy, but talking, as in actively pursuing a relationship, is a pretty crappy move.0