Is it wrong to like more than one person?

I know morally, you're only supposed to have feelings for one person. I see posts about how if you're talking to someone, you shouldn't talk to anyone else out of respect.

Well, I've been talking to these two guys. I feel awful.. I really like both of them so very much. I'd hate to lose either of them. Why do I feel so guilty? I'm not dating either of them, yet I feel like I'm cheating!

Is it wrong to like more than one person?


0|0
4|10

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think that morally it is wrong to have feelings for more than one person, nor that you are "supposed" to. Those are cultural norms and can easily be wrong (I personally think they are). Monogamy is an ideal, not a "naturally" occurring desire. It is influenced mainly by religion, and now more like tradition and norms. People don't realize that because they don't even question it, they think like you, that it is just "supposed" to be like that. It is not. Thank about it, if that is how it was "supposed" to be, don't you think it would be easier? Don't you think there would be less promiscuity, cheating, and divorce? Of course there would. The increase in promiscuity is a result of an increase in daily freedom, leading us back to our natural inclinations no longer barred down by societal past influence and religion. It is a slow process but more and more we are coming to realize that monogamy is a choice, and if it is so hard and no good for your mental health, then you can easily make different choices and still be perfectly moral. I have 3 girlfriends, they each have their own boyfriends, and I don't know anyone happier, more loving, passionate, or loyal than our little group.

    The reason you feel guilty is due to cognitive dissonance. Your beliefs do not match your behaviour and it creates stress that comes out in various forms. Your beliefs are what is wrong, not your behaviour. Sadly it is very hard to change since those ideals have been drilled into your mind from a very early age and are fundamental to your world view in many ways. But change is still possible if you put the effort in.

    Read Sex At Dawn, perhaps The Ethical Slut would work too. It is hard but rewarding AF.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • I personally think it's wrong to be talking to more than one guy at a time. Eventually, if you do decide to pick one, you led the other guy on and wasted his time. I don't think it's wrong to have a crush on more than one guy, but talking, as in actively pursuing a relationship, is a pretty crappy move.

    0|0
    0|0
    • If it's not serious between you and either one of the guys I wouldn't consider it bad/unethical.

What Guys Said 9

  • Well, honestly speaking it's morally wrong to like two people at a time however emotions and feelings are very strange indeed so I guess what you are saying can happen also, but then you said you are not dating either of them, hence given your current situation it would not be wrong to like both of them ( as friends or more I don't know how you see that), but if your feelings remain this way then a time will come where you will have to choose one among the two.

    It will only be wrong when you choose one, you date on person and yet you continue to like the other person the same way as it was before then it would be morally wrong and plus you will be seen as an emotionally greedy person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • A lot of these answers aren't really answering your question.

    I've thought a lot about this, because I too find myself sometimes liking more than 1 girl.

    I have decided that there is nothing wrong with this at all, humans are meant to love and feel loved. So it's absolutely fine to like multiple people.

    HOWEVER there is a very fine line to this. You 100% should not attempt to date one of them until you are completely over the other one. And I mean completely. It is not morally right to be dating one person while still having feelings for another, and besides, you owe it to the person that you're dating that you are fully dedicated and confident in your decision to date them.

    Good luck and I hope this helps!!

    0|0
    0|0
  • its not like you could help it.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's not the question.. The question is, is what I've been doing considered unethical?

    • but thats the thing, if it was unethical, then you're fucked both ways because attraction isn't a choice.

      now you could take certain measures to reduce level of attraction, like avoiding, ignoring, etc, but if you found yourself attracted to another guy while currently in a relationship then thats what I call shit happens. it's not wrong

  • I don't think it's wrong unless you start dating one of them and keep talking to and having feelings for the other one

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well, you've answered your own question. It isn't inherently "unethical", but just do your best to ensure no one gets hurt by what you're doing. Don't make any romantic moves on either one until you're sure of your decision. Once you do, make sure there is a clean break with the other.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No. There is nothing wrong with it. Might get confusing down the road, though. Just make sure you're all on the same page.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No but it's damn greedy lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nothing wrong.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You have to decide, you like them as what? friend? if so don't feel guilty.. if not.. well i have some bad news for you..

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I think it's okay as long as it's not serious, but you will have to pick one soon unfortunately... can't have your cake and eat it too

    0|0
    0|0
  • There is nothing wrong with liking more than one person, however this usually means neither is good enough and the ideal person is one with a combination of their characters.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nothing wrong with that.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...