How do you know you're ready to get back into the dating scene?

I'm just getting out of a long-term relationship and I'm in no rush to start dating again, but I was just wondering how long it takes other people to get back into dating.

I've usually found myself in serious relationships and have never really done the whole dating thing. Can anyone offer some advice?

Thanks!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it all depends on the length of the last relationship and the level of emotional involvement. Someone once told me that for every year you're with someone, that's how long it takes you to get over them, I don't think that I buy into that. My last relationship was 4.5 years long, I last talked to her in December of 2006. I started dating a bit by summer of 2007 but kept it mostly light-hearted because I knew wasn't ready to jump back into a committed relationship, it wouldn't have been fair to any potential partner for me to bring that kind of emotional baggage into a new relationship. I feel like you've got to get back to knowing who you are as an individual, which can take a while if you've been intertwined with someone else for any lengthy period. Really you've just got to get back to knowing who you are, for me it took a while, for some folks it may not take as long, everyone's different. Whatever you do it's best to be up front about your intentions, as someone else's feelings are also involved. Hope that makes sense, it's late :)

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    • I couldn't agree with you more. it always takes me longer to get over someone as I always get emotionally attached. but you are right when you say that one should get to know themselves as an individual again as being in a long term relationship causes when to lose the "I" as you've gotten so used to the 'us' and 'we'.

What Guys Said 2

  • Personally, I have been in a lot of serious relationships as well. The only problem with being in a lot of serious relationships is that more you get into, and the longer you are in them, the more and longer it hurts when you break up. I look at emotional wounds as like physical wounds. The bigger and deeper the wounds, the longer they take to heal. I think I have finally learned somewhat of a lesson when it comes to dating. I am learning to just date people and not get so emotionally involved before actually finding out whether they would be long-term relationship material or not and whether they would be easy to move on from in a break-up or not. I don't date women anymore who would get nasty with me if we broke up. I have also learned how to draw boundaries and keep a lot of them as just friends instead of jumping into relationships with people. Not sure if any of this helps or not but good luck!

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    • That actually does make sense though. I mean I'm finding that a lot of guys out there just want to date around and have a good time. I on the other hand have take things much too seriously. I know I'm only 23 but it's very difficult to be around people my age especially guys because I know they just want to fool around and have a good time.

      perhaps I should just take it easy and just be single for a while and wait for the boys to grow up into real men. they still have big shoes to fill.

    • Yeah, I think everyone matures differently, and if you're only 23, you still have time to find a decent guy who is mature. I hope you find the right one for you!

  • i don't know. I'm going on 7 years without dating. I just don't have the time. I don't think there is a time limit. I think it's just whenever your ready. cool thing about this is that you have options. so if your going to date, then play the field and have fun.lol for the both of us, because my career demands most of my time- good luck - j

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What Girls Said 1

  • I just got out of a 3 year relationship, I say to date around but be careful you don't wind up in another serious relationship to quick. If you are not used to the dating scene try group dates with friends and there friends. Just have fun and don't rush anything.

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