Is it okay to ask my boyfriend not to talk to someone?

For the record, I don't care if my boyfriend has friends that are girls. His best friend is a girl and my best friend is a guy, so it bothers neither of us if we have friends of the opposite sex. I also trust my boyfriend completely.

We both met this girl at the same time. She's the best friend of one of his girl friends. I don't like this girl. I don't trust her. I get this vibe that she's a bitch and I also just don't trust her around my boyfriend. My boyfriend is bi-sexual and jokes around about being the "gay best friend" a lot, which he basically is, haha. I They were talking at the party we met her at and today, when his friend brought her up, he was like "I basically became her designated gay best friend." Then he asked for her number or snapchat.

Like I said, I trust him completely. I just don't like or trust her and I'm trusting my gut on this one that there is something off with her. I'm not upset with him for asking for her number because I know he doesn't mean anything by it and he even asked for it in front of me so I know he's not trying to hide anything.

I'm not a jealous girlfriend. I'm territorial, but not jealous. I just don't like the idea of him talking with her. Would it be bad to talk to him about how this would make me uncomfortable?


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  • It seems you are already open about that kind of stuff. I'm assuming you've had talks about guy/girl friends as you've both got them. Communication is healthy, if you have a concern talk to him about it. I've had bad vibes from people and been right, it's always good to listen to your gut. I feel like men tend to be less intuitive than women (yes I said it 😜) but I swear its true. I've warned bf/exbfs of unsavory characters and they don't listen and learn the hard way. Dont be pushy though, say your piece and he's gonna do what he's gonna do. You've already established it's okay to have friends of the opposite sex in your relationship and you need to respect that he will choose his friends based on his thoughts decisions in the same way you would with a male friend.

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What Guys Said 6

  • No it's not ok. If you trust your boyfriend then you should trust him to do the right thing if something ever happens. It is not your business to decide who your boyfriend can talk to,

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  • I say yes but don't be over controlling

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    • Yeah, I won't. I'm really not controlling, but I just don't like her and I don't have a good feeling about her. She knows he's taken, and his friend says that she's interested in someone at her school (we go to separate schools), but I just don't trust it. I'm sure she is interested in someone else, but despite my boyfriend being her "gay best friend", he's not gay, haha. Obviously. I've been up close and personal with girls getting involved or trying to ruin a relationship so I just want to be safe.

  • You definitely need a straight man

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    • Well, he's bisexual and I'm bi-curious. He still "wears the pants" in the relationship, but he's more the girl than I am. I've always been a bit of a tomboy. He's very masculine as well, but he's got his more feminine qualities, haha. I don't care that he's not straight. I know he wants me and only me and I'm not insecure or worried about that with him.

    • Ok just be yourself tell him what you don't like.

  • It's possessive

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  • do you have guy friends? if yes then he is aloud to have chick friends. If you feel like the girl is going to steal him away, talk to him about your concerns.

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    • If you read the description, yes I do have guy friends. My best friend is a guy and I talk to him almost every day. He's like a brother to me. My boyfriend's best friend is a girl. He talks to her often as well. I don't care that he does. We both have friends of the opposite sex and I don't care if he talks to other girls. I just don't like this one and don't trust her. I trust him, but she makes me uncomfortable and I also don't know her and neither does he really.

    • then let it be?

    • Okay, never mind then.

  • You cannot tell him how to live his life OR who he can and cannot talk to. You CAN decide, if he talks to someone and you do not like it, to dump him. Would U like it if he told U how to live UR life?

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    • I didn't say I would tell him he could not talk to her. Asking is not the same as telling. I'm not giving him an ultimatum. I don't want to be the dictator of his life. I wouldn't care as much if he talked to someone that I didn't have a bad vibe about. I just have a bad gut feeling about this girl. I'm not opposed to him having friends of the opposite sex nor do I care much if he makes new ones of the opposite sex.

    • If U have a gut feeling, maybe feel it, it may be right.

    • I'm a pretty chill person honestly. I don't really get jealous. Yes, I can be territorial sometimes, but I'm really not a jealous person. I do trust him, but I just don't trust her. That's all. I would never want to seem controlling to him nor seem like a controlling person to anyone. That's not me.

What Girls Said 9

  • Similar happened with my ex and one of our "friends" that was a girl. At first it didn't bother me that much, I liked that girl and I practically forced them to be good friends as well (I thought they would like each other because of this one hobby they had in common). But after awhile, I started feeling the same way you do, without any proofs really. He had other girl friends and I had guy friends, in all 3 years none of them ever bothered me. Until this chick. It was just a gut feeling, you know. I told him about my concerns and he was convincing me that I was wrong and that I'm overreacting. But he did stopped hanging out with her. He didn't like the idea but he did it for me. I and I was calm and happy. Few months later, I caught him cheating on me with her.

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  • You should just tell him your feelings on the girl. It's better for you to get it out of your system and for him to know.

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    • Yes, I think I will. I'm not the controlling type. I just don't like her and don't trust her and I also don't know her, so I just feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. I trust him, but not her.

  • No, you should tell him exactly how you feel. If yuo keep it to yourself it will just eat away at you and unitenitally you might end up being resentful towards him etc. I think you should just tell him, that way it's off your chest.

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    • Okay, I think I will. I know I can talk to him about anything. He's let me know that if I feel uncomfortable about something that I should let him know and not keep it to himself. I trust him and I want him to know how I feel, but it's always hard to bring up something delicate like this into a conversation.

    • Yeah I know how you feel, what i would do is bring it up when you're having fun or chilled time or whatever you guys do and say 'look (bf's name) i love you and trust you and i know i can tell you anything etc... but there is something that is starting to really bother me and for me anyway it's starting to affect our relationship... then go into it' or along those lines

  • I think you should let him know your feelings about it. Tell him the vibe you get and how uncomfortable you are, and re emphasize that is just this one girl who makes you feel that way.

    And I think I would end by telling him that you also trust his judgement and the choice is ultimately his, but you wanted him to know how you felt about it

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    • I like this idea. Thank you. I want him to know I trust him and that I'm not afraid he's going to cheat on me. I also don't want him thinking I'm controlling, which I don't think he would because he knows I'm a pretty chill person. Thank you for your advice. :)

  • If anything, I think you should tell your boyfriend your concerns and feelings about this girl. Hopefully it'll cause him to open his eyes and see if he feels the same that you do about her. But I think it could be a big mistake to come right out as tell him he can't talk to her.

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    • I would never tell him he can't talk to someone. If anything I would just ask him if he could not talk to someone. I'm not a controlling girlfriend or person. I just get a bad vibe about this girl. I do want to just talk with him about her.

    • But by telling/asking him not to, you are trying to control him. just tell him your concerns and let him decide for himself to not talk to her.

  • It's not exactly right to ask someone not to talk to someone. However, if you want a healthy relationship, whichever gender role you are playing, there needs to be comminication between you or bad energy will build and tear you apart. I would tell him honestly that she makes you uncomfortable the way she jokes and the overall vibe she puts off.

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  • If he knows your not jealous than yes
    But it will be awkward for the three of you!
    I would say do what you think is right!!! ✌🏼️

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  • If it was me in this situation, I would say something. I would just be sure to make it clear you aren't telling him he can't talk to her, just that it would make you uncomfortable and you wanted to make your feelings known.

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    • Yeah, I won't say that I don't want him talking to her. I will make it very clear that I just feel uncomfortable about it. I don't want to come off as jealous or controlling. I'm not. I just have a bad vibe about her.

    • That's totally valid. It'll be better to get it off your chest and hopefully he'll be up for having the conversation. Good luck!

  • it depend of your boyfriend. I don't talk to other guy and he don't talk to other girls he work for us but it really depend

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