To those who approach, how sure were you that the other person you asked would say yes?

Tell me some stories about times you approached someone asking them out. How sure were you in those instances that the person you asked would say yes?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was either sure enough to ask them, but sometimes I read some signals wrong.. Which led to rejection. It didn't bother me, I just moved on

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Most Helpful Guy

  • When I asked my current girlfriend out, I was pretty sure she was going to say yes. It turned out she had been waiting and hoping for me to!

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    • But for you how often did it not turn out successful when you asked?

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    • And in all those instances where you weren't successful were you feeling sure beforehand that theyd say yes?

    • Being rejected sucks so yes, I thought I would be successful or I wouldn't have tried.

What Girls Said 16

  • I was kind of sure? Maybe like 70% sure that the answer would be yes.
    My story is a bit different than most in that my boyfriend actually asked me out first, which I declined because I really wasn't sure. I wasn't ready to put my heart on the line again after my ex, nor did I want to risk losing the friendship I had with my boyfriend in case things didn't go quite as well romantically. So anyhow, I turned him down, but we continued hanging out regularly (on a platonic level).

    Roughly two months later, I realized with the help of a friend that I did care for this guy, when she asked me how I'd feel if he told me he was into this other chick and obviously that wouldn't have sat well with me. So I asked my now-boyfriend to join me for coffee, that I wanted to ask him something. Then proceeded to ask him out in the most awkward way possible. Asking him if he remembered that question he asked me back in October, , to which he replied that he asked me many things back then. Eventually I realized that there was no way to beat around the bush and straight up asked if he'd be down for being in a relationship.

    He replied with saying he's flattered, but very surprised. That he'll need some time to kind of get over the shock, or something like that. I didn't really know what that answer meant so I just went nc for a week, till he invited me out for coffee/dinner the next weekend and turned the conversation to what we'd both expect and not tolerate in a relationship.
    ...&the rest is history. 👌

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  • I knew because we were on good terms to start with.

    If im having to advise guys, then i'd say being unsure is also okay. We let fear stop us from doig so many things and it's quite sad really. If people just went out and kicked ass without being so scared, we'd get more done, myself included.

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  • Lol once you fail... u must try, try again! 96% of my life they've approached. The other 4% well my first sentence explain's it all kiddo. Hasn't stopped me from flirting, now has it? It only fuel's my fire and perfects my craft! I don't worry about it much, it is what it is, baby love. You have to throw yourself out there, except the worse and pray for the best. There is no crime nor sin in trying or failing #YOLO
    And wtf am I constantly getting pushed down on the tag updates @toad-1 ? Do we have beef?

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  • Like 0- percent sure. I just had to let him know haha!

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  • I haven't yet done that in real.. cuz I am not looking for a relationship and don't even plan to date anyone

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  • I only did that once and ended up getting rejected for being "too tall".. No thanks, not again.
    But I've worked on my way to show someone I'm interested now so they usually do the rest.

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  • I've never done that :C I'm a huge chicken face

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  • I never asked someone out.
    but I did start out conversations with guys in bars and stuff.
    how did I know? basically he looks at me
    if I stare back and he is still looking, I smile and see how he reacrs.
    if he s still responsive I go to him

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  • I've never approached anyone like that but I'd have to be like 98% certain first lol

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  • 100% sure, the kitteh has game. :P

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  • I haven't done that so far xD

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  • You are never exactly sure. You just cross your fingers and hope so.

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  • I've only approached once and it turned out well... I wasn't completely sure. Like 60% I think

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  • I could never be 100% sure but if you don't take a little risk you never get to gain anything

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    • Have you ever been very sure.. maybe not 100% but you felt good about it, then asked but still got rejected?

    • yes it has happened to me but it was still worth putting my self out there.

  • I asked her laughted so I walked away and then about a week later he said he liked me but by then it was to late

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  • I don't

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What Guys Said 11

  • 3rd girlfriend I approached in a coffee shop, left a message on my tablet screen asking if i could join her, and then asked her to look after my stuff while i went to get a drink.

    5th girlfriend I started talking to her on a stuck train about her book. After we arrived 4 hours late, I just flat out asked her if she had plans and wanted to grab dinner.

    I was fairly sure in those instances they'd accept because of prior interaction so 70/30 maybe? I've been rejected a few times too, so the way i see it, at worst it's going to be 50/50 because she either says yes or no lol.

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  • never sure.

    i just did it cause fuck it man, we only live once. every moment in my life was worth it so far, whether i got a cold shoulder or she was interested in me.

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  • I am not sure if I have ever asked anyone out, definitely not cold calling style - We meet and get to know each other, I might like her then sometimes we end up together - If I actually had to ask someone out I would be struck dumb so all approaches were slightly accidental with some successful and some failures.

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  • I'm never completely sure, I had at the least a moderate chance she will say yes. If she put up talking to me initially a few conversations, therefore rejection odds aren't high, they are moderate to low.

    I just believe that with all the "stranger danger" going on with women these days, that a cold approach and asking for a date on the VERY first interaction doesn't work. Gotta use the strategy of buttering them up to earn their trust before the aggressive move is made. :)

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  • Not very. I know what I want and I know what I have to offer. I'm not going to waste time or energy looking for certainty.

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  • When I know what I want, I get it
    Nomsayin?

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  • I don't, so that's why I don't approach.

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  • I only approach when they give me hints

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    • And how sure were you in those instances?

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    • Were they all successful? Did they all say yes?

    • well it's not just as simple as "hey will you go out with me?" "Yes or no"
      Sometimes they were simply being nice and gave me their number, but there isn't always a follow through with it.

  • If I want it, I go for it. What's the worst that can happen?

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  • Almost always pretty certain. I can read most people pretty well, there are exceptions.

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  • I've never asked someone out like that.

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