I was kind of sure? Maybe like 70% sure that the answer would be yes. My story is a bit different than most in that my boyfriend actually asked me out first, which I declined because I really wasn't sure. I wasn't ready to put my heart on the line again after my ex, nor did I want to risk losing the friendship I had with my boyfriend in case things didn't go quite as well romantically. So anyhow, I turned him down, but we continued hanging out regularly (on a platonic level).
Roughly two months later, I realized with the help of a friend that I did care for this guy, when she asked me how I'd feel if he told me he was into this other chick and obviously that wouldn't have sat well with me. So I asked my now-boyfriend to join me for coffee, that I wanted to ask him something. Then proceeded to ask him out in the most awkward way possible. Asking him if he remembered that question he asked me back in October, , to which he replied that he asked me many things back then. Eventually I realized that there was no way to beat around the bush and straight up asked if he'd be down for being in a relationship.
He replied with saying he's flattered, but very surprised. That he'll need some time to kind of get over the shock, or something like that. I didn't really know what that answer meant so I just went nc for a week, till he invited me out for coffee/dinner the next weekend and turned the conversation to what we'd both expect and not tolerate in a relationship. ...&the rest is history. 👌
I knew because we were on good terms to start with.
If im having to advise guys, then i'd say being unsure is also okay. We let fear stop us from doig so many things and it's quite sad really. If people just went out and kicked ass without being so scared, we'd get more done, myself included.
Lol once you fail... u must try, try again! 96% of my life they've approached. The other 4% well my first sentence explain's it all kiddo. Hasn't stopped me from flirting, now has it? It only fuel's my fire and perfects my craft! I don't worry about it much, it is what it is, baby love. You have to throw yourself out there, except the worse and pray for the best. There is no crime nor sin in trying or failing #YOLO And wtf am I constantly getting pushed down on the tag updates @toad-1 ? Do we have beef?
I never asked someone out. but I did start out conversations with guys in bars and stuff. how did I know? basically he looks at me if I stare back and he is still looking, I smile and see how he reacrs. if he s still responsive I go to him
3rd girlfriend I approached in a coffee shop, left a message on my tablet screen asking if i could join her, and then asked her to look after my stuff while i went to get a drink.
5th girlfriend I started talking to her on a stuck train about her book. After we arrived 4 hours late, I just flat out asked her if she had plans and wanted to grab dinner.
I was fairly sure in those instances they'd accept because of prior interaction so 70/30 maybe? I've been rejected a few times too, so the way i see it, at worst it's going to be 50/50 because she either says yes or no lol.
I am not sure if I have ever asked anyone out, definitely not cold calling style - We meet and get to know each other, I might like her then sometimes we end up together - If I actually had to ask someone out I would be struck dumb so all approaches were slightly accidental with some successful and some failures.
I'm never completely sure, I had at the least a moderate chance she will say yes. If she put up talking to me initially a few conversations, therefore rejection odds aren't high, they are moderate to low.
I just believe that with all the "stranger danger" going on with women these days, that a cold approach and asking for a date on the VERY first interaction doesn't work. Gotta use the strategy of buttering them up to earn their trust before the aggressive move is made. :)