I liked this girl for a pretty long time, confessed my feelings last year. She reciprocated that she was interested in me as well, but after her friends dissuaded her (they said I am two years younger and I still have some years of college education to go while she is going to start working). As she is someone who is easily swayed by friends, she eventually told me that she wants to give up on me in August. I continued to chase her in December after thinking long about it.
She would show some positive signs, like sharing her deepest fears and desires with me (she only shared it with me and one of her best friends, since she told me that I am the only one that can understand her and I will not judge her), and even told her relatives that she would marry me if she starts to consider a relationship! She would also confide in me for advice in her work and life, and while she is not interested to go out on a date with me, she asked me if I could teach her Mathematics privately. She would also initiate conversations too, even though she knew clearly that I liked her.
Yet, she is still not willing to go out on a date with me (her friends told her to keep a distance away from me), so we text each other all the time instead. When I flirt with her through texts ("You look gorgeous in the photo."), she would laugh and say that I am too biased. Whenever I bring up that I would never give up on her again, she would tell me to forget it, because she would *never* consider me and I am too young for her. She even sent a long text to explain why the relationship would not work out.
Last week, I discovered that she talked to her friend about me (who had been dissuading her not to consider me), even revealing the texts I made with her.
So friends, what should I do now? Should I start to back off and give her the cold shoulder to see her reaction? Or should I just persist on (but I may be permentantly trapped in the friendzone). Please help!
- A Man In Need
Most Helpful Girl
Confront her and ask her does she truly like you with considering her friends advice and if she says yes then good for you but if she still says no move on. I think it's better that way since if you guys started dating and a guy asked her out and she says no but she was able to persuad her a little and her friends like him better than you how would you know she won't just dump you for the other dude. Her interest in you should not be changed due to her friends opinion. It's not like you are dating her AND her friends.1
Most Helpful Guy
Ok Man in need.
This would be my approach to this particular situation. I would indeed graciously back off and give her the cold shoulder. She will want to know what's up with you sudden change.
My reply would be simple. I have shown you who I am , an I was not well received. I would add that her thoughts about you were those of others and were not her origionally thoughts. And simply walk away...
I'm not saying this is the end of the two of you. If she has a Conscience this will eat at her more than you know. While in essence giving her an out and holding the door open for her lol she won't want to walk through it. It may take a little while but she will seek to find you again1