Should I give her the cold shoulder?


I liked this girl for a pretty long time, confessed my feelings last year. She reciprocated that she was interested in me as well, but after her friends dissuaded her (they said I am two years younger and I still have some years of college education to go while she is going to start working). As she is someone who is easily swayed by friends, she eventually told me that she wants to give up on me in August. I continued to chase her in December after thinking long about it.

She would show some positive signs, like sharing her deepest fears and desires with me (she only shared it with me and one of her best friends, since she told me that I am the only one that can understand her and I will not judge her), and even told her relatives that she would marry me if she starts to consider a relationship! She would also confide in me for advice in her work and life, and while she is not interested to go out on a date with me, she asked me if I could teach her Mathematics privately. She would also initiate conversations too, even though she knew clearly that I liked her.

Yet, she is still not willing to go out on a date with me (her friends told her to keep a distance away from me), so we text each other all the time instead. When I flirt with her through texts ("You look gorgeous in the photo."), she would laugh and say that I am too biased. Whenever I bring up that I would never give up on her again, she would tell me to forget it, because she would *never* consider me and I am too young for her. She even sent a long text to explain why the relationship would not work out.

Last week, I discovered that she talked to her friend about me (who had been dissuading her not to consider me), even revealing the texts I made with her.

So friends, what should I do now? Should I start to back off and give her the cold shoulder to see her reaction? Or should I just persist on (but I may be permentantly trapped in the friendzone). Please help!

- A Man In Need


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Confront her and ask her does she truly like you with considering her friends advice and if she says yes then good for you but if she still says no move on. I think it's better that way since if you guys started dating and a guy asked her out and she says no but she was able to persuad her a little and her friends like him better than you how would you know she won't just dump you for the other dude. Her interest in you should not be changed due to her friends opinion. It's not like you are dating her AND her friends.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok Man in need.
    This would be my approach to this particular situation. I would indeed graciously back off and give her the cold shoulder. She will want to know what's up with you sudden change.
    My reply would be simple. I have shown you who I am , an I was not well received. I would add that her thoughts about you were those of others and were not her origionally thoughts. And simply walk away...
    I'm not saying this is the end of the two of you. If she has a Conscience this will eat at her more than you know. While in essence giving her an out and holding the door open for her lol she won't want to walk through it. It may take a little while but she will seek to find you again

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What Girls Said 6

  • If you want?

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  • Honestly back away. This girl is not going to be with you. You don't want to always wait for her and waste other good opportunities that might pass by. Watch her see you move on and regret it. It's her lost

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  • Persist. But i am a girl.. so i am biased. 🙃

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  • Move on. 1) she's not that into you, she likes your attention 2) she's just not worth it

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  • She needs to realize she can't live her life for her friends and has to start living for herself. Everyone deserves a chance and the reason her friends give are frankly stupid.

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  • Definitely give her a dose of the cold shoulder a lot of people don't know what they have until it's gone. I'm sorry but she's told you nothing can happen so you need to respect her wishes at the moment and focus on doing what makes you happy. I know it's hard not to think about her but you need to focus on yourself and making you happy if she realises what she had and comes running back. It's not giving up on her it's just taking some time to think about you and are you really wanting to be with someone that treats you this way?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Her friend is jealous and it seems the girl is siding with her friend and thinks her advice is right. I think at this moment, you should instantly ghost her. Don't block her from social media but just stop talking to her. Avoid her. Ignore her. Make it known that your options are open.

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  • She's obviously not that into you if her friends can convince her otherwise. Find a girl who is really into you

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  • Yeah man move on.

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