My best friend is a girl who has a boyfriend that lives 400 miles away. She acts like I'm her boyfriend, but doesn't want to commit or break it off?

I've been after this girl for the majority of my college career, and basically every body in my year group, including her, knows it. She has had a boyfriend who lives on the other side of the country for about a year and a half, and she sees him 3 times a year for a week or two. When she isn't with her boyfriend and is alone with me she holds my hand, flirts and gives the occasional kiss. When any of our school friends are about, she ignores me. She keeps hinting that she wants me to take things further, but I feel too guilty to go that far when she has a boyfriend, all I can think of is the other guy who is being cheated on. I told her this about 8 months ago, but she hasn't made any real try to either break it off with either me or him. She just got back from her trip up to see her boyfriend and told me she thought she was pregnant. It turns out she wasn't, but clearly she isn't trying that hard to choose if she decided to have sex with him. Everything points me to being better off ending it with her, but I'm her only close friend. She used to self harm and nearly overdosed a few times before all this started, and I don't want it to happen again. It probably doesn't help that I'm completely smitten with her.

What do I do? This boyfriend on the side business is killing me, but I don't see how I can break it off, either?


0|1
4|9

Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop being fucking weak bro. This sounds like the story of a guy who will get shit on and later complain he's too nice. Yeah. Stop being such a pushover. It's not only women who are pushovers. She's taking advantage of you. It's not your fault she has no friends. Uh hello maybe there's a reason for that as she sounds like a huge attention whore bitch. When a girl has no friends it's a red flag. Grow a pair, put yourself first and get the fuck away from her.

    0|1
    0|0
    • You Miss (?) should run for president. I would totally vote for you. You get shit done.

      We are going on a 'date' in about and hour. What the hell do I even say? "I got advice from the Internet, they say you're a 'huge attention whore bitch' " probably wouldn't end ALL that well.

    • ^this.

    • Tell her that for a girl in a relationship it's getting too close and you need some space.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Take her somewhere nice... Have a good time.. Clear the air... calm ur hearts and just say it clearly... I know its not as easy as it sounds but u need to ask her to choose between u and him.. that she is important to u... U want her to be ur girl alone. Ok

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • It sounds like you just need to break it off with her. Why would you ever be so attracted to someone who is so inconsiderate? It isn't your fault if she gets upset when you tell her that it is over. At this point she would be stupid to not expect it. Basically she is just keeping you around for convinence, not because she actually cares about you.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Your friend sounds like a slutty douchebag who has no regards about the feelings of others. And yes, a girl can be a douchebag.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You need to tell her boyfriend that she is trying to hook up with you.. even though you dont want to hurt her, but you need to tell her boyfriend not to tell her the reason he's breaking up with her.. then you need to go to her when she's upset and tell her the truth

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • "but I'm her only close friend"

    That's not your problem. Leave her. She wants both but deserves neither of you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Leave her alone. She is seeking attention.

    Source: Personal experience and in addition quite a few guys I know have experienced this as well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • To quote chris rock she is keeping your penis in a glass case only to brake open in case of emergency (she can't find anyone better at the moment) she will never fuck you so stop being a bitch boy and go get another women who you can actually fuck

    0|0
    0|0
  • You either leave hed, or confront her about this because there are girls who do it just for fun, and you'll be in loss later, because she's already with someone. Be wise man!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Leave her, she doesn't deserve you.
    Could you please answer my 2 questions too, I see the girl I like in 2 days again, and I am not sure what to do.
    Thank you for the effort.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Been there done that move on

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not your place to judge

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just tell her, what you want.
    Could you please answer my questions too, I see the girl I like in 2 days again, and I am not sure what to do.
    Thank you for the effort.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...