SO loves visiting strip clubs?

[Anonymous]

So me and my ex were together almost 3 years. Recently we have been trying to get back together and make things work, and we are basically together without being officially back together if that makes sense. One issue that I'm having a hard time wrestling with is his love for going to strip clubs. I have nothing against strippers. I have nothing against strip clubs if you're a single guy. With that said, I feel like if you're in a committed relationship with someone it's just disrespectful to go if you're SO has issues with it. Personally I do have issues with it. First of all, we had discussed strip clubs before we were both 21 (we'd been dating about a year and a half by then) and for the majority of our relationship he thought strip clubs were stupid and pointless because why go pay to see a naked girl when you have a girlfriend right? Well after he turned 21 his coworkers convinced him to go to one and ever since then he now loves going supposedly for cheap steak and drinks. He knew from day one of our relationship how I felt about strip clubs and relationships. So now especially since we aren't official he is very open about how he loves to go to them and always jokes about needing one's, which makes me more frustrated since he always said he wasn't going to look at the girls. And the other day we kind of started arguing about it and he pretty much said that this is reason he doesn't tell me when he goes and that he refuses to stop going and if it affects our relationship that much to me then I need to move on. So I'm at a loss here at what to do honestly because I hate giving up on a relationship, but I just don't know if I can accept him going to strip clubs whenever he feels like it. Any advice would be much appreciate, thank you.

[dudeinohio]

It's just visual.. and social. Every married guy I know who goes to them sees them as entertainment and a place to unwind. Especially when a group of guys goes.

Considering you aren't in an "official" relationship, this also gives him the "green light" in his mind to not limit himself at all.

[orphan]

how much time has passed between breakup and reconciliation?

[Asker]

So its been almost 3 months maybe since we "broke up" but we were only apart like 2 weeks before we were talking again and trying to work things out. We've been trying to take things slowly.

[orphan]

well... i dont really advise 'working it out' after you've had so long to.. but you seem determined..

next time he goes to the strip club, you go w/ him... and have your fun as well. you may prefer to do numerous other things, but at least you're doing it together.

[Asker]

No I've gone with him before and its not enjoyable or fun. I don't find girls attractive and even if I did If I'm with one person I only want to see/be with them.

[orphan]

well relationships are about sacrifices.

someone's gotta give.

apparently he's taking the inch you're giving him and goin' a mile just because you two aren't "officially" together. give him an ultimatum.

do you really wanna be w/ someone who won't make sacrifices for you?

[rsstanford]

Trust. That's it , you can always go with him. It's not a huge problem if you trust him and you aren't insecure. It's ok for him to go once in a while but every weekend could be a problem. If you aren't secure with the relationship and trust him then leave him alone.

[Crazeynate]

Hmm. I have had several gf's that had just as much fun as me there or more. It always spiced up our relationship with or without bringing a dancer home. But it is definitely not meant for a jealous or insecure girlfriend..

[existing_not_living]

He doesn't seem to respect you enough to me. :/

[Twolips]

Given ultimatum