Is he not interested?

I have been casually dating this guy and I am always the first to text him but then after I text him we text all day long. Does me texting him first mean he's not as interested? Is it true girls should wait for men to text them first or do guys like being text first?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're always the one who contacts him, it's hard for you to know how important you really are to him. But don't jump to conclusions yet because there may be two very distinct things going on here.

    First one is that maybe he doesn't text you first because he may be busy doing something, or distracted. But if he likes you, regardless of how busy he is, he will at one point stop what he's doing, think of you, and then wonder why you haven't texted him. When that happens, there's a high chance he'll text you or call you or whatever. xP The problem is that if this doesn't happen for like, 3 days or so... it means you sort of don't go through his mind at all. I doubt it's that though because you said you two text all day.

    Which leads me to the second point, which is that maybe he's just shy and never knows what to say first, so he's always counting on you to text him. xP This was my case, except it wasn't texting it, it was MSN. I'd be dying to talk to this girl, but wouldn't know what to say. And I'd never say anything out of fear of sounding lame or boring. But once she'd messaged, we'd talk for hours. Maybe it's the same thing with this guy. =p

    Either way, forget this nonsense about guys always having to be the ones to text first. It doesn't matter! The only thing you've got to worry about, is to not be too clingy and give him some space if he needs it. If he's not very responsive when you text him, it usually means he's busy doing something else and needs some time for himself.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I can never text first, I never know what to say for fear of sounding like an idiot. Even a basic 'hey, how are you?' seems to elude me. I mean I love texting my girlfriend and I do text her all day when she texts me, but I just find it hard to start things off myself.

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  • I used to go out with a chick that I always had to text first. It didn't make me feel good, but I didn't really have the courage to bring it up because it seemed so small of a deal. But I wish I did talk to her about it.

    In the end, it doesn't mean anything that bad that he doesn't text you that much, but if it starts to bug you (which I'm guessing it already does) just talk to him about it.

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  • It really does not matter who texts first, its more if it continues beyond that point. Don't over think it!

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    • Are you kidding. it totally matters...to girls!

    • I If he still hasn't then maybe I would think otherwise, Remember, GUYS are different from girls! lol

  • Try not to text him first. Wait, wait and if there still isn't any text message on your phone, wait. That makes you Hard To Get and therefore a bit more wanted :) Of course we like to be texted first and I guess your crush is now used that you text first. Wait and make him wonder... :>

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    • I am in the EXACT same position as the question asker. I have been casually seeing this guy for a month now and although he has texted me first a few times, I am almost always the one initiating contact. When I do text him, he responds back right away and keeps the conversation going, and we end up texting for hours. I do not plan on texting him again unless he texts me first, I figure if he likes me and wants to talk to me he will break the silence! I hope it works :-).

    • Same thing with me. I been casually dating this guy 4 months. we go through stages.. last month he was texting me every day first and I expected it but then one day I contacted him first to ask him something and ever since that day I've been texting him first every day. now he's going on spring break so I plan not to talk to him at all so I hope he contacts me. is that a bad sign if he doesnt? id just assume he's having fun?

    • I texted him first twice over spring break and he always kept the conversation going. He seemed to be really busy with friends, so I don't think it's a bad sign if he doesn't text you. I ended up not texting him for a few days this week, and he ended up texting me first today! I guess the advice worked! Hang in there :-).

  • Does me texting him first mean he's not as interested? -- no, it can mean many other things as well, such as:

    - he's got a shy streak

    - you 'beat him to it' / have an earlier schedule

    - he doesn't want to come across as pushy or overly interested

    - his phone sucks and it's much easier to hit "reply" than to start a new message

    - what he might text about isn't as obvious to him, so he prefers to reply off of your messages

    Is it true girls should wait for men to text them first? -- No, never wait, that mindset went out 2 generations ago. If you wait and he's being shy, you'll possibly have a falling out and you just may miss the boat with an otherwise terrific guy.

    .. or do guys like being text first? -- EVERYONE likes to be text'd first IF it's from someone they like or want to know better.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I don't understand why does it have to be so difficult, either he text you first or you do.

    you ve already had been dating so its not like he is still trying to win you, he already did. He already got the dates so now it doesn't matter who is texting who first, as long as you don't seem desperate and clingy.

    Me and my boyfriend text each other all the time and specialy when it first started we used to text like crazy and it didn't matter and still doesn't matter to me who texts first as long as I get a reply, that's my rule! he usually wakes up first so I got a good morning message way before I have to wake up!

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  • What I would do is seriously find a day where he is probably going to be doing nothing big like a day off or something and just don't text him. See if he texts back. See if he can't understand why you didn't text, say you were busy. Then case closed.

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  • There aren't rules about this. He is probably just shy, and that's why he won't text you. He is probably scared of rejection.

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  • I'm in a similar situation as well. I once asked the guy about it and told him that I was trying to "play by the rules" and he told me that there were no rules. Now, I don't text him as much, but maybe once or twice a week I'll be the one to initiate conversation.

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  • Maybe just don't text one day, see if he texts you. If he doesn't, it's likely that he's not bothered either way

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  • Guys want the girl to text first and girls want guys to text first .

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  • Try to boycott one day and see if you are imporatnt to him that he realizes that he hasn't texted you or heard from you all day.

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  • i never him first...on rare occasions where I'm constantly thinking about him I will...but I went with a guy once who always texted me first because he thought it was courtesy I guess...ha I don't know he just thought guys texting girls first was the way it should be. but I've texted guys first and they are like all happy about it because they aren't used to me texting first. so definately wait for him to text you one day..he will text you if he's thinking about you

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  • Sounds like a game to me. And I hate games. At least in relationships I do.

    Anyway, you shouldn't have to ALWAYS text him first. It makes you look kind of desperate, like you always need to be in contact with him.

    Give him a chance to miss you and want to talk to you. He should initiate communication every once in a while.

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