Asked guy to hang out and he yelled at me?

This online guy and I been talking. He asked for my number but I've done all the initiating. I'm trying the persistent method rather than waiting for someone. So I ask him let's hang out I want to meet you! He states he would really like that. He joked around after. So I ask him ok where? He says somewhere where he can talk to me and not do another activity. Then he asked if Sunday or Monday is good. I said Monday is okay. Next day he says he's free Monday. So I say lets do coffee. He ignores and talks. So I bring it up again he's like, " I want to meet you but there's no rush. You sure you want to do Monday." I'm taking this as not interested so I replied" oh I thought you wanted this day? If you don't want to meet or feel comfortable that's okay. But I don't want to text someone I can never meer. Sorry. Nice talking to you though" he replies harshly " are you implying I'm catfishing you? Rather offensive. I'm available Monday I just don't know your boundaries." I apologized and told him he was avoiding and then said no rush so I took it as not interested. He then asks me what time should we meet. I told him 4 or 5. He then asks should he pick me up or meet halfway. I told him it's okay I have a car! Let's meet halfway. He suggested a park and coffee. I said ok which park? He says he doesn't know- hasn't been to a park in a while. I'm like ok? Why go to a park then. I told him I'll search for one. He never replied. So I just took intuitive and said ok let's just go to this coffee place let me know what you think. No reply. Anyways hangout is supposed to be today and no answer yet. I'm not surprised he flaked on me. Did I do something wrong? This is the first time I'm intiating something with a guy. Usually I make them do all the work. I'm a little annoyed but it's whatever. All my online dating experiences have been bad. I don't know how people do it. Do you think he'll even text me to cancel? I doubt he will. I have a feeling he's just going to leave me hanging.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It may sound dumb but show up where you suggested to meet at. If he shows up great if not then you will have your answer and you can close out this chapter.. I agree that online dating is more miss than hit. If I were single I just couldn't do it personally

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you jumped to conclusions a bit thinking that he didn't want to meet you, because yes he might have actually just been wanting to triple confirm. BUT I also do think he was a bit overreacting to yell at you about that.

    I applaud you for being proactive about it, but you might actually have stepped the line into overaggressive.. I would text him at like 3ish and be like "hey just wanted to know if we're still on for coffee today. let me know if you're cool to meet at the place, or we could go to _____ Park. If you're not free we can totally reschedule!" and leave it at that. If he doesn't respond, then move on.

    For future reference though, what you need to do more is just let it be a two way street. Yes, guys like it when girls initiate, but not to the point where it's like LETS DO THIS, WHAT TIME THIS, HOW ABOUT THIS, I'LL DO THIS. Like I know we're trying to move past traditional gender roles as a whole, but I think most guys still like the ability to plan a date or have some sort of input into it.

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    • I agree completely. Only reason I jumped to conclusions was because he avoided talking about meeting up twice. He just avoided the question when I first asked if coffee was okay. Then the second time when I asked where should we go and he said we don't have to rush it. Kind of just gave the impression of -- oh we don't have to go if you don't want to. Then the whole planning to go to park- he didn't really try to find a park, he just said I don't know. I mean it's just a hangout and he stated he was only looking for friends anyways. I don't want to bother him because I already texted him twice last night and he didn't respond. :/ so far no response today. I think I messed up on this one. I'm okay if he doesn't respond. Lol. Saves me the embarrassment.

    • Yea, I totally see where you're coming from and why you might have thought that. It is a bit sketchy, but honestly I'm always a little wary about meeting people in person too so maybe he just needed to take his own time with it. It sounded like he really wasn't THAT interested after getting your number. Yea, maybe just let this one go then. Sorry chica :(

  • Yeah he responded that way because he WAS catfishing you, it's a dead giveaway given his reaction.

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    • Idk- we had a mutual friend and I asked him if he knows him. He matched the description and everything.

    • However I don't know what catfishing entirely is. I thought it was just not being someone in the picture.

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