Why would a boyfriend repeat " I respect you" during heavy petting and kissing?

My boyfriend did that yesterday during the movies (we were the only ones) and while we were making out he starting grabbing me and stuff and during that he was said "i respect you" a couple of times and even a couple more times after. I just thought it was very weird. He is my first boyfriend and we've been dating for almost two months now but we've known each other half a year now.

When the movies were over we stayed and talked and he was saying what an amazing girlfriend I am and he is glad he is with me.

I don't know I just thought it was weird. Curious to know what you guys and gals think :)

Updates:
Thank you everyone for your opinions! I had a little courage and I asked him about it and he told me he was just nervous and was worried that I would think he wanted to have sex with me. Obviouslybje does but Im guessing that was his weird way of reassuring me that he wouldn't force me to go beyond the petting *shrugs*... He said that he felt a bit guilty about it. Said he felt like he was breaking a promise. He is a great guy... Just very awkward lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Clearly he likes you because the only reason why I think he would do that is he was afraid you would percieve it as him using you for sex (instead of it being a natural progression in your relationship and his feelings towards you). In our society men are bombarded with ads and accusations of not respecting women of taking advantage of them etc, to the point where their are laws stating that if he is to have any interaction with you he has to ask persmission at every single step, ask permission to hold your hand, to kiss you to kiss you again and so on and so forth. He has been raised in this enviroment and clearly is terrified at the prospect that any one would think that he would do this specificly you believing he would simply use you and doesn't care which is probably why he said it and continued to let you know, because he thinks thats what you have to do to not be percieved as a non sexually abusive man. Talk to him about it let him know you know he respects you and that he cares about you thats why you let things progress to that point in order to put his mind at ease.

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    • Thank you :) i think thats exactly whats up. He asks permission for anything "can I hood your hand" "is puttig my hand on your waist uncomfortable?" "let me if this is not ok" etc. It is probably bc im a virgin and I let him grab me for a little bit that he wants to make sure that I know Im still respected by him. I have told him that it is ok and that Im allowing him to do that. He is my first boyfriend, my first kiss and first sexual experience (just petting nothing huge yet) and I tell him "if im not complaining you are fine and that i like it" but he always says that he wants to make sure im ok with it, so he can't help but ask and say he respects me.

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    • Well if its a habit it can be broken it will just take some time and reminding (and some patience). I'm glad I could help!

    • Thanks for the MHO!

What Guys Said 16

  • LMAO i just pictured someone like violently fucking, repeating "I respect you, I respect you"

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  • i'd say that just as a prop... its what you want to hear...
    i wouldn't trust him, he's using props..."i respect you"... psh... no he doesn't.

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    • As a prop?

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    • It didn't flatter me or anything. It was just weird.

    • its what it is...

  • look, everyone wants to know they are loved, respected, and appreciated. But that just sounds pathetic.
    Tell him to man up a bit.

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  • "I respect you"... hm. That's about as formal as it gets...

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  • Ugh... THAT'S what he tries to say to make you happy?

    Either he was so lost in his passion for you that he kept saying that or he was trying to escalate it. I'll work on the assumption that he was trying to escalate it, to which I give a big "dafuq."

    He's probably one of those guys who has the idea that in order to push your boundaries he has to kneel before them.

    I pity him.

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  • I guess it's because some women think that sexual behavior is somehow "degrading".

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    • Could be. He asks permission for anything "can I hood your hand" "is puttig my hand on your waist uncomfortable?" "let me if this is not ok" etc. It is probably bc im a virgin and I let him grab me for a little bit that he wants to make sure that I know Im still respected by him. He was grabbing my boob when he said that.

    • I think it's what I said

    • I know I was just agreeing with you

  • He's socially awkward. Sounds like a good guy though!

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    • He is a great guy and very socially awkward lol

  • He wants you to think he's not using you for just sex.

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  • I say "I respect you" as a form of flirtation, perhaps, but not when having sex... it's sort of settled at that point.

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  • Lmao picturing that.. Probably white knight stuff xD

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  • Lol strange

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  • That is bizarre.

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  • Probably just an affirmation for him so he doesn't do anything stupid.

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  • Yes. Very weird.

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  • Because he's heard too many people go on and on about 'if he respected you he'd be happily asexual till you told him you wanted sex'

    He was trying to reiterate that he can want to get down AND respect you. Wasn't the best timing.

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    • That's what I was thinking too.

What Girls Said 10

  • Well that's a really strange thing! Saying he respects you and then grabbing you.. That's like the total opposite! I think what he means "between the lines" is that he will do whatever you let him do. As long as you're okay with it.

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    • I am ok with him. I guess he is trying to be sure that im consenting. (Read update). We got a bit sexual this morning at the end of it he said it again and gave me a kiss. I told him how I felt about it and he apologized and said he can't help himself from saying it to me.

  • I think he was just trying to respect boundaries, so he was letting you know that if you said no he'd be totally okay with it. Kinda his way of asking "is this okay?" but in a weird way lol

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    • I asked him (look at the update). Its kind of what he was thinking too in a way. It was just weird lol he is my first boyfriend so I was confused as to why he said it the way he did and in the moment of it

    • Haha that's cute. He sounds like a good guy :)

    • He is 💖☺

  • Hilarious. I think that's hilarious.

    Sorry I can't be helpful I just wouldn't know. It depends on what this guy is like.

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    • He is good guy, very chivalrous. A sweetheart overall. Yeah I was a weird moment for sure lol

    • Seems like he's inexperienced and something about is spooked him. Maybe all this yes means yes stuff he's overly preoccupied with making sure that you're consenting?

    • Sounds like it. (Read update). We got a bit sexual this morning and at the end of it he said the same thing and gave me a kiss. I told him how I felt about it and he apologized and said he can't help himself from saying it.

      He had gfs before and with them he was sexually active. I don't know if he did that same for them. Hmm.. I might ask him that.

  • ew! I don't respect that!

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  • All black people are cheaters

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  • I don't know.. but sounds really awkward/funny

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  • he was lulling you in to a false security by telling you he respected while grabbing at you what he was trying to tell you he wanted booty.

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  • Are you guys really religious or something? otherwise that is weird. If he was flirting, he's not good at it. i wouldn't know what to say.

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    • No he isn't religious. I think it was just his way of reassuring me that im not being used or that he isn't degrading me. (Read update)

  • He's trying to get in you're pants. Unless he already has.

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    • He hasn't. He won't for a long while. We were just messing a bit

    • I've read some of the other comments and saw what you said. If you think he's a great guy and as long as he isn't forcing you to do something then I think you two are great together

  • Despite urging you to do doing naughty things, he respects you.

    Or maybe he respects that you're secure in your sexuality.

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    • Lol "naughty things" love it. Yeah makes sense. It seems like he was saying it subconsciously tho, he was whispering it lol

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