How can I assure him that nothing's going on between my friend and me?

So me and this guy are dating and we've been together for about 2 weeks now.

Well when we first got together I told him that most of my friends are guy and not to take any offense to it.

well one of my guy friends and me were hanging out and he got mad about it.

How can I assure him that nothing's going on between my friend and me?


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What Guys Said 1

  • There isn't much you can do. He is going to have to trust your word on it & believe you won't do anything between other guys.

    Other than that, the only way is to hang out less or not hang out at all with guys, and I'm sure you won't just drop guy-friends just like that.

    And you can always talk to him. Make him feel like the relationship between you and him is unique, treat him a little bit more special. Because he will compare how you treat him and your other guy friends. He feels threatened that the way you treat them is how you treat him, and he wants to feel like the luckiest guy to be with you.

    That's just my opinion though

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What Girls Said 1

  • First, let me just say that I know EXACTLY what you're going through, because 95% of my closest friends are guys as well, and I think all guys find that intimidating on SOME level.

    You need to know that this is a two way street, if you want to have guy friends, he is allowed to hang out with female friends, no matter how jealous you might get (I am always tempted to be a hypocrite about this too, because I get super jealous of my boy having female friends, but I force myself not to say anything or get p*ssy)

    with that out of the way, let me tell you that you need to prioritize right now that IF it gets to the point, who you can't live without, your boyfriend, or your guy friends, and when making that decision think about the fact that some of your friends have potential to be in your life forever, whereas MOST relationships with people as young as you aren't forever things, though they are nice at the time.

    Having this in mind, TALK to your boyfriend, tell him that you know it sucks for him to have you hanging out with guys but you need them in your life, because they are your friends and your support bracket. Tell him that you picked HIM and not any of them, for a reason, and that you need him to be okay with your friends, DON'T give him an ultimatum. Let him know that you'd be okay with his friendship with other girls, and that you trust him, and that that trust needs to be a two way street.

    If he keeps getting mad, and jealous then it's time to decide if it is worth the drama, and if you can deal with him behavior, and if that behavior is at risk of elevating into more controlling and potentially even abusive (in extreme cases) behavior, and make the choice to get out of the relationship or not from there.

    Just a note, I actually ended a relationship with a guy I had been with for three years because he actually made me cut off contact with several of my guy friends, and I decided that I needed them in my life more than I needed to deal with his crap. I'm now with the most trusting guy I've ever met, who readily encourages me to hang out with my guy friends, and even go visit the ones that live in other cities, because he knows how much they mean to me.

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