Females only like me cause I lost weight?

It started since HS I always played sports but I still was a chubby kid. I never was that interested in relationships until I met this one female. We were friends but she wasn't interested in fact almost every female wasn't interested they all would say things like I'm such a nice guy, funny, sweet, etc. They would say it wasn't my looks but I always figured it was it kind of made me feel worthless that no one wanted me, especially the one girl I liked for all 4 years of HS. My senior year I started to train again for boxing because I wanted to get in fighting shape. Just two years after highschool I went from 250 to 190 but of pure muscle. I finally have abs & my arms just scream gym head. Like I said before I never thought about relationships till I met this one girl because no one ever liked me. Now I notice there's girls that flirt with me & just act very awkward around me I'm respect of course but in a way it kind of makes me feel like crap that now that I'm "In shape" that some females want to date me. I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment cause I'm just to busy with school & training for a upcoming tournament plus I don't want to rush into anything I want it to come natural with someone I have strong feelings for the girl I talked to my whole 4 years in HS talks to me different now she broke up with her long term boyfriend & try's to talk to me. But I continue to have this thought in the back of my head that she only likes me now cause I'm in good shape. While we were in HS I got her stuff animals, flowers on Valentine's Day & even cupcakes for her bday she always told me how I was always there for her & how I'm a great FRIEND she said she didn't see me the same now that I'm not fat she talks to me more flirty. I still have feelings for her but I rather not get hurt again cause I really had depressing times when I wanted her but how do I get these negative thoughts out my head when I meet girls that they just like me for my looks?

Thanks


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This happens to a lot of people. I'm plus sized, and I can guarantee that if I lost 20lbs, I would have many more dates. But my biggest concern is that the people who want to be with me, don't actually see me as a person. They just see the physical. I have that problem now, people just want stuff from me. They don't actually take time to get to know me as a person.

    The trick is to actually get to know people, take things slow. Find out what their interests are and see if you two will mesh well together. Join a club or some social group and just talk to different people. You will eventually find a girl who actually likes you for you!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't think of it as a bad thing. You just went through some self-improvement and you are getting some good reactions from girls.

    In any relationship, people will find that initial physical attraction but the relationship is always held together by the way you connect with your personalities. So dont worry that heaps of girls like you now. Thats a good thing and now you can just show them your great personality and have the relationship you want.

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What Girls Said 5

  • So? Most men like women initially just for their looks. I dont get offended by it.

    There has to be something u fancy about someone to attract u to them in the first place. Then u can get to like them more when u get to know them for other reasons. But if u don't fancy someone then of course u just wanna be their friend.

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  • Quite frankly, looks are a large part of why anyone likes anyone. Get over yourself. Your personality is important because there's more to a relationship than the physical parts, but unless someone is attracted to you, the relationship won't go anywhere. These girls might be drawn to you initially because of your looks. That's normal. That's what you want. That's what happens with men picking up women literally everywhere. But they stay with you because of your personality.

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  • First off? Who's loving your body?
    Secondly, a girl need to able to be there for you during your ups and downs. What if out of nowhere you gained weight again? Do you just become a "friend" again? Especially nowadays, it's highly important to put yourself first before anyone else. Once you know what you want and when you love yourself (if you are having that situation), maybe it'll be easier for you to realize the negative thoughts more and move on. because for one thing for sure don't change yourself for other you have to want to change for yourself.

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  • You can't, its natural to have them. Its your conscious telling you that they are danger hazard and not after a full-term relationship. Trust your conscious

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  • I say give the girl a chance. Because when you date someone, personality really DOES matter. Otherwise, it won't last long, and you'll know soon enough.

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What Guys Said 3

  • A lot of people do not like weighty people

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  • Hey man, that's life. You can't necessarily fault them though. Guys do the same to girls

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  • The confidence factor is huge.

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