Should I lie to him about the number of sexual partners I've had before?

I am 21 years old and had 5 different men as sexual partners. Only one of them was my ex boyfriend, the remaining were either one night stands or friends with benefits. Anyway, fast forward, I met a guy and he is really nice. He's 22. He's actually courting me for a few weeks now. He asked me if I was still a virgin, and of course, I said not anymore. Then, he told me he was still a virgin. He didn't question yet the number of partners I've had before, but I think he's eventually going to ask. I'm afraid that he's going to be turned off if I told the truth. I like him, he's really nice and I see his potential for a long term relationship. Should I tell a lie, or would that cause problems in the future?

Updates:
Hey guys and gals, thank you so much for your opinions! I decided to not tell him anything until he asks. If he did asked, I'd just tell the truth then. :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you shouldn't lie for a few reasons

    -- lies tend to come back and bite you in the but
    -- if you are lying because you are worried about his reaction then perhaps this relationship isn't really going to be successful. a guy you get into a relationship with should like you as you are, not as he wants you to be or as you want to present yourself

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you want something serious with him in the future, lying is not a good idea.
    You don't want to begin your relationship like that.
    I'm talking from experience because I had a little more sexual partner than you and I did tell my boyfriend the real number. I don't feel ashamed of it. My man think a woman has as much right to have sex with whoever she want, just like men. I couldn't imagine being with a man who think otherwise.

    If you start something serious with him, you would begin it all with one lie. He could lose your virginity to you, you have to b honest with him. Don't be ashamed of your past experiences.

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What Guys Said 16

  • If you really do like him, you wouldn't lie for your own selfish needs. He deserves to know the truth IF he asks for it himself.

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  • Lying would work only if he never finds out you lied. However, If you think the truh will eventually come out, its better he finds out sooner rather than later. It prevents you from wasting eachother's time.

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  • d00d just stick with the truth.

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  • If you like he will eventually find out the the truth and then dump you or never trust you...

    Your number is in medium range...
    Just tell him the truth and if he likes you he wouldn't mind it...

    But remember a lie will come and bite you in your ass

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    • And yes if you like him then tell him the truth...

      Every guy had a right to choose a girl with whatever preferences he has... He Also had a right to know what type of girl you are...

  • Don't lie about it, no reason to. The truth might slip out at some point, and its better not to risk it. Five is relatively a low number, so if he would be upset about anything, it would be the fact you had night stands. So don't lie about the number neither the circumstances. He might accept it, he might not. The only thing for sure is you'll realize if your views on sex match, or don't match, which is better sooner than later.

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  • We are all entitled to a past, and we have all done things we question and sometimes regret. We can't change that and you haven't actually done anything wrong anyway. I personally don't think thats a massive number. 10, well yeh. But 5 isn't toooo bad. I'd be honest if I were you as I think lying would make you feel worse in the long run.

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  • If he asks then just be truthful, if that is something that turns him off, then so be it! Just remind him that you are just being honest with him, which is the backbone of any relationship.

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  • no... just be honest. if he doesn't like you because of it then he isn't the right one for you anyway. 5 is not a high number and nothing which should bother him, virgin or not.

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  • Lie: problems in the future

    truth : problems now.

    Decide...

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  • Tell him truth
    At least it won't cause any problem in future :P

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  • Just stick with the truth

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  • no, telling a lie is not a good starting point to build something, plus if he is smart he would be glad you have more experince than him..

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  • Its an unfair question if he asks it. 5 is hardly any so dont worry x

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  • If he had a problem it would be because of jealousy. I predict he would get over it when he's had sex with you hundreds of times and the other men are (I assume) distant memories for you.

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  • Read 'Tess of the D'ubervilles' before you decide.

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  • If I were stupid enough to ask, then I definitely would NOT want to hear about my girlfriends one night stands nor friends with benefits !

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What Girls Said 14

  • I would say not many and leave it at that. If he goes further (and he may not even ask at all) just tell him you've only had one previous boyfriend, you really like him and would rather not talk about any mistakes you may have made in your past.

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    • Don't tell her to lie... When he will know the theory he will be hurt

  • Never lie, even if you're certain he won't find out, it's still bad character to lie. Tell him the truth, do you want to start a relationship on a lie? Hope not.

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  • Just don't answer. it's none of his business.

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  • I dont think its important that he knows, the fact is, you chose to be with him, it doesn't matter who else you were with.

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  • Dont lie, but dont just tell him out of nowhere. Wait until he asks and if he really wants to know then just tell him. The amount of sexual partners shouldn't be such a big deal.

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  • Be honest, don't lie. I mean, 5 isn't even that much, it's not like it's 50 or something. If he really likes you, I'm sure it won't break the deal for him.

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  • no never lie it is something that screws up relationships

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  • The lie will come come back and ruin i

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  • Just tell the truth

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  • Don't tell him anything at all. There is no need for him to know. If he asks you, tell him the truth.

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  • To be honest, if I were in that position I would probably answer 3. Round down, but be honest about there being one of each... boyfriend, one night stand, friends with benefits.

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    • So you wanna lie?

    • When I feel like I am about to be judged harshly or criticized for something, I do tend to dial it down a notch. So, yes.

  • Only mention the actual boyfriend. He doesn't need to know about the rest.

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    • Yes he does... What the fuck is wrong with your women lying about your number? I'd he finds or they she lied he will eventually dump her

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    • But it's wrong to lie...

    • @singlebee Everyone lies about something. It's not a big deal. He doesn't need to know.

  • dont lie it may surprise him but it shouldn't effect him that bad

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  • Just tell the truth. Do you want to start out your future possible relationship with lies?

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