I am 21 years old and had 5 different men as sexual partners. Only one of them was my ex boyfriend, the remaining were either one night stands or friends with benefits. Anyway, fast forward, I met a guy and he is really nice. He's 22. He's actually courting me for a few weeks now. He asked me if I was still a virgin, and of course, I said not anymore. Then, he told me he was still a virgin. He didn't question yet the number of partners I've had before, but I think he's eventually going to ask. I'm afraid that he's going to be turned off if I told the truth. I like him, he's really nice and I see his potential for a long term relationship. Should I tell a lie, or would that cause problems in the future?
Hey guys and gals, thank you so much for your opinions! I decided to not tell him anything until he asks. If he did asked, I'd just tell the truth then. :)
-- lies tend to come back and bite you in the but -- if you are lying because you are worried about his reaction then perhaps this relationship isn't really going to be successful. a guy you get into a relationship with should like you as you are, not as he wants you to be or as you want to present yourself
If you want something serious with him in the future, lying is not a good idea. You don't want to begin your relationship like that. I'm talking from experience because I had a little more sexual partner than you and I did tell my boyfriend the real number. I don't feel ashamed of it. My man think a woman has as much right to have sex with whoever she want, just like men. I couldn't imagine being with a man who think otherwise.
If you start something serious with him, you would begin it all with one lie. He could lose your virginity to you, you have to b honest with him. Don't be ashamed of your past experiences.
Lying would work only if he never finds out you lied. However, If you think the truh will eventually come out, its better he finds out sooner rather than later. It prevents you from wasting eachother's time.
Don't lie about it, no reason to. The truth might slip out at some point, and its better not to risk it. Five is relatively a low number, so if he would be upset about anything, it would be the fact you had night stands. So don't lie about the number neither the circumstances. He might accept it, he might not. The only thing for sure is you'll realize if your views on sex match, or don't match, which is better sooner than later.
We are all entitled to a past, and we have all done things we question and sometimes regret. We can't change that and you haven't actually done anything wrong anyway. I personally don't think thats a massive number. 10, well yeh. But 5 isn't toooo bad. I'd be honest if I were you as I think lying would make you feel worse in the long run.
I would say not many and leave it at that. If he goes further (and he may not even ask at all) just tell him you've only had one previous boyfriend, you really like him and would rather not talk about any mistakes you may have made in your past.