Do I deserve him?

My boyfriend is very sweet, loving and generous. He never talks about other women and constantly says I'm the most perfect one for him while I constantly talk about other men. He always replies while I don't. He flirts with me while I talk to him like a friend. Once, I even blocked him to see his reaction. I was so horrible to him to the fact he couldn't work at all, begged me to stay when I threatened to break up and even cried over me. The relationship was turbulent, leading to me nearly breaking up with him 7 times for various reasons. But the thing is, HE always takes me back quickly. He never says "this is the last chance" or the equivalent.

  • He's crazy, no one can put up with this sort of shit!
    44% (7)33% (9)37% (16)Vote
  • No. Poor guy.
    50% (8)63% (17)58% (25)Vote
  • Yes you do.
    6% (1)4% (1)5% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Listen,

    STOP.

    All of this insecure mind game bullshit you are doing. Stop it immediately before you lose the best possible thing to ever happen to you. You are acting like an insecure, needy, psycho B. I am not saying that you necessarily are one, but you are behaving like one.

    The guy is with you because he cares about you, that should be enough proof for you to realize he wants you. If you can't be with him without fucking with his head, then yeah, you don't deserve him. Shape up before he ships out.

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    • I know, and I want to change. I feel really bad that he got yelled at by his commanding officer because he couldn't work. In addition, he lost supplies worth a month long salary he needed to repay. Once, I've tried to breakup with him over Skype at bedtime. He cried, saying I broke his heart and begged me to stay. The last time I've tried to break up, he was in the field and said he wished he would be run over by the tank. I wish I could take back everything I've done to him.

    • Then change before he gets smart and you find yourself sitting on the corner wishing you did different.

What Guys Said 16

  • What's the issue exactly? It seems you're testing him to ascertain if he will stay. Experience of rejection in the past from a formative relationship? Of course, I may be putting 2 + 2 together and getting 5. But if you don't actually like him, then don't string him along. If you do, then you need to communicate better, particularly about your insecurities.

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    • Yes, I was rejected most of my life. But also because I thought he was cheating on me. I thought he would somehow own up if I ignored him. Apparently he never did. I feel really bad because he is in the army, infantry section and I am putting unnecessary stress onto him. I once even tried to break up with him over Skype before he went to bed. I didn't know I would affect him that much at work. He got yelled at, did bad at work, and he lost his supplies, having to pay again for it, worth a month long salary.

    • Then why the compulsion to keep acting out if you know it has that affect? I think you need to find some sensible way of getting this dealt with, otherwise, you might justifiably lose him. Maybe it will help if you communicate your past experiences in the past with him, and why you think it may be affecting you going forward; or seek professional help if necessary?

  • Well you are boyfriends and girlfriends, as well as he does put you in first place, well unless you don't really like the guy i would say don't give him too much pressure because there will come a point where the guy will break (mentally) and i'm sure you wouldn't want to do that.

    To the point, he's a seems like a decent guy, but you have to make up your mind whether or you want him in your life more or less or not at all and not play around.

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    • I don't know how I can make it up to him. Apparently I thought he was cheating on me when he didn't. That was why I was so horrible to him. I feel really bad, because he's a soldier and he couldn't work when I treated him like this. He got yelled at by his commanding officer and he lost supplies worth a month long salary he needed to repay. Once, I've tried to break up over Skype at bedtime and he cried, begging me to stay and that he loves me. That it hurts him so much and that I broke his heart. The last time I've tried to break up with him, he said it didn't matter because he hoped he would be run over by a tank out in the field.

  • You sound familiar... yes like my ex... I am sure he truly loves you (and he does) becz i know what it feels like when you care about someone and they dont give a shit about you... that feeling is awful;and i would pray to god that no one in the world gets that feeling... but sadly people like you dont understand that (no offence).

    7 times ssly? To me this same kind of shit happend only 2 times and i just could'nt handle the pain of getting used... and i am still feeling so low becz i got blown away just like that (there was my fault too... but this isn't about me)

    I suggest you start to value the efforts he makes to make you happy or stay with you... becz remember when he starts to go away he will never come back in your life... and you will feel way more guilty and full of regrets than you do now.

    Remember once you hurt a person deeply, you stop existing for em.

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    • But if you still want to continue your own shit... then get some respect and tell him upfront!

    • I feel really bad. You are right, I thought guys didn't care and didn't have feelings but apparently, I was wrong. I thought he was cheating on me and I treated him like this. He couldn't work, he got yelled at and he needed to use his 1 month salary to repay for the supplies he lost (he's in the army). The worst thing I ever did was trying to break up over Skype with him before bed time. He cried, begging me to stay, saying he loves me and I broke his heart. He said it hurts so much. And the final (and last) time I've tried to break up with him, he said it didn't matter because he wished he would be run over by a Bradley tank out in the field.

    • I hope you make a mindful decision

  • This is definitely dreadful behavior on your part.

    I must ask, why do you treat people so horribly? There has to be a root cause for you being this way.

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    • I guess I thought he was cheating on me. I thought he would own up. No, he never did. I feel really bad for all this unnecessary stress I am putting on him and all this chaos. I feel horrible because he couldn't work well in the army as a member of the infantry. He got yelled at, lost all his supplies and had to pay for it again worth a month long salary and didn't do well at work. I once tried to breakup over Skype at bedtime for him.

  • This is the definition of an abusive relationship. You are scum. You either start changing some of your ways or at least have the courtesy to not drag him deeper down this rabbit hole.

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    • I know, and I want to change. I feel really bad that he got yelled at by his commanding officer because he couldn't work. In addition, he lost supplies worth a month long salary he needed to repay. Once, I've tried to breakup with him over Skype at bedtime. He cried, saying I broke his heart and begged me to stay. The last time I've tried to break up, he was in the field and said he wished he would be run over by the tank. I wish I could take back everything I've done to him.

  • I voted yes you do, but you really are testing his patience.

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  • Hmmmmm he has a character

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  • Obviously you don't deserve him, but he's kind of an idiot for staying with someone like you.

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    • I thought he was cheating on me, so I treated him like this. Apparently he wasn't. And he was miserable for a few weeks, lost some supplies and got held back to pay for it again. A month long salary too. I do feel guilty, because he is in the army in the infantry section. I didn't know I would affect him like this. I even tried to break up over Skype before his bed time, and I shouldn't.

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    • @melmel1 That's why I think she's a troll :/

    • @AleDeEurope You're right. She could be. Or at least thats what I am hoping

  • I don't think so. You seem to treat him a bit shitty. Only him and God know why he still wants you (back).

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    • I know, and I want to change. I feel really bad that he got yelled at by his commanding officer because he couldn't work. In addition, he lost supplies worth a month long salary he needed to repay. Once, I've tried to breakup with him over Skype at bedtime. He cried, saying I broke his heart and begged me to stay. The last time I've tried to break up, he was in the field and said he wished he would be run over by the tank. I wish I could take back everything I've done to him.

    • Since he's a moron and doesn't know when someone's treating him like crap, you better start treating him a lot better. Otherwise, this can get real bad real quick. In other words, instead of breaking up with him, treat him like a king.

  • Its not about you deserving him, you obviously don't really like him as a lover... its just a guy you don't like but you're sticking around. Surprise surprise right

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    • No. I thought he was cheating on me because he never took down his dating site page. I started being mean to him, being passive aggressive. But in the end, he never cheated and told me he paid for a subscription that needs to end and until then, he couldn't delete. I feel bad because he couldn't work. He's in the army and he got yelled at and needed to repay the supplies he lost worth a month long salary. I tried to break up over Skype at bedtime for him. He begged and cried, saying he never cheated. He even told me he wanted to be run over by the army tank.

  • You deserve no one. Go hook up with a rapist or something.

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  • The fact that you know you are being shitty to him on purpose makes you evil as fuck

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    • I feel really bad. He's in the infantry in the army and he couldn't work. He got yelled at, and he lost supplies worth a month of salary that he has to pay again. I once tried to breakup over Skype before his bedtime. He begged me to stay and even cried. I didn't know I affected him that much.

    • When I tried breaking up with him for the last time, I felt really bad. He said he wanted to be run over by the Bradley out in the field

  • seems to me you're dating a girl

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    • Uh no. He's in the army, and works in the infantry.

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    • What do you mean by easy?

    • You can do whatever you want with him like fuck with his mind 'cuz the moment a guy begs for your attention he's toast. He implicitly said that you're better than him so you can be cruel if you want to

  • He's definatly crazy for putting up with your mind game bullshit.

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    • I know, and I want to change. I feel really bad that he got yelled at by his commanding officer because he couldn't work. In addition, he lost supplies worth a month long salary he needed to repay. Once, I've tried to breakup with him over Skype at bedtime. He cried, saying I broke his heart and begged me to stay. The last time I've tried to break up, he was in the field and said he wished he would be run over by the tank. I wish I could take back everything I've down to him.

  • I have no comment for this tbh, stop wasting his time and break up with him.

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  • sometimes you only know what mistreatment is and have no idea there is any thing else or what to do so you stay.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Are you a sadist?
    Why do you enjoy being an ass?

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  • I dont think i deserve mine..

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  • You dont deserve him

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  • I was in a similar situation... however, i felt it was my ex. who provoked me to fight with him... so we too had some bad times... of "break ups"...
    well... he is gone now...

    think of what it is you want... do you really want to be with him.
    if you do, be nice.
    if not, leave the poor guy alone.

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    • he is gone, and with another woman..

  • No you don't

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