Should I get together with someone that doesn't want to commit to me?

i dated this guy for almost 4 months... he wasn't sure what he wanted cause he was scared to get hurt if he commits.. i still like him very much and i'm not sure what to do.. do you think if i gave him more time things would have changed?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's unwilling to commit because he's afraid of getting hurt?
    Sounds fishy to me. Call me an asshole, but he sounds either emotionally weak/damaged, or he's using that as an excuse to stay on the free market.
    Either way, I'd proceed with caution...

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    • he told me before that he's a very emotional guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • "I'm too scared to commit" is the go to line of anyone who wants to keep their options open, get as much from you doing as little as possible and overall just isn't that into you. Most people are scared to get hurt in a relationship... it's a natural human emotion. That doesn't deter majority of people to fall in love and want a relationship with someone special.

    I say keep your distance but don't completely shut him off. Just start to withdraw little by little to see see if he notices/cares and if he doesn't then take it as a sign to move on.

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What Guys Said 3

  • He's basically weak, i. e scared of taking chances. so fuck him

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  • Have u guys had sex yet

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    • yes we did

    • Well that changes everything I don't know what his problem is.

      He could beusing you and have someone on the side or just likes the freedom.

      Did you guys meet under the terms of friends with benefits or were u guys dating exclusively.

      You need to e more vocal with what you want. let him know.

      Also u can't make u one. comit but yeah four months in and had sex. He to explain or my advice is to move on

  • Give him more time and why are you guys scare? What's the "real" problem?

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    • well i think he's scared cause he was hurt pretty badly in his previous relationship.. honestly im ready to commit so i wanted to introduce my family and friends to him but he doesn't seem comfortable with it

    • Maybe he isn't ready for serious relationship.

What Girls Said 4

  • Absolutely not. It will always be imbalanced. Maybe you can revisit the relationship in time, but for now I think you'll be left feeling unfulfilled. I don't like the idea of one person sacrificing all the time for the other - that's not healthy. It should be give and take. Until he's willing to give you something in return, I don't think you should allow him to take anything else from you.

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  • If you need commitment? Don't stay with someone who doesn't want the same things as you. You'll just get hurt in the end.

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  • It's your call. But if you want to stick to him you would need to be emotionally strong and have zero expection on him. Guys are pretty clear in their heads about this stuff most of the time. I like a guy but he is not ready for a relationship so I was in same situation as yours. But now I'm trying to move on before I get emotionally attached to him.

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  • im in the same boat! this is what I'm going with - if he makes you happy, why do you need a label? if you start to feel insecure, jealous, or sad, then it's time to reevaluate keeping him around. but if the friendship is meaningful, then go with it. and if you aren't committed, that means YOU have freedom too! don't take yourself off the market unless someone tells you they want you and only you, and you feel the same way. THATS how dating is supposed to be! :D

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